Here We Go…

On Saturday I led my last Weight Watchers meeting. I’m still in a bit of shock and I’m not sure that it feels real yet.

I’ve been insinuating that change was on its way and this decision is something I’ve been going back and forth on for awhile. I promised myself when I became a leader that the day I stopped loving it would be the day I quit. While I never stopped loving my job, it didn’t feel like the right thing for me anymore. I’m ready to just have two jobs (as an executive assistant and performer) and focus my energy on rocking those two things and also give myself some much needed Ashley time.

I delivered this speech to all 4 of my classes on Wednesday and Saturday:

It is with a heavy heart and mixed emotions that I share the news that I am leaving the Weight Watchers organization.

This journey started for me 6 years ago when I made the decision to lose weight. I lost 30 lbs, but little did I know what a huge impact that my choice would have on me, and subsequently many other people. My life has changed so much from that day back in 2006 and I have grown so much as a person.

I am so thankful for the people I've met and the transformations I've witnessed. I estimate that I have led more than 1000 meetings and watched hundreds of people change their lives through diet, exercise and changes in their lifestyles. It has been an incredible experience and I am so grateful for each and every moment.

I am so proud of everything you have accomplished on the scale and off. I love the community we have developed in the meeting room and I hope that you will continue to inspire, motivate and challenge one another. Thank you for making this meeting room a safe and special place; as one of my members has often said "there is magic in the chairs".

This has been a huge chapter of my life but I am looking forward to what lies ahead for me. I hope that you will continue to share your journeys with me and can't wait to hear about your accomplishments. I am always here to support you, although now it will no longer be as your weight watchers leader, but instead, as a friend.

Thank you for allowing me to do this job  for the last 5 years. I appreciate your openness, candour, determination, perspective and love so much. Every one of you has inspired me, pushed me and enriched my life more than you'll ever know. I hope I have inspired and motivated you to accomplish more than you believed you could. You're all so amazing and I am just so proud of you. I know that you'll continue to support, motivate and inspire one another and continue to accomplish great things.

I felt that it was important that I end with a quote and it's taken me a little while to find the perfect one... Here it goes:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson

I’ve shed many tears over this decision, but I know that it is the right one for me. At my last meetings, there were many tears and a great number of hugs. My members were so wonderful and supportive, and I was so proud that on Saturday morning, two of my members reached Lifetime after losing 77 and 88 lbs respectively(!!!) It was an incredible way to leave and I’m confident that my members will continue to have fantastic success in their meetings. I will be rooting for all of them.

Change is hard, but also necessary. I’m sure I will cry some more and likely wake up on a few Saturday mornings in a bit of a panic thinking I need to be somewhere else, but I’m excited for what the future holds for me. Here we go…

52 Days Til Summer Challenge

I had a mini-epiphany the other day…

I’m tired of feeling the way that I do.

I’ve really been struggling with my body image for the last 14 months. While it’s really been longer than that, the last 14 months-ish has been really rocky for me and I’m done with feeling this way. It’s exhausting and draining and is doing nothing for me. Last week someone said “get rid of the thoughts that don’t serve you” and it really hit home. That idea coupled with thinking about my past experiences in the midst of a workout led to the idea behind this challenge.

Things I would like to focus on:

• Feeling great
• Eating well
• Shedding a few pounds
• And oh, maybe getting back to something like this

So I thought about what has worked for me in the past when doing all of these things, especially when I was losing weight the very first time, and the following came to mind

• Group support
• Challenges
• Accountability

What better way to accomplish all of that than through a group challenge!! So I bring you…

52 Day Til Summer
#52DTS

I wanted a catchy name and rather go with “Motivated in May” or something to that extent, I figured SUMMER is a great motivation for many of us. I also realized that my feelings were not unique to me. Many of the people I talk to on a regular basis or who are actively involved in the blog/Twitter world could benefit from some guidance, extra motivation and incentive.

Because yes, there will be prizes!

