Life is Sweet Month - February 2014

I've been waiting for this day for awhile now and I'm so excited for it to be here! This year marks the second installment of the Life is Sweet series on my blog. The series was created in conjunction with last year's sold out show, Life is Sweet Even in February as a tribute to my mom to get people talking about mental health and loss and help raise money for CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health). Last year's month of blog posts was a huge success with more than 10,000 views and many people opened up a dialogue through the blog, comments and social media.

After last year's show and month of blog posts, many people approached me about their own experiences. I heard about people's personal battles with mental illness and loss and how the series really helped them to feel less alone and how much they empathized with those who had written. These interactions really solidified how rampant mental illness is and how important it is for us to work towards getting rid of the negative stigma.

With February upon us once again, I'm thrilled to be hosting another month of blog posts for Life is Sweet month. This year's posts talk about depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicide and loss. Once again my guest writers range in age, gender and life experience. I admire their candor and bravery and look forward to continuing to open up a dialogue about these things that we don't talk about enough in our society. It was amazing to see people sharing and opening up on Tuesday for Bell Let's Talk day, but I think it's incredibly important that we keep that conversation going.

It's also wonderful to have the opportunity to further the dialogue through a remount of last year's show, this time at the Toronto Centre for the Arts. Tara and I have revamped the set list and I've reworked the script to bring together a tribute to my mom and have another chance to talk about mental health, loss and finding the sweetness in life. I can't wait to take the stage on Monday February 10th and share our story once again.

I hope that you'll visit the blog this month to read the stories of my guest bloggers, share their stories through social media by using the #lifeissweet hashtag and I'd love to see another sold out house for our show on the 10th. I feel really great about what this February is going to bring.

Head over to BroadwayBabyTO for an interview Kelly and I did this week about The Life is Sweet Project and candidly talking about mental illness

I Know it's Today - My New Solo Show

Remember that time I was engaged?

In some ways it feels like a whole lifetime ago. I was in a very different place in my life and I often reflect on how much has happened since then. Going from being in a long term relationship for a significant portion of my early 20’s to being single was an outrageous shift. While I don’t talk about my dating life often on the blog, I do have a lot of fun sharing stories with my close friends and occasionally ranting or raving on the Twitter.

Who knew that dating could be so fun, hilarious, ridiculous, joyous, heartbreaking, frustrating and awesome? With that in mind, I decided that these experiences would be most accurately shared the best way I know how: in song.

photo by Chris Luckhardt -  www.chrisluckhardt.com

I Know it’s Today is my newest solo show with Musical Director Tara Litvack. The set list covers a neat mix of old and new musical theatre along with some great new arrangements of some pop/rock songs as well. The show will detail everything that’s happened since that time I was engaged and all the hilarity, tragedy and joy that has ensued including the incredulous ways I’ve met people in this city, my time as the cover girl of The Grid’s Dating Diaries issue and being auctioned off for charity.

And because clearly I don’t have enough material and it’s not enough to be surrounded by those I’ve dated thanks to social media, in the last two weeks I’ve been constantly running into people I’ve dated. I have no idea HOW this is humanly possible in a city the size of Toronto, but I’ll definitely be sharing some of those stories too.

The show takes place Friday July 26 at 7pm at the Flying Beaver Pubaret (488 Parliament St). Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door, and you can call or email Heather at the Pubaret for a table reservation for dinner. I hope you’ll join me on Friday night for I Know it’s Today and my perspective on what it’s like to be a single gal in Toronto!

If you were putting on a show about your dating experiences, what song would you sing and why?

Ohai June

It's already June 10th and this is my first post of the month! Life has been an interesting mix of busy, awesome, a little not-so-awesome, hilarious and fun of late; I continue to embrace 2013 as the year of serendipity and that is serving me well.

I've been busy working away at the first Shakespeare / non-musical production I've done in awhile with the fun folks at Bard in the Park.

We open The Merry Wives of Windsor tomorrow, which means that I'll be spending the week in a corset, causing trouble as Mistress Page surrounded by trees. I love fashion, but I am so thankful that corsets are not required attire in 2013. The show runs until Sunday and I'm really looking forward to having an audience to watch us scheme and play!

Speaking of shows... I went to opening night of I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change a few weeks ago and was super stoked to see posters for The Life is Sweet Project!

While I've been talking about this show for awhile now, and it's still 8 months away, seeing my face on posters at the Toronto Centre for the Arts and hearing the season announcement really made reality sink in. I'm still so grateful and excited for this project to be happening, and looking forward to the creative process.

I've also been having a blast spreading the UnDiet love, following my stop on the blog tour with Meghan Telpner. It was lovely to be able to send a copy of the book to Sara, who was the winner of my giveaway.

Weee! Look what I got in the mail! Thanks @ashleydtl and @meghantelpner can't wait to start! #undiet yfrog.com/oe1skztuj
— Sara Best (@SaraEBB) June 6, 2013

I also posted some more UnDiet and creed love on Instagram this week, sharing my creed-inspired wake up message.

It's so important to me to start everyday with a positive message and work towards making it ridiculously awesometown, which includes:

Slurping up the sunshine and stopping to smell the lilacs

Eating cherries while thinking good thoughts (this time in popsicle form)

Being truthful, youthful, playful and funful

Wearing colour and eating colour. And all the while, dancing through life. 

I'm playing a little catch up on blog posts, but there's some neat stuff in the works. Fun things to expect include a review of an amazing gluten free bakery, a trip to the Toronto Botanical Gardens for a lovely event and the first post in a new series on things in my favourite neighborhoods. 

I hope June is treating you well so far. Summer is nearly here! Think of me as I'm sweating it out in a corset this week xo

Life is Sweet, Even in February

It's been 15 years since my mom died by suicide.

In 15 years I've finished junior high, high school, college and attended nutrition school, started 8 jobs, performed in countless shows, dated, been engaged, been in love, traveled to cities in North America, Europe and the Caribbean and moved out on my own. I've loved and lost and my mother's death has been a part of all of it, every step of the way. Since high school, I've been very open in talking about my mom, her depression and her suicide. When I started writing this blog I never had the intentions of sharing her story through my writing, but on Mother's Day in 2009, I went there. 

Her life and death is a part of who I am, ingrained deep within my DNA and all of my being. Every February I am faced with a bleak, cold month in Toronto with my mom's death anniversary on February 24th to top it all off. For the last couple of years I've made concerted efforts to do something nice for myself on that day to make it easier to cope and to honour my mother. 

This year I decided to create something that has been rumbling in my soul for a long time. On February 22nd at 9:30pm, I will be performing in a show called "Life is Sweet, Even in February" to honour my mom. The show will feature a range of songs that my mum enjoyed and songs that remind me of her alongside stories of her life, our time together, the impact of her mental illness and my journey through healing after her death. I've been collaborating with musical director Tara Litvack on the show and I'm thrilled that this project is going to culminate in my very first solo show. Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door and proceeds from the show's ticket sales will be donated to the CAMH Foundation.  

More details are available on the Facebook event or Pubaret website, or you can just head straight to the ticket site to secure your spot!

MJS Photography

And then that brings us to the blog. 

As I've said, I've been very candid in discussing my mum's death and wanted to give a voice to other people affected by mental illness, depression, loss and all these things we don't talk about. As a society we so often neglect to openly discuss these concerns and in many cases, thy are are shrouded with an incredibly negative stigma. Health Canada's 2002 Report on Mental Illness stated that 1 in 5 Canadians will experience mental illness in their lifetime. The remaining 4 will have a friend, family member or colleague who will. With these presenting concerns affecting all of us directly or indirectly, I truly believe that it is imperative that we learn how to talk about them with one another and work together to get rid of the negative stigma.

Over the month of February I will be hosting blog posts from friends, family and bloggers who will be sharing their personal accounts of experience with mental illness, depression, anxiety and loss. I am so proud of all of these people for sharing their stories, and believe that in the act of sharing we will truly confirm that no one is alone. I've utilized my network to also include posts from practitioners on strategies for dealing with mental illness, as well as posts on working through challenges in life and finding the light and love in all of it. 

I don't believe that there is one answer to dealing with the challenges we face in our lives, and I hope that through this month of guest posts I have covered a wide range of experiences, ideas and opinions. My guest bloggers range in age from early 20's to late 60's. They are men and women from all walks of life. Some will share their identities openly, while others will remain anonymous. All of them believe in the power of sharing their stories and perspectives, and I am so honoured to have them on my blog. I hope that you'll visit the blog for their posts throughout February and share the content via your own networks and by using the hashtag #lifeissweet on the Twitter. 

I've been sending out press releases about the show and the project and have set up a few interviews. I'm grateful to the people who have already offered to share details of the project through their blogs. If you would like more information about the show, the project or would like to feature any of the information on your blog or site, please send me a note and I will be in touch. 

Why Life is Sweet?

A friend gave me lyrics to Natalie Merchant's song Life is Sweet sometime around the 9th or 10th grade. The chorus goes "Oh they told you life is hard, misery from the start, it's dull, it's slow, it's painful / But I tell you life is sweet, in spite of misery, there's so much more, be grateful" and this has always resonated with me deeply. 

In everything that has happened to me in my life, I have tried to maintain a positive attitude and outlook on the world. This has proved to be hard at times, but I've come to learn that life truly is sweet, even when faced with difficulties, challenges and sadness. We have so much to be thankful for and I hope that through this project I will be able to honour someone who had a profound impact on my life, get people talking, work towards raising awareness and removing the stigma around mental illness and also inspire hope and positivity in those who encounter the project with the message that life truly is sweet. 

If 2 women named Ashley tell you something, believe it, no matter how far fetched it may seem

Trust us on this one

I had so much fun with my Ashley on Sunday shooting new promo photos for our upcoming cabaret on October 22 (mark your calendars!)

There were balloons

And smilesAnd little black dresses

And lots more goodness that you’ll just have to wait for… Kudos to Rich Burdett and Claire McClelland for being a stellar team to work with. we ended the day with a great meal at Fresh

We got there just as brunch was ending, so I asked them to squeeze in my pancake order at 2:55. Did you know that their new pancakes are gluten free? Not to mention delicious. The perfect high note to end off on following the amazing shoot. I can’t wait to see the photos.

Other fun stuff coming up: more NYC goodness and Vegan Mofo! And of course more details on the next instalment of the Ashleyx2 cabaret series

Dear Irene,

Thanks for trying to ruin my plans, but you’ve failed.

Thank you to everyone who has messaged, emailed, tweeted or facebooked me. Yes, I was here throughout the storm, but I’m a-ok. Irene definitely put a bit of a change in my plans, but I’m having a ball. I’m writing this blog post as I sit in the garden at Pure and couldn’t be happier.There will be many posts about my NYC experience, and I’ll be updating my NYC restaurant spreadsheet when I’m back, but for now let’s start on Thursday with my arrival, before Irene showed up.

Thursday was my first ever experience with Porter, and I have to say that it was brilliant from the start. I loved the fact that I didn’t have to travel up to Pearson, and that I had a beautiful view of the water and the city skyline. The complimentary snacks and wifi were pretty sweet too. My roommates had recommended the Carlton Arms hotel to me and upon arrival it absolutely felt like home. I will post more pictures of all the common areas, but for anyone who has ever visited my apartment, you’ll understand why this felt like home. I chose a room on the 4th floor and loved how feminine and pretty it felt and thought the extra flights of stairs would be a good idea… 

I immediately headed over to One Lucky Duck for lunchy I opted for the taco salad. There were no seats when I arrived, but managed to grab one just before my food was ready. The salad was delish with the guac and sour cream being my favourite parts.

My afternoon happened on a whim and I was delighted by everything that I discovered. I HAD to go to babycakes and was not disappointed. That, my friends, is a gluten free vegan samoa donut. Caramel, coconut, and chocolate. Apparently it’s a Girl Scout cookie flavour? I’ll call it heaven. There’s been a lot of vegan donuts floating around in Toronto,but not many gluten free ones. I was never a huge donut eater, but this was like a party in my mouth that I never wanted to end. I also grabbed a vanilla cupcake to go. Holy amaze-balls.

I stopped at Moo Shoes, which is an awesome vegan shoe store and picked up some fab brown boots for $30. Perfect for fall and I can’t wait to wear them.

Next stop was Harney & Sons for some tea goodness! I had promised my tea club gals some of the amazing cinnamon “sparkle” tea and wanted something delicious and new to try as well. Emeric (Harney) was so helpful once again and I can’t wait to share details of the amazing teas I purchased.After shopping and wandering I tried my luck at the Mormon lottery again and failed. I then tried to win the RENT lottery and failed at that too. Luckily they had “lottery loser” tickets and got to see the new Off-Broadway production.

I was sandwiched between two other people who were singing all the words so I felt right at home. I also cried. A lot. I’ve come to really enjoy RENT and the exploration of the relationships within it. The new production has some stellar performances, amazing set/lighting and the music sounded awesome. Was really excited to see Will Van Dyke leading the band, as I was recently listening to his tunes as potential choices for the next Ashleyx2 cabaret (in the fall!)

I took a cab home, smiling all the way, excited for the days ahead! I can’t wait to continue sharing my NYC adventures with all of you…

Into the Woods then out of the Woods...

And home before dark! I make this face once or twice in the show...

Watch for some epic sobs around :31 and :42...

We are sold out for tonight and tomorrow, but have shows on Saturday at 2pm and 8pm as well as Sunday at 2pm. Into the Woods is one of my favourite shows ever and I'm having a blast playing Rapunzel. Also excited to have some amazing friends in the audience all weekend.

Grab your tickets on the Stageworks website

I'm also squealing because as of today I only have 7 more sleeps til NYC part 2... Is there anything you think I should do while I'm there? I'm already seeing this and this (starring Bernadette Peters who has also starred in Into the Woods -- see the connection there?).

Remember that time I was in the Fringe?

I can't believe Fringe ended over a week ago. Between seeing 13 shows, performing in 7 of my own and spending a whole lot of time frolicking in the sunshine and mingling in the beer tent, I was one busy gal. While I may not have been posting on my blog, I was popping up in various places on the internet, including a piece on Fringe on Photojunkie's blog

and my beautiful & creative friend Stefne’s tumblr

(unrelated -- I've been reading lots of fashionista blogs lately and I want to add a weekly outfit post to my blog. Stay tuned!)

I feel so lucky to have seen some pretty fantastic shows and performances. Standouts included Kim's Convenience, Tiki Bikini Beach Paradise Party-a-go-go, 5th Element, Mickey & Judy, Ellamentary, Infinitum and Hypnogogic Logic. I saw 3 shows on both Fridays and managed to squeeze the others in amid the craziness. Between 2 performer passes, some advance purchases and some comps, I was a very happy theatre-goer. It was really amazing to see so much talent and ended up feeling very inspired by the fantastic work around me. If you missed Fringe or didn’t get to see all the shows you wanted, The Best of Fringe Uptown is happening until August 5th.

Cellar Hotel went well. We had a sold out show on the first Saturday and a nearly sold out house for closing. I received some sweet compliments on my performance and it was an honour to be onstage with such a talented group of people.

But to be honest, I was really thankful when it was over.

Working 2 jobs and doing 2 shows was really taking a toll on me. I developed a cold just before opening and I just found myself exhausted. As per usual when I'm doing a show, I didn't have much time for myself or groceries or sleep or working out. It was really nice to get back to all of those things once the show had its final curtain call.

I'm now only working 2 jobs and rehearsing for ONE show.

From August 18-21 I'll be playing Rapunzel in Into the Woods. I would love for you to come out and see this show, it is absolutely one of my favourites. And playing Rapunzel means I basically stand in a tower and scream as a blonde for much of the show. Why would you want to miss that!? You can get tickets here.

Summer seems to be about seeing shows, which is totally fine by me. I was lucky enough to see Next to Normal last week as it opened at the Four Seasons. What an incredible show with some ridiculously talented performers. I knew a few tunes from the show and the basic plotline before going in, but had no idea how close to home it was really going to be. I did a lot of crying and was lucky enough to be sitting between two of my best friends. It runs until Saturday and I would highly recommend nabbing tickets if you can. I was also really thrilled to see Ashley in A Chorus Line out in Brampton, have been trying to map out some plans to catch some Summerworks shows and need to get to Stratford ASAP.

That should tide me over till I'm seeing Bernadette Peters onstage on August 25?

Oh yes, I'm back in New York City in less than a month. The squeals have already begun...

Coming up on the bloggy -- my final NYC post and some fun summertime frolicking! Also really excited to have a new digital camera (mine died in NYC), which means there will be some foodie goodness pictures coming up.

How is your summer? Did you Fringe? Have you seen any good shows of late?

Fringe 2011 - Join me at Cellar Hotel

Oh Toronto Fringe, I love you Last year was my first time doing Fringe and I had so much fun with my cast performing our show, promoