A few weeks ago I saw an interview with the founders of Souk Bohemian, and immediately fell in love with everything in their shop. I learned that Vanessa and Morgan had curated a book, and after seeing all the beautiful photography on their site, I knew I needed to own it.
The book is called Brown Bohemians and I'm absolutely in awe with all that's gone into this incredible coffee table book. I'm excited to keep making my way through these moving stories and incredible photos.
Does your computer background stay the same or change on the regular? I like to change mine up regularly, and love that there's a few sites who share monthly backgrounds with pretty options. For the last couple months I've been choosing backgrounds from The Every Girl, and they always bring me joy when I start up my laptop.
Any Drag Race fans out there? I've been loving All Stars 5 and Canada's Drag Race. On AS5 I'm definitely #TeamShea, but would be happy with a Jujubee win as well. For Canada's Drag Race, it's been a lot of fun to see some Toronto queens that I've seen and loved live (like Priyanka and Scarlett Bobo) as well as learn more about other awesome queens from across Canada like Jimbo and Ilona Verley. I'm glad that even though All Stars will be done soon, I'll still have Canada's Drag Race to enjoy for the rest of the summer (and then I'll go back to re-watching old seasons like I always do...)
Happy Sunday, loves xo
PS. After filming this video a week ago, I finally got around to editing it! Check out how I did on Poshmark in June (and if you watch til the very end you'll see how badly I need a new tripod for my phone...any suggestions?)
The Baby-Sitters Club books were some of my absolute favourites growing up. I loved that world, and couldn't get enough of the their stories. When I saw that Netflix had released a new BSC series, I was excited but a bit apprehensive. I worried that it would take the magic away, and wouldn't live up to the special memories I had of their friendship, challenges, and babysitting adventures. Thankfully my worries were for nothing, because I think they knocked it out of the park with the series. It pays homage to the original, with some lovely updates for a 2020 world. Also: Alicia Silverstone plays Kristy's mom! I also loved the addition of 'The Claudia Kishi Club' documentary, which chronicles the profound impact cool girl Claudia had for Asian representation. I really hope that The Baby Sitters Club gets a second season so I can keep enjoying the incredible nostalgia and heart it brings.
Speaking of storytelling, I subscribed to what may become my very favourite newsletter this week. I've had the opportunity to see Chantaie and her work in action, and she is an expert when it comes to the art/science of telling stories. I can't wait to get another edition, and if you're interested in storytelling, you'll enjoy learning from Chantaie's perspective.
My queue of podcasts keeps filling up, but without a regular commute I need to find new & different pockets of time to listen to them. I went to the optometrist this week, and in my travels listened to this meaningful conversation on resilience and showing up for anti-racism with Komal Minhas and Jam Gamble. I loved this quote from Jam:
"That is what community is. When we talk about women supporting and empowering women, this is what it looks like. Amplifying voices that are not yours. Amplifying stories that you have not lived, but deserve to be shared. It’s not just about saying #girlpower. It’s also amplifying those voices and clapping and saying: I see you, I hear you. I appreciate you. And that gives someone the courage to just press on in ways they never knew they could."
This week I was also reminded of this important mantra that Brene Brown shared.
I am not here to be right. I am here to get it right. Such an important distinction and idea to reflect on.
In 4 weeks of writing these weekly posts, I still haven't figured out how to end them. Do I summarize things I shared above? Tell you about something happening this week? Just kind of end abruptly and be done with it?
Maybe I'll get it right in week 5. Until then, friends xo
I was off work for a 5 day stretch this week, and was thankful for the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate. I gave myself permission to rest, and that shift felt very good. I did some thrifting, took long walks, played Animal Crossing, and got a massage. I'm hoping that I can hold onto these lovely feelings.
Fitting that I came across this photo of our Hamilton tickets this week. We watched the televised version last night and it was everything I hoped for. While definitely not the same as seeing it live, it was still really fun to share the experience with Paul and see it onstage. Usually our summer would be full of the arts through the Fringe, Just for Laughs and other shows, so it was a bit bittersweet. I didn't realize how much of the soundtrack I knew as a result of Paul playing or singing the songs so regularly. We followed it up with a Disney singalong, and I'm sure our neighbours were pleased for us to be belting out Let it Go after hearing the entirety of Hamilton.
I've been lucky to shoot headshots with Ian Brown 3 times over the last 10-15 years. I love this series he did of Toronto residents during COVID. It captures so many different perspectives during this unique, challenging time.
Paul found the Land of the Giants podcast this week, and we began listening together. Season 2 is all about how Netflix got to where it is today. In episode 1 it's wild to hear about the evolution of Netflix's culture, and in episode 2 they talk about Netflix's rise above Blockbuster video. I remember so vividly going to Blockbuster on Friday nights to see what movies were out. (Anyone else?) That doesn't feel like that long ago, and yet somehow the world has changed so much since then.
Today I'm looking forward to enjoying a bit more time in the sun, filming a new Youtube video and getting some things done around the house before heading back to work tomorrow. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead xo
Toronto entered phase 2 of reopening this week, following much of the province a couple weeks earlier. Included in the re-openings are restaurant patios, malls, daycares and some personal care services including hairdressers. I was thrilled to get the email from my salon, and booked the first available appointment for myself (which is looking like it won't be until August 1). I'm personally hesitant about patios for now, and I hope that people will continue to wear masks and be safe with more restrictions being lifted. I saw a friend for a socially distanced walk and iced tea hang on Friday, and it was really nice to spend time with someone else and return to some semblance of pre-COVID life.
This weekend marks the end of Pride Month, which would normally culminate in big celebrations and a parade over these last few days. Soon after I wrote last week's post, we watched Disclosure on Netflix, which was a truly eye-opening documentary on the depiction of trans representation in film and television. I've been reminded this month that the first pride was a riot, and Black transgender and lesbian women played a huge role in this revolution.
I went thrifting yesterday (new haul video coming to Youtube later today or early this week!) and listened to this episode of the Healthier Together podcast on diversity and accessibility in wellness. I learned a lot from Chrissy King, Ibhraeem Basir of A Dozen Cousins and Dr. Tosin Odunsi with their perspectives on the challenges and problems in different facets of the wellness world. As Chrissy said in her post Is Fitness Only For Thin, White Women?, "The fitness industry just isn’t inclusive. Fitness is and should be for everyone. It’s a not a “special” club for people who look a certain way. In order for that to be the case, it can’t be marketed solely to thin, white women. It needs to represent all shades, shapes, and sizes." In the episode Liz and Chrissy talked about the fact that wellness isn't just going to a snazzy yoga class and sipping on a green juice, it comes in many different forms, and representation is important. I really appreciated their perspectives, as well as some actionable ways that we can all support change in this industry.
We were set to see Hamilton on March 17, 2020, and both Paul and I were thrilled. On March 14, Mirvish closed their theatres due to COVID and cancelled upcoming performances. All of that to say, we're pretty stoked for this Friday and the streamed version of Hamilton being released. While it won't be the same as watching it onstage, I'm thrilled to finally watch the production, especially with Lin-Manuel Miranda in it!
Happy Pride, loves. Hope you have an amazing week xo
I started this blog more than 10 years ago, and there have been many times over the last couple years where I aspired to get back to writing regularly again. When we started sheltering in place, I had many grand aspirations to do just that - but I couldn't find the focus, or the words. Now that it's been over 100 days, and so much in the world has changed, I've decided that I need to be showing up here again.
Inspired by Gena from The Full Helping and the gals from A Beautiful Mess, I'm going to aim to share a post each Sunday with some thoughts from the week. This may include musings on what's happening in the world, things I'm learning, ideas I'm exploring, what I'm reading/watching/consuming or maybe just fun. We'll see how it evolves, but I'm excited to get back to writing regularly.
This week I watched a thought-provoking panel from Progress Toronto on defunding the police. It speaks to my privilege (and perhaps ignorance) that until recently, I had never given much thought to size of the police budget or the possibility of defunding the police. In Toronto, the police budget is $1.1 billion. That's more than libraries, housing and shelters combined. My local councillor is part of a motion to decrease the police's funding by 10%, and invest those funds in community programs. While this could be a start, many advocates are saying this is not enough. This panel and other things that I've been reading over the last few weeks have opened up my eyes to alternative models, and what changing the distribution of city funds could look like, and how these changes could be a better way to support our communities.
I've been trying to take long walks a few times each week to get out of the house and clear my head. Usually I throw on a podcast, as my queue of episodes keeps increasing now that I no longer have time to listen during my morning commute. This week I listened to a couple of great episodes including:
The Papaya Podcast: One About Diversity, Race and Gaslighting with Avery Francis I first became aware of Avery Francis after hearing about her event series, Sunday Showers. I loved the idea of celebrating professional milestones and was inspired by the community she had created. I started following her and loved her perspective. This is a great conversation with Avery and Sarah,
You know when a book finds you? That's what happened with Untamed by Glennon Doyle. It had popped up in my feed, and then it started showing up everywhere. I downloaded it on my kindle, and then even my therapist mentioned it to me. Ok, ok universe, I'll read the f*cking book. While I resisted it in the beginning, I fell in love once I started reading, completely enthralled by Glennon's candour and attitude. As someone who has been working to show up authentically, her words spoke to my heart and I couldn't get enough. Next up is Redefining Realness by Janet Mock, and in less than a day of starting it, I'm captivated by Janet's powerful story.
This post has been sitting in my drafts for awhile, and originally it highlighted The Ace Class' spring conference at Lake Louise. With all that's happening in the world that conference has now been postponed until later this year. The team at The Ace Class is still producing amazing content and sharing all kinds of valuable resources while we're all at home, including the RISE Digital Summit on May 7, 2020. Check out the amazing speaker line up and save your seat for an uplifting day.
Last fall, I had the opportunity to travel to Vancouver for the RISE conference, presented by the ACE Class. I feel very lucky to work at a company where we are encouraged to own our own development - by reading, taking classes and attending conferences, and I opted to do just that by attending RISE.
So much of this post was written and sitting in my drafts awaiting some photos and finishing touches, and it seems strange and eerie to be sharing it now. Wasn't it just a few months ago that I was on a plane? Attending an event? Hugging new friends? Like many of you, I'm missing all of those things in 2020 amid this global pandemic, but I'm sharing this post because it was a wonderful experience that I want to reflect on + highlight the incredible speakers, vendors, learnings and experiences from the weekend.
I came to learn about the conference on Instagram - you know when you go down a weird rabbit hole on the gram and somehow end up in a place you didn't anticipate - that's how RISE showed up for me. I was intrigued by the speaker line-up, the community and the opportunity to visit Vancouver for the first time. The experience did not disappoint.
The ACE Class team put together a stacked line-up of people to speak at RISE. I was familiar with some of the speakers beforehand including Danielle Laporte, Ashley Freeborn from Smash + Tess and Sarah Nicole of The Birds Papaya, but the event also introduced me to a whole slew of others who had me captivated over the three days.
I got to sit next to Selina Gray at the opening night dinner, and we talked about leaving jobs and our health journeys. Her inspiring talk was centered around conscious wealth and holding sacred space for money. As someone who is often intimidated by money talk and personal finances, it was a great to be reminded that "money is an inside job". I valued Selina's perspective and approach to money, which deeply resonated with me.
Someone else who is new to me (but I'm now obsessed with) is Terri Cole. Terri is a psychotherapist from New Jersey who tells it like it is. She talked about revolutionary self love, and shared a number of ways that we could be blocking just that in our lives. Terri's talk was authentic and refreshing. She also gave a workshop on boundaries, where she told us "healthy boundaries are the bridge to everything you want". Establishing boundaries and being more comfortable in doing so has been a big part of the work I've been doing in therapy over the last few years. Since the conference I've been very into Terri's podcast, where she dives deeper into these topics on a weekly basis and it's full of gems.
Danielle Laporte is an ethereal human and I loved being in her presence. I was familiar with her books and podcast, but it was wonderful to hear her speak in the moment. She opened up the conference talking about stepping into our power and encouraged us to bask. The word really stuck with me over the weekend and served as an excellent reminder for me. Danielle also gave some real talk on using self help to bolster self criticism (oy, I've been there) and encouraged us to stop feeling guilty for wanting what we want, and that we're worthy. I was given a copy of her book White Hot Truth in my goodie bag, and I've been enjoying it a lot and look forward to finishing it soon!
I loved hearing from Ashley Freeborn on the beginnings of Smash + Tess and how their brand has evolved. I had the pleasure of having lunch with Sarah from The Birds Papaya, and her keynote really resonated with me. One of my favourite things she said was "we're ripping ourselves from the human experience of our bodies, and I'm so done with that crap". Argh, so good.
The weekend included so many other amazing speakers and panelists including Mark Groves on boundaries, relationships and courage, Jordan Bower on transformational storytelling, Nicole Smith of Flytographer about the evolution of her business, Maria Morales from the Poshmark Canada team, Miriam Alden of Brunette the Label,Cicely Blain, Paige Sandher -- the list goes on and on. I captured so many notes and have reflected back on everything I took in. The content was bountiful and inspiring.
I loved connecting with some incredible women while I was there. I went to the conference solo, but met some really lovely humans at the opening party and they became my people over the course of the weekend. We sat together, enjoyed lunch together and followed one another on social media. Everyone in the room seemed to be like-minded, so it was easy to chat with others and find common ground.
The venue was gorgeous, and the team brought together an incredible group of vendors to explore over the weekend. I was really excited to connect with the Poshmark Canada team, especially since it was very soon after I became a Poshmark ambassador! I asked them all sorts of questions and got to learn more about the plans for growing Poshmark in Canada. I even got to show them when one of my own purchases arrived at home, and Paul sent me a photo so that I could receive the purchase in the app. I especially love that this moment was caught on camera.
I picked up an incredible sweatshirt from Brunette the Label that I'm obsessed with - they were even sweet enough to stop by the store en route to the venue so I could get the size I wanted. There were many more awesome vendors all around the building, and I loved perusing them during our breaks.
At the end of the weekend, coach Chela Davison closed it out and reminded us aim for integration rather than holding on to inspiration, and take small steps to keep the momentum going. It was a perfect ending to the 3 days. The whole weekend really filled my cup. I did my best to take in every moment and was definitely the gal sitting in the front row, furiously writing notes and beaming from ear to ear. It was my first time in Vancouver, but definitely won't be my last; When we're able to travel again, Vancouver will be near the top of my list of upcoming destinations. I still refer back to my notes from the weekend, and the speakers, brands, and new friends fill my podcast list and Instagram feed.
The Ace Class knows how to put on an excellent event, and I look forward to more speakers being announced for the Digital Summit in May. It's a very exciting opportunity to learn from some powerhouse women and connect with a wonderful community.
It feels surreal to be writing this now, living in the midst of a global pandemic and missing so many of the things that made the weekend so special. I don't know where we all land after this, or what IRL events will look like in the future, but I'm trying to find joy in the small things and seek connection in new ways. Looking back, I'm even more grateful that I got to have this experience last fall, and connected with so many remarkable humans who I now follow from a distance.
Photos are a combination of my own + from The ACE Class Facebook page following the event
Happy New Year! I'm kicking off 2020 with a 100 day project, which I'm calling "100 Days of Nothing New". Here are the guidelines I've set out for myself:
1. For 100 days beginning January 1st 2020, no new clothing, accessories, shoes, make-up, skin care, stationary, home items, books or magazines can be purchased.
2. If something is needed during the 100 days (ie. a special occasion dress for a wedding) it can only be purchased second hand (at a thrift store or on Poshmark)
3. Only exceptions include: stuff for my business when needed, gifts or larger home projects (I want to replace the blinds in our condo and it would be great if I got it done in the first 3 months of the year!)
This project was inspired by a bunch of people who have done some really cool 100 day and year-long projects. The 100 Day Project is a much larger thing that many folks embark on each spring, and it's been really cool to watch friends take part. My friend Lindsay has done it a couple of times with various projects related to creating new art, and my co-worker Courtney did an awesome 100 day project with beautiful poetry and actually turned her project into a book. I was also inspired by my friend Lynzie who did a year of nothing new in 2019, challenging herself to wear her wardrobe and only get things second hand or traded, as well as Elsie of A Beautiful Mess who didn't purchase any new clothing in 2019 and only shopped second hand. For the purpose of this project, 100 days seemed like the perfect length of time and I'm excited to have this goal set to kick off 2020.
I wanted to take on this experiment for a few reasons. For the most part, I don't need anything right now. I have more than enough clothes, accessories, shoes, make up and skin care. I love the wardrobe that I've curated and wear my items regularly. In 2019 I also got more into make-up and skincare (I blame a combination of Youtube + my company's #skincare Slack channel for this one) and definitely have enough stuff to put on my face for 100 days.
Towards the end of 2019, I found myself spending more money on these kinds of items. I'm really happy with the things that I purchased, but I want to slow down my spending and focus on saving. I want 2020 to be the year that I finally pay off my credit card debt and become debt free, and I think this 100 day project is going to really help kick start that.
While I want to stay true to this project, I don't want to be totally militant about it, so I've outlined a couple of exceptions. I have a couple of weddings to go to between now and April and need a dress to wear to both of them. For an item like this, I'm going to allow myself to purchase something new-to-me second hand, either from a thrift store or through Poshmark. I have a couple of dresses liked in my Poshmark account that may be the winner for these 2 events! There's also some bigger home projects that I want to tackle in 2020, and so if I'm able to replace our condo blinds in the first couple months of the year, I'm going to go ahead and do it. But no small stuff, like candles. Why is it so hard for me to resist candles?!
100 days is going to take me until the second week of April, which is perfect as I'll be on a trip and it will be my birthday! I'm looking forward to sharing this journey here and through social media using the hashtag #100daysofnothingnew. If this sounds like a challenge you'd like to partake in, I'd love some company!!
When I got the email that Poshmark had launched in Canada I was thrilled. I had seen bloggers and folks on Instagram mention Poshmark for years, and it had popped up in the occasional search, but up until earlier this year it hadn't been available in Canada. Poshmark is an online marketplace where you can buy and sell clothing, shoes, accessories, home goods and more. The app is super easy to use and the community is a lot of fun. After using Poshmark over the last couple of months, here's what I've been loving.
My love of dresses runs deep
Great way to clear out closet
I've always enjoyed fashion, and over the years have acquired lots of great pieces in a variety of sizes. Normally when I overhaul my closet (or feel inspired by Marie Kondo) I donate a ton of items to a local thrift store, share some with friends and maybe save a few for an upcoming clothing swap. I've found that using Poshmark has inspired me to assess my closet on a more regular basis and help some of my items find new homes. Once you sell an item, Poshmark sends you an email with a shipping label, and all you need to do is print it, package up your item and drop it off at the post office or nearest mailbox - so easy! I've taken to listing a few items each week, and have started a drawer of pieces to go onto Poshmark that no longer fit or spark joy.
Thrifting without thrifting
I love the idea of thrifting and I've definitely found some great pieces over the years, but I don't always have the patience to head to a thrift shop and scour for awesome items. I've shared before that I love a good clothing swap, and that is often the way that I like to add some new thrifted pieces to my closet because it's more of a curated experience. Poshmark takes that curated experience to the next level because as a buyer it's easy to browse or search by brand, size, category or specific style. I love that I can follow some of my very favourite brands to see new listings pop up or search for whatever it is that I'm looking for. Last week I was able to find a great denim jacket in awesome condition to use for layering this fall.
Environmental impact
The world currently consumes 80 billion pieces of clothing each year - that's up 400% from 20 years ago (source). With much of that clothing being produced in the fast fashion realm, unethically produced and created without an effort to be environmentally friendly, the fashion industry is really taking a toll on the environment. Much of this clothing is made overseas, and many workers create these clothes under poor working conditions and for very little pay. Choosing to purchase clothes second hand saves them from going to a landfill, gives the pieces a new life, and replaces your need to purchase something brand new. Poshmark has so many great pieces, many that are brand new or hardly worn - it has the potential to have a positive impact on this industry.
New markets being added
Have you ever tried to sell anything on Facebook marketplace or Kijiji? When I moved last year, I sold a few items on Facebook and it was an excellent test for my patience. While I was able to get rid of a couple things, there was definitely a lot of haggling, excuses, and flakiness - more than I care to partake in! When I was trying to sell my exercise bench, someone tried to offer a lower price because it was going to cost him $20 in gas to drive to my place. Um, what?! Poshmark has recently added some new markets, including home and back to school, making the marketplace a great place to list those items you'd like to get rid of, without that kind of hassle. Potential buyers can make offers on your items, but since you pop things in the mail, you don't have to deal with setting up a time for someone to pick up the item or worrying that they'll be a no show. Folks can make offers on the things in your closet, but there's a lot less back and forth conversation, and accepting/declining an offer is as easy as pressing a button.
Sharing is caring
When you list an item on one of these other marketplaces (like Kijiji or Facebook), nothing really happens after you've put the item up for sale. On Poshmark, there is a community of people there to help you share your items and assist in gaining visibility. These shared items show up in your feed alongside any new items being posted. There's also Posh Parties which follow a specific theme and they're another fun way to connect with the community and help your items to be seen by more people. This week one of the items from my closet got named a "host pick" which meant that it was put in a special virtual showroom for the party - it was pretty cool!
My first Poshmark Host Pick
Excellent deals
The deals on Poshmark are awesome!! I have found some awesome quality items and paid a fraction of what the items would have cost in retail. While I'm cleaning out my closet I'm trying not to add too many additional things, but I've found some super cute pieces of workout gear and an awesome denim jacket. In the app you can "like" items that really catch your eye to go back to later, and in some cases the seller may offer you a special deal including discounted shipping. Like a couple of items from one seller? You can create a bundle to potentially save even more on those items and only pay shipping once.
New to me workout pants from Poshmark
Perfect for specific pieces or special occasions
Because of the search functionality, shopping on Poshmark can be especially good if you're trying to find a specific piece for yourself or have a special occasion coming up. Know that you want a new coat for the fall? You can do a search or follow a brand you know you'd love to own. Same goes for any special occasions you have coming up where you may need something special that you'll only wear once or twice. I've seen a lot of beautiful dresses and gowns that would be perfect for a wedding or party at a much lower cost than you would spend in retail.
Additional income
You may only want to be a shopper/buyer on Poshmark and that's totally cool, but joining as a seller means that there's potential for you to earn some additional money for clearing out your closet. Listing an item takes a few minutes (from taking some lovely photos, gathering details about the item, and then listing it in the app) So far I've made just a couple of sales on Poshmark, but it's nice to see that balance starting to add up in the app. Poshmark takes a percentage of the selling price, but the shipping is all taken care of and everything else goes back to you.
Want to check out Poshmark Canada? You can use my code ASHLEYDTL to sign up, and get $15 in Posh credit to use for your first purchase!
This post isn't sponsored in any way, but if you use my code to sign up I'll also get $15 so it's win-win for both of us. (US friends, you'll receive $5 if you sign up using my code)
I'm so excited to keep selling and buying on Poshmark. It's really cool when you get the sale notification, and also amazing when you find the perfect piece that you've been looking for!
Have you tried Poshmark? What's been your favourite find so far?
And just like that summer is behind us, and we're heading into the fall. It feels like yesterday that it was the end of May and I had some time off before starting a new job and embarking on a new part of this journey. Time certainly does fly.
There are a bunch of things that I'm excited to write about that happened this summer - finishing my latest fitness program, travelling to Indianapolis and Montreal, and finding my groove in Toronto's east end once again. But first I want to talk about something a bit more meta, and the thing that's enabling me to write this post at all: making space.
I've had some big changes in the last couple of years, and this summer brought on its own unique transition. Within less than a month, I started a brand new job with a new company and then moved in with my partner. Getting that job offer was very exciting, but it also put a lot of other things into motion - giving notice and leaving my previous job, as well as giving notice at my apartment. Suddenly I went from lots of comfort and familiarity to a whole lot of transition and change.
And that transition felt like it lasted the whole summer! Every time I looked at the calendar I felt like there was something else coming up, whilst still gaining my footing in the day-to-day of my new job. I am so grateful for everything that was thrown my way, but it felt chaotic and tiring at times, and didn't leave me much space to find my new normal.
And now we're here.
Post Labour Day with those back to school feelings that leave me yearning for new school supplies and a fresh day planner. I finally feel like I've caught up with all of the changes and can just enjoy this new chapter of life that I've decided upon.
I can breathe.
I can enjoy this place.
I can take space for the things that bring me joy.
And be intentional with how I fill the space.
I've been doing some of these things naturally (prioritizing time for lovely friends, trying new recipes, practicing good self care) and others need to be a concerted effort, like practicing piano, reading for pleasure, and writing more regularly.
When I was working in my old job that so was so heavily connected to social media, writing and blogs, I didn't feel excited to come home and write. I was also focused on doing all sorts of social media activities related to coaching, and that always left "write new blog post" at the very bottom of my to do list. I've been using this blog as my online home for 10 years now, and over the years my posts have continued to dwindle in numbers. I've talked about changing that multiple times, but in this moment I see where writing fits in to my life and I'm determined to make it a priority.
So, hi.
The goal is for this post to be the first of more regular posts. I've made a list of things I'd like to write about and would love to hear from you what you'd like to see here. Fitness, health, lifestyle, travel, who knows what else - if there's something you'd like to read from me, let me know in the comments.
Sometimes it feels like yesterday, other times, a lifetime ago; February 24th, 2018 marks 20 years since my mom died.
Grief is a funny beast. Sometimes it's predictable, like in February. I've come to learn that each year grief is going to make itself known very prominently in February. It's cold, grey, and bleak, and so often I feel overcome with sadness that I can't entirely explain. Everyday challenges feel like a heavy weight I can't bear, and some days I struggle to just get out of bed. I've come to learn that self care is key, and do my best to be gentle, while surrounding myself with people who can be gentle for me when I've lost my way.
The February grief I'm familiar with - it's the sneaky grief that catches me by surprise. The times when I catch a glimpse of a mother and daughter doing something lovely together. The ordinary thoughts of the things she will never be a part of. The photo that falls out of a book to reveal an image of a person who I long to be near. The realization that I can't easily recall the sound of her voice. Twenty years will do that to a person.
This week I was talking to a friend whose mom died a year ago. She said that she's at a point now where her mom feels further and further away with each day that passes. I know that feeling well. I've passed through more than 7,000 days without my mom, and now she feels like a distant whisper of the person I used to know.
Last year I mentioned that this 20th anniversary scared me. 20 years somehow felt more significant. Now that I'm here, it still does, even though I know it's just another anniversary. I re-read this quote earlier this week, and it still resonates so deeply:
"As far as I can see, grief will never truly end. It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp. But grief will last as long as love does -- forever. It's simply the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart. A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love. Some days, the heavy fog may return, and the next day, it may recede, once again. It's all an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love." - Scribbles & Crumbs
Twenty years ago I experienced one of the worst days of my life. I've spent the years that have followed grieving, recovering, exploring, learning, growing and changing. I know that losing my mom at 13 has played a huge role in shaping me as a person - but I can't diminish the impact of everything else that has followed. Grief has left me forever changed, as I miss the person who gave me life, and I know that I will never be the same.
I have been following Elsie and Emma from A Beautiful Mess for years - through their blog, social media, their apps and books. I was very excited a few months ago when I saw that they were releasing a subscription box through their Oui Fresh brand that was all about natural beauty care!
I went back and forth over whether I should get the November box, and before I knew it, it had sold out! I didn't want to experience the same sad feelings and so in December I took the leap and subscribed. I decided that it would be a sweet way to practice some self care over the dreary winter months. It took a little while to reach me here in Toronto through the holiday craziness, but last week I got a notice from the post office and got to fetch this beautiful, yellow, sunshine-y box of goodness from Oui Fresh.
Each month the Oui Fresh beauty box features an awesome selection of non-toxic makeup, skincare, bath and body, and wellness brands curated by the Oui Fresh team. They score the items through the Environmental Working Group Skin Deep database, which is a great place to check out ratings for beauty care products. If the item doesn't meet their standards, it doesn't make it into the box. It's not just about including products that are "all-natural" (which is such a loosey-goosey term) - the items in the box will never have artificial fragrance, sodium laurel sulfate, parabens, phthalates, or any known carcinogens (like formaldehyde, mineral oils, ethylene oxide, and crystalline silica). With all of that in mind, I knew I was in good hands!
Each box comes with a couple full sized products as well as some samples, along with a cute print that doubles as a little menu with descriptions for the items in the month's box. This box had 3 full sized products and 2 samples, with a theme of treating yourself and helping to achieve a gorgeous glow amid the stress of the holiday season.
I've already given each product a whirl, and I'm in love!! My absolute favourite is the Bless Beauty Balm by Leahlani. This was one of the full sized products and a little bit goes a long way. It's beautifully moisturizing and nourishing - perfect for this winter season. I've been using it as a nighttime moisturizer and my skin is happy happy happy. My skin tends towards dry, with a bit of sensitivity and is has felt amazing each time I put it on. I've already investigated where I can find this product in Canada, and it looks like it retails for about $61-$67 in Canada, which is more than what I paid for the whole box!
I'm also really stoked about the Oui Fresh gloss in Cosmic Brownie. This is a shade that I love and is perfect for everyday wear. It's moisturizing while adding a sweet hint of colour, and has already become a staple in my purse. I was very curious about Bioessence Squalane + Peptide Eye Gel and have started using this bad boy each day. To be totally honest, I'm the WORST at regularly using skin care products, but it's something that I'm hyper-conscious of as I get older. I've only been using it for less than a week, but the stats on it sound great, so I'm trusting the process! The Oxalis Feel Good potion is another item I've stashed in my purse for moments of stress or anxiety, and I've been loving the blend. It's very comforting and soothing. And the Kaia Naturals bamboo wipes were a great addition because they're a product I know and love! I love them for travel, they're very hydrating (unlike a lot of other wipes) and they biodegrade in 70 days if you plant them, which is very cool.
As a Canadian, a lot of other boxes I've seen have just seemed too expensive once you factor in the currency conversion and shipping - but the Oui Fresh box proved to be pretty reasonable for the value that was offered in the box. The subscriptions vary from $20-$30 USD depending on the length of subscription that you commit to, plus shipping which was just over $10 USD. With the conversion, each monthly box works out to around $42-$45 CDN, which felt reasonable to me for a monthly self-care treat. I haven't researched the value of all the products to purchase in Canada, but this box would have been well over $100 to buy them individually.
I just got notice that my January box is getting ready to ship and I can't wait until it comes in the mail! I had been contemplating a jade roller in my life and lo and behold there's one for me waiting in there. If you're thinking about grabbing one for yourself, be sure to get yourself on the waitlist so you know when the new box is released. The last few have sold out within 1-2 days of the contents being posted.
I'm glad I took the leap on this subscription box and am looking forward to this sweet treat over the next few months! The Beauty Balm is a new staple for me and I'm so happy to have discovered it. I likely won't do an unboxing for each, but if you follow me over on Instagram, I'll be sure to share the goodness on my story when I receive it. Hooray for self care!
Do you receive any subscription boxes? What's been the best product you've received?
Before 2017, I can't say that Hong Kong was ever on my must-see travel list. I didn't know a lot about Hong Kong or what to expect from travelling there. After spending two weeks in Hong Kong in October, I can say with certainty that I love it and I'm so thankful that I had the chance to experience it! (And can't wait to go back!)
Looking back, we did so much over the span of 2 weeks in Hong Kong, but these were certainly some of the highlights.
The Flight
When I told people that I was going to Hong Kong, the first thing that they often asked about was the flight. How long would it be? Had I ever taken a flight that long? What would we do?
Before Hong Kong, the longest flight I had been on was 6-7 hours when I went to Europe in 2006. Since then, my travel experiences have been full of shorter flights throughout Canada, the US and Caribbean, so I honestly didn't know what it was going to be like to be on a plane for 14 hours nonstop.
Our flight left Toronto at 2am on a Saturday morning and arrived in Hong Kong around 5am on Sunday morning thanks to the time difference. We flew Cathay Pacific and they were awesome! I found out that I was able to request a gluten free meal, which meant that I was able to enjoy safe food on our lengthy journey, and that I got served first on a huge aircraft - not bad! On the way over I was able to sleep for 6-7 hours, watched TV and movies, chatted and had snacks.
To be honest, neither flight was that bad. 14 hours is a long time to be seated, but I felt well taken care of, took breaks as needed and the reward to arrive in Hong Kong especially was worth it!
The City
I instantly felt very comfortable in Hong Kong.
Even though it is densely populated, I loved how efficient everything was. The subway system is fast, clean, cheap and easy to navigate. They have Octopus cards that you use for transit (and even small purchases) which made it very easy to get on and off the subway. You can grab one at the airport so you can easily take transit into the city. Taxis were also really inexpensive, but traffic in Hong Kong is unlike anything I've ever seen before! I slowly got used to making the conversion from the Hong Kong dollar to Canadian (dividing by 6 based on the conversion). Most signs were in English as well as Cantonese, and as a city gal, I loved the lights along with the hustle and bustle.
Best Eats
I think everything I ate in Hong Kong was delicious, from the yum cha lunches (Cantonese tradition involving tea and dim sum) to random snacks on the street. Some of the highlights included the Dim Sum Library for an awesome yum cha lunch, Green Waffle Diner for gluten free waffles, The Cakery for gluten free vegan cupcakes in unique flavours like black sesame (they also do a gluten free high tea that I really want to try the next time I'm in Hong Kong!), nood for fresh organic juices and raw chocolate, and Zuma for champagne brunch and phenomenal food.
I also got to visit the Hello Kitty Dim Sum restaurant, where everything was Hello Kitty themed from the food to the decor. It was pretty epic!
It has closed since our visit in October, so I'm especially glad that we had the chance to visit while we were there.
We ate delicious meals with Paul's family when we were at home, and I loved picking up some treats at the grocery store when we were there. Marks & Spencer had gluten free crumpets (!!!) and I found an awesome, local, vegan ice cream called Happy Cow with amazing flavours like green tea, salted caramel swirl and chai. I found it very manageable to avoid dairy and gluten in Hong Kong, while still enjoying all sorts of delectable food.
Favourite Sights
As a big city kid, Hong Kong felt like a big playground to me. I felt like I do in Toronto or New York - at ease. The skyline is phenomenal and it's very cool to see it all lit up at night. My favourite view was from OZONE, which is atop the 118th floor of the Ritz Carlton hotel. We enjoyed some cocktails and the spectacular view!
We spent quite a bit of time on Hong Kong island and in the central district, but we did take a couple of day trips as well. The cool thing about Hong Kong is that there are a number of places that are within a short ferry ride.
We went to Lamma Island for a day to have lunch and explore. It's a 30 minute ferry ride from Hong Kong and a stark contrast to the hustle and bustle of the city. It's very laid back, much less crowded and very cute to explore. There are tonnes of little restaurants with great waterfront views, adorable shops with wares from local artisans, shrines and places to hike and explore. We enjoyed a delicious lunch and I picked up some cute, inexpensive souvenirs. It was quite hot outside the day that we went, so it was nice to be on the breezy waterfront.
I had been told that Macau was like the Las Vegas of Asia and it did not disappoint! It was an hour ride to get there, and has a totally different vibe and feel than Hong Kong, as it was a Portuguese territory until 1999. I loved seeing the Portuguese influenced architecture and signage everywhere. When indoors, it really felt like we were in Vegas - the casinos, the vibrant art pieces and vast amount of shopping are very similar.
We had drinks at the Wing Lei Bar in the Wynn Palace which was absolutely stunning and enjoyed an incredible meal at El Gaucho. There's also a really cool cable car ride into the Wynn that made our visit that much more spectacular.
Hong Kong is full of luxury shopping, from watches to handbags and high fashion clothing but you can also find some very inexpensive shopping in the night markets that pop up - it's a really interesting contrast! We had fun exploring the night market and the ladies' market, as well as some of the fancy shops and department stores.
My favourite shop ended up being a stationary store called kikki.k where I spent a lot of time and got a VIP card on my first go. (They don't have a presence in Canada but I just learned that some of their merchandise is available online through Indigo - dangerous!!)
I got a beautiful 2018 day planner, a journal and an amazing purse that has a phone charger built inside. Everything is beautifully designed and many of the items have the option to have your initials embossed on them.
I also enjoyed the stationary options at LOG-ON, fell in love with Brown the bear at Line Friends, and was treated to some fantastic kitten earmuffs from Kate Spade.
I don't even feel like this post begins to cover everything else in Hong Kong - the amazing time we spent with Paul's family, great conversations, fun times swimming and playing tennis, our various ukulele duets, a trip to the Hong Kong cinema complete with sweet popcorn and time spent relaxing and watching Netflix. I felt very spoiled, happy and loved.
I'm grateful that I had the chance to visit Hong Kong, meet Paul's family, and enjoy a tremendous vacation. I had so much fun travelling with Paul and experiencing his hometown. I can't wait to go back and explore even more!