With May 1 marking 52 days til the beginning of summer on June 21, the challenge was born. Beginning this week there will be 52 Days Til Summer posts on Mondays (this week Tuesday because the weekend was crazy) and Fridays. Monday’s post will give you a focus for the week and detail the week’s mini challenge. If there is anything you would like to focus on in the next few weeks, please let me know and I will work to incorporate it into a challenge. Friday’s post will be an opportunity to check in, brag a little, talk about any challenges you may be having and really establish a bit of community. I will be posting these on both my blog and my Facebook page, so you are welcome to respond in the comments section of either or both. I will also be putting together a Twitter list with anyone who would like to participate and using the #52DTS hashtag when tweeting about the challenge. Please feel free to follow the list and use the hashtag to your heart’s content.

Week 1 Challenge:
Why the heck are you Doing This?
And how are you going to make it happen?

I picked up a copy of The Beck Diet Solution last week because it was mega on sale and I remember many people saying great things about it on the Weight Watchers message boards back when I was losing weight. One of the exercises is to develop your list of reasons that you want to lose weight. You were to make these reasons into a list and write the list on a cue card that you could carry with you and read at least once a day.

Inspired by this activity, I made my list last week and also made a list of commitments to myself in order to achieve my goals. Some of my reasons included:

• to be the healthiest me I can be
• to feel strong
• to be in control
• to start liking pictures again
• to get rid of the thoughts that aren’t serving me

I also made a list of commitments that are going to help me achieve these things. These included eating well, tracking and being physically active. I printed off my list and put a copy in my wallet so that I can read it at least once a day and feel inspired when I need that extra little kick of motivation.

Part 1 of the first challenge is for you to do the same thing:

Develop a list of reasons as to why you want to get active, eat healthier or shed some pounds. They can be as general or specific as you need them to be – just make them relevant to you! One of my reasons was to “look like my headshot” which really resonates with me. Once you’ve got your list, make yourself a list of commitments that you’re going to adhere to for the duration of the challenge (and going forward, because we know that everything you need to do in order to lose weight, is everything you need to do to keep it off) This list may change and grow over time, but again make it relevant to YOU.

Part 2 of the challenge is to get moving:

I used to make these calendars monthly and for whatever reason, I stopped and started using my own home calendar. This calendar is for you to track your workouts! Every day you do some physical activity, give yourself a sticker on the calendar. It’s amazing just how motivating stickers can be!! The objective here is to get as many stickers as possible and I will post a new calendar at the beginning of June to take us through to the end of the challenge.

I’ve also put both of these documents into a google doc for easy access

Part 3 of the challenge is to sign up!

Leave a comment on my blog or in the notes of my facebook note to let me know that you’ll be participating. Feel free to introduce yourself, state some reasons why you want to participate and maybe even some of your commitments from your worksheet or your workout plan for the week. Also include your Twitter name so I can add you to the list.

This initial sign up will also ensure that I have your information for the prizes that will come later – more info to follow – but I promise they’ll be fun and exciting!

To recap this week’s challenge:

1. Develop your list of reasons and commitments. Print it off and put it somewhere where you can see it every day. In your wallet. At your desk. In the space next to your bedroom door. Just post it and read them every day. And start working towards them!
2. Get moving! Give yourself a sticker every day you work out.
3. Sign up! Leave me a comment so I know you’re doing this with me

Friday May 6 will be our first recap post. Whether you want to lose weight, get more physically active, meet some like minded people, have group support or just have a general tune up before summer, this challenge is there to help you. I’m so excited for everything we’re going to achieve over the next 52 49 days and can’t wait to see your results!!

Rah Rah for Raw and the Crazy Sexy Diet

I love love love love LOVE this book

I’ve been a big fan of Kris Carr for a long time and the Crazy Sexy Life forums are an awesome place to be, so when I read about her latest book, I knew I wanted to get it.

February is usually a rough month for me, so rather than feel sad (especially since my show was ending too!), I decided it would be an amazing opportunity for some “Ashley time”. I read through the book, as well as Meghan’s 21 Days to Complete Health tutorial and with guidance from both was excited to start the 21 Day Adventure cleanse as documented in Crazy Sexy Diet. Every morning I start the day with a tall glass of water with lemon and cayenne followed by a huge glass of green juiceIt’s very green…

But oh-so-delicious! I feel so energetic after my green juice (which is a combination of celery, romaine, kale, cucumber, ginger and pear)

Meals include lots of (mostly) raw goodness…

huge salads (spinach, carrot, beet, broccoli with steamed tempeh & hemp seeds)

raw soups (spinach, lime & avocado)

zucchini noodle goodness (I’m not lucky enough to have a spiralizer (yet!) , but Gena’s raw peanut noodles were awesome!! I used one of the attachments on our food processor to slice the zucchini thin, but you could use a vegetable peeler too. Topped with a bit of tempeh & sesame seeds, it was a super yummy meal!)

and trips to yummy raw restaurants

Nicole and I went to Rawlicious last week where I had the rawitch and she had the taco wrap. Both were fantastic!! I opted to have a macaroon for dessert and it was the perfect end to our meal.

Between all the incredible food I’m eating (80-90% raw), the juicing, the dry brushing, meditation, physical activity and daily affirmations, I’m feeling absolutely stellar. Today is Day 11 and we were encouraged to write a love list of 10 things we love. “Love makes us radiant. Notice the love and invite it to tea”. Here goes…

Waking up minutes (even seconds) before the alarm goes off
Wearing flowers in my hair, no matter the season
Anything pink
Eating lunch in the sunroom
Finding the perfect quote to end my meetings
Walking into my room and seeing gorgeous flowers

Getting mail that isn’t a bill or paystub
Finding amazing new songs to sing
Scoring the comfy couches on tea dates with friends
Snuggling
Laughing til it hurts

Okay, so that’s 11… but I’ve never claimed that playing by the rules or math were strengths of mine. I’m invigorated and excited for the rest of the 21 days, although I feel like much of it may just be incorporated into everyday life going forward. Ah-mazing.

What’s on your love list? How do you push past the February blahs?

Happy Holidays–Part One

Happy Christmas Eve! Here’s my second annual holiday video (here is last year’s video!)

Part two will be next week where I will discuss the year that has passed, goals and looking ahead to 2011!! Next week I’ll also be blogging about my delicious dinner with Nicole and Meghan – along with an awesome recipe for Nicole’s butternut squash soup.

For my WW members, here’s where I will be/won’t be next week:

Saturday Dec 25 – Carrot Common is closed

Wednesday Dec 29 – Church of the Holy Trinity is closed
Thursday Dec 30 – Forest Hill Loblaws, meeting at 9:30
Friday Dec 31 – Church of the Redeemer, meeting at 9:00
Saturday Jan 1 – Carrot Common is closed

If you can’t make it to one of my meetings, check out the Weight Watchers site for other meetings that are open over the holidays.

I’m so excited to get away from the city and my busy busy schedule for a bit of a break. I’m also excited for all that is to come in 2011. Happy Christmas to those of you who are celebrating!! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and look forward to seeing you soon!

Enough is Enough

On Sunday night I found myself sitting down overlooking the beautiful Toronto skyline reflecting on my feelings. I had just had a great catch-up with the beautiful and insightful Lindsay, had enjoyed an amazing weekend and had spent some time journaling whilst reading Love Your Body, Love Your Life.This week has been the first week in months where I have actually had a bit of down time and I guess that has led to my self reflection and in some cases self deprecation. While rationally, I’m incredibly proud of how far I’ve come and the great life I’ve created for myself, I still find myself struggling to be at peace with the body I’m inhabiting.

But Ashley, weren’t you finding your way through these feelings a few months ago? Aren’t you feeling good and defining yourself by more than just the number on the scale?

Well, yes. And no.

There are moments when I don’t feel at peace. I feel like there’s a part of me that can never be “enough”. A big part of me just wants to feel adequate and lately I’ve been struggling to find that for myself.

I was reading through an old journal from last year and found an entry I had written around the time I was finishing boot camp. Even though I was in amazing shape, it wasn’t enough somehow. I still wanted to lose a few more lbs and couldn’t be happy with the way I looked, despite feeling physically strong, toned and really proud of all that I had accomplished.

I found another journal from earlier this year when I had lost some weight following my break up. I was at the lowest weight of my life, but still didn’t feel good about it because I wasn’t happy with how I had gotten there and recognized that I was too thin. While I already knew it deep inside, I learned that a low number on the scale didn’t mean instant happiness. Imagine that.

On the flip side of things, there are moments when I feel amazing:

During/after a really great workout
When I plan my meals and make great food choices
Wearing a bikini at the pool on Saturday
During my belly dance recital or even just in class
Most days.

I’ve realized that I start to freak out a little when I’m stressed about other things, upset about a certain situation or just generally overwhelmed. I have started to see a pattern in Ashley-meltdown land and know that if I’m overworked and under-rested and without groceries or a meal plan in sight, I will probably freak out within a few days.

Yesterday I went to see my gastroenterologist for a check up. It has been a year since I last saw him, and I can’t tell you how amazing it was to hear the words “You seem to be doing fine without me, I’ll see you in a year unless there is a problem”. I have worked so hard to be as healthy as I am and it felt so good to be sitting in that room on the other side of this disease. The side filled with energy, vitality, strength and without pain, anger or a need for hardcore medication or surgery.

It made me grateful for where I am today, regardless of how I feel about my body. This is what I believe in: achieving great health and being my best me. The other stuff is frivolous and I know I need to work past it.

I’m beginning to realize that my definition of “enough” is changing. I am more than enough and I’m tired of treating my body with such disrespect and anger when I’ve really achieved an ultimate goal, so much more important than the number on the scale or the size of the skirt I’m wearing. I know that I believe that there is so much more to this journey than just the eating right, the exercise and the number on the scale, it just sometimes takes a bit of time to put that into perspective and really live it.

It’s been four years since I started my weight loss journey and looking back I can see how far I have come. I see the small victories I have had and the milestones I have hit along the way. Despite a Crohn’s diagnosis, I feel healthier than I ever have before. I am so happy in the life that I am living and am surrounded by some pretty amazing people. I have so many things to feel joyous about in this life and I know that as I continue to work through this aspect, I will find peace here too. Enough is enough; I am ready to move forward.

Part of the book includes a section on setting intentions and as a result I made a list of intentions for myself. A second part of the exercise is to flip the list around so that it is stated in the present. Here goes nothing:

I am beautiful.
I am comfortable in my skin.
I am healthy.
I am loved.
I am happy.
I am at peace.
I am stable.
I am strong and toned.
I am a role model.
I nourish my body.
I am getting the most out of life.

I am enough.

Weight Maintenance For the Long Haul – What Does It Take?

In August of 2006, I decided that I needed to lose weight. There are probably people who have heard this story 1,000 times (and I’ve told versions of my beginnings on the blog before, here in pictures here with my fat vest and here with an old Myspace journal entry) but it was after seeing my EuroTrip 2006 pictures that I recognized that I needed to make a change in my life. I was feeling terrible about my body and realized that I had terrible eating habits with no sense of moderation. It was hard and I struggled, but ultimately I got to my goal weight and was awarded my Lifetime membership to Weight Watchers.

April 11, 2010 marked my three year anniversary of being at goal and a vow to myself that I would never go back to that weight or feeling that way.

In three years I’ve been able to maintain fairly successfully and I’ve always been under my “official” goal weight. When I got really sick, I lost more weight, but some of it back on and then maintained around there for a long time. In the last few months my weight has fluctuated a bit and I’ve been working to get back into my sweet spot, but for the last three years I’ve been where I want to be. It’s been work, but I’ve done it.

A few weeks ago I received an email from one of my members with a link to an article on a recent poll regarding weight loss and maintenance. The poll showed that more than 2/3 of Canadians had tried to loss weight over the last five years and of that number less than 25% had been able to maintain a weight loss over a five year period.

Added to this, in class on Monday we were discussing obesity. Now I had always known that once you have gained weight, it’s easier for your body to gain it back, but I didn’t know that it actually a factor at the cellular level. My basic understanding is that when we gain weight, our fat cells multiply and get bigger. When we lose weight, the fat cells shrink in size, but we are left with the same number of fat cells. Thanks, biology.

So what does it take to be part of “results not typical” group? In my experience there has been so much more to losing weight and keeping it off than eating right and exercise; it has come down to attitude, habits and behaviour.

When it comes to weight loss, it seems that many people go into it thinking that they will change their eating habits temporarily, lose the weight and then go back to the way they used to eat/live. Or sometimes in order to lose weight they will deprive themselves of all their favourite things and restrict themselves so much that they get frustrated and binge and/or quit. Neither of these approaches are a formula for longevity and I think both can attribute to people gaining weight back after they’ve lost it.

I think the moment you try to lose weight and you think of it as a “diet” or something temporary, it is going to be just that. In order for things you to stick, I really believe that you need to embrace the changes as embarking on a new lifestyle. In that paradigm it seems much more permanent and solid; a resolution or way of living rather than just a band aid on the problem or quick fix. Quick fixes don’t address the issues at hand, nor do they last.

I’ve been known in my meetings to say “there is no save button at goal” and quote Leslie Beck by saying that everything you need to do in order to lose weight is everything you need to do to keep it off. To maintain your weight you need to keep up with the way you’re eating and you need to be exercising but you also need to be maintaining your habits, continually setting goals and maintaining an overall positive attitude about the changes you’ve made in your life. Your habits, behaviour and attitude are going to be the glue that holds everything together and are going to be integral in your weight maintenance success.

It takes a lot of guts to make the decision to lose weight. It’s not an easy task, but definitely a rewarding one. When you find your groove, it’s really exciting and reaching the place you want to be is ridiculously fulfilling. It’s at this point that you need to make the conscious decision to continue forward by giving yourself permission to embrace your new lifestyle as part of your identity.

In 2006 when I joined WW, I never would have dreamed of the places this path has taken me. It’s been a long and winding road, but I’m really proud of how far I have come and I continue to look forward to the next leg of the journey. I have learned so much about myself since 2006 and I know that this learning will just continue in the days to come. My motivation for keeping the weight off has changed, but it is something that I am determined to do. Every day I am reminded that I am not perfect and that this is something I’m going to have to work at (even just a little bit) for the rest of my life and you know what? I’m okay with that. I want to go back to Europe and take new pictures, because I no longer cringe when I see photos of myself like I did back in 2006.   Is maintenance hard? Sometimes, yes.

But is it better than going back to 30+ lbs ago and feeling the way I did then? Absolutely.

I want to open this up to you now because I know this can be a fairly hot topic and one that a lot of people want guidance on… 

If you’ve lost weight or changed your lifestyle in the past, what has helped you to keep it up? What habits, behaviours or shifts in attitude have helped you to be successful? Have you been able to maintain your weight loss/lifestyle changes? If not, what changed? What do you think it takes to keep weight off in the long term?

 

More Green Stuff and Lunacy

Wow, is it Monday already? I feel like last week went by in a blur and this weekend was absolutely jam packed!!

I had to laugh at myself the other day whilst in the fruit and veggie market because my basket was just overflowing with green stuffCollards, kale, and flowers. I’ve decided to treat myself to fresh flowers each week because I love having them in my room! They perk me up and make they space feel homey and fresh. Collards and kale were turned into a lovely meal of steamed veggies with collard wraps. I filled the collards with sunflower seed pate, avocado, red pepper and sprouts and paired them with some steamed kale, bok choy and beets. Collards are an awesome vehicle for whatever you want and have an incredibly mild, fresh flavour. The wraps are super easy (basically just a collard leaf with the hard stem at the end cut out) I will definitely be making them again! My eyes were bigger than my stomach and I ended up passing off of my wraps to one of the roomies who happily obliged.

Ashley had me over on Friday night for some pre-outing green stuff and goodies. Quinoa with carrot, kale, sprouts, beets and pumpkin seeds with thai spices. So simple and delicious!! I felt like I was having a bowl at Fresh. While the bowl was yummy and nourishing, the highlight had to be her raw vegan brownies. Oh. My. God. Were they ever freaking DELICIOUS! She was worried about the icing because there had been a bit of a disaster with the food processor and an under ripe avocado, so she used banana instead which was delightful!! We enjoyed a fun night out with our friend Lauren from school and Lauren’s roommates & friends. On Saturday I led three energetic meetings and had 3 people reach their 10% target, 4 people reach their goal and 2 other people get to Lifetime!! I was on such a high and found myself leaping and squealing a lot – not that this is abnormal for me at my meetings! I think my members have come to expect it. On Saturday night I had the pleasure of going to the Centre of Gravity for the 50th instalment of Lunacy Cabaret. The theme was “Golddiggers and Millionaires” so my roommates and I took the opportunity to dress up in our finest, but my camera and I were not getting along so I didn’t get a ton of pictures! I managed to snap a few self photos before we left… I love playing dress up and having an opportunity to wear my fishnets and boas and pretty bling! The show was a lot of fun and I will definitely be going back at some point! Lots of funny, talented performers interspersed with amazing circus-inspired acts including aerials, stilts and fire eating! Here’s a taste of the finale:

I would have taken more footage but my camera died! There were hula hoops, stilt walkers and other acrobatics going on, all in white with the black light on. If you’re in Toronto, definitely a cool event to check out and it happens once a month. I love that there’s a circus training facility in the middle of Little India!! I would love to add some circus skills to my repertoire!!

I love green stuff, dressing up and good friends – who can ask for anything more?

How was your weekend? Did you do anything cool for Earth Hour?

More Than Just a Number

I feel like I’ve been at war with the number on the scale.

I’ve alluded to the fact that I was struggling amid my break up, but never really talked about how bad things had gotten. Have you noticed the lack of food pictures on my blog of late? Yes, I’ve been busy. Yes I was moving. But there were a few weeks in January when I wasn’t really eating and a good portion of the month of February when I was eating my emotions away.

I’ve talked in the past about managing our emotions in non-food ways, but I couldn’t seem to take my own advice. When Joey and I were breaking up, I didn’t feel hungry. I felt nauseas. I wasn’t home and I didn’t want to deal with anything that was going on around me. The result was an 8 lb weight loss in a very short period of time that was not planned.

When I saw that number on the scale I felt emotions on both sides of the fence. I thought to myself “Ashley, you really need to take care of yourself and get back to eating healthily. You can’t go on like this and your body doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.” The other part of me said “Wow, that is the lowest number you’ve ever seen on the scale”

Yikes.

After losing 35 lbs and maintaining my weight for nearly three years, there I was back in the numbers game with the scale. A game that I was losing miserably, but should never have been played in the first place.

When things calmed down a little bit, I decided that I needed to make a change and obviously gain back some weight. To do this, I decided it would be a great idea to eat whatever I wanted. I ate chocolate. I ate cookies. I snacked on everything. My meals were fairly okay and I was still eating in my gluten free vegan way, but I was consuming way more food than I needed and waaaaaaaay too many treats!! In combination with lack of physical activity and a bit of self sabotage, I gained back the 8 lbs I had lost and then some. As a result of my reckless behaviour, I was no longer at a weight that I felt good about and it had a lot to do with the number that was staring back at me on the scale. Even though I was still below my official goal weight, I’ve been obsessed about my weight and beating myself up over the number on the scale.

Last week I decided to pick myself back up, dust myself off and decide what was more important to me. The number on the scale or how I’m feeling physically and emotionally.

I’m done with stressing out about the scale as it is only causing me harm at this point. I know what I need to do in order to maintain my weight and be healthy whilst doing it. After nearly 4 years of doing Weight Watchers and three years as a Leader, I need to recognize my own victories and be kind to myself. While I feel good at a certain number on the scale, but I truly believe that it’s the feeling of that weight that I’m looking for: A feeling of confidence, strength, femininity, beauty, health and happiness. The number on the scale cannot bring me health or happiness, only I can create that for myself.

So this week I got back to basics and treating my body with love and good things. I’ve been cooking, eating properly and allowing myself some treats in moderation. I am tracking my food honestly, including every little bite, lick and taste. I’ve also gotten back to physical activity and that makes me really happy. A few months ago, the lovely ladies at Fit Chicks Boot Camp offered me a session with them which I started on Tuesday. They are kicking my butt and I can’t wait to tell you more about my experience. I did not have my measurements taken and really just want to concentrate on feeling stronger and more toned without being defined by weight or the number of inches I’ve lost.

I also got back to my bellydancing class last night after a 6 week hiatus (due to REX) and had an amazing time shimmying away with some of my favourite ladies and most brilliant teacher. For the first time this year, I was able to look in the mirror and not be filled with self-loathing.

As I was writing this post, I re-read Meghan’s “I’d Rather Be Chubby” post from last May and it brought me to tears, especially when I got to the end:

I’d rather be a little chubby, with a fuller bottom, rounder face, clearer skin, thicker hair and feel wonderfully vibrant, clear-headed, excited about life,  healthy and happy, than ever have to be sick again.

What would you rather be? What’s most important to you? The way you look or the way you feel? Are you able to make these co-exist? Are you at a place of optimum health? What does health look and feel like to you?

This is exactly what is important to me, and I feel so badly that the events in my life of late, my constant battle with weight and my screwed up relationship with the scale has ruined that for me.

I am done with stressing about the number on the scale.
I am done with letting others’ opinion of me define my self worth, self esteem and confidence.
I am done with feeding my emotions with food and not love.

I am ready to put myself and my health first.
I am ready to treat my body well with good food, activity and self care.

And most of all I am ready to recognize that I truly am more than just a number.

Celebrating at the 2009 Weight Watchers Celebration Meeting

Saturday was very exciting.

I started off my morning with 3 fantastic meetings. The topic this week was the Good Health Guidelines and we had some great discussion on how to incorporate them into our meals each day as well as their importance. I also had a member reach their goal weight, 2 reach their 25 lb milestone, lots of other losses and non-scale victories and another member getting to Lifetime (after losing 42 lbs on the program).

Achieving Lifetime membership is a very exciting milestone with Weight Watchers. As you go through your journey, you eventually set an ultimate weight goal. When you reach that goal we celebrate in the meeting room, discuss the maintenance phase and the member is awarded a silver star for their keychain (bling!) After at least six weeks of maintenance, if the member is within 2 lbs of their goal weight they are awarded Lifetime membership, which has a ton of benefits including only having to weigh in officially once each month, a gold key for their keychain, being eligible to become a Weight Watchers staff member and not having to pay for meetings (as long as they continue to maintain) Getting to Lifetime is hard work and as I always tell my members “there is no save button at goal”. It is a pretty exciting time in the meeting room and it is incredibly inspirational for other members to see people getting to Lifetime.

On Saturday afternoon I skipped over to the the 2009 Weight Watchers Celebration Meeting for my Territory with some amazing friends. Avra and Lindsay (on my left and right) both became Lifetime members this year at my meeting and both made the decision to become staff members. I met Jess through Weight Watchers and watched her become Lifetime earlier this year. She knew right away that she wanted to become a staff member and recently completed her leader training. Lindsay T and I did our Leader training together back in 2007. Since then, we’ve attended 2 of these meetings together and it was thrilling to be celebrating together once again with these newbies. I am also thankful for the amazing friendships I have made as a result of Weight Watchers! It is such a pleasure to work with others who share a passion for this program and believe in giving their members the best experience possible.

The objective of the Celebration Meeting is to celebrate (duh). There’s a lot of amazing things happening within the Weight Watchers organization and this is an opportunity for staff to get together and celebrate the year in our territory.

I was incredibly pleased that Lindsay and I were both recognized for our efforts as Leaders. We both received awards for having members in our meeting rooms who have lost over 100 lbs. So pretty!! It’s been my honour to lead members to all amounts of weight loss, and to have a 100 lbs loser at my location has been so inspiring.

Lindsay was awarded the Diamond Leader award which is given to a Leader that meets a ton of criteria and I was incredibly proud of her. Lindsay is a fantastic Leader and it shows because her members are incredibly successful!

I received an award for having the most members in my meeting reach Lifetime. This year, I helped 23 members reach Lifetime!!!

I was so excited!! I actually started to tear up a bit. My team celebrated with me and I thanked them for letting me do what I do and not have to worry about any of the behind-the-scenes efforts. My team recognized me for my enthusiasm and passion in the meeting room.

I want to carry this around with me all the time.

I absolutely love what I do and find such joy in attending and leading my meetings each week. I have the best members and am so proud of all that they have accomplished. I always so that I have the best “job” in the world and yesterday’s festivities was really icing on the cake. I couldn’t be happier!!

I’m looking forward to another fantastic year ahead with Weight Watchers and celebrating with my staff, peers and these 4 lovely ladies again next year!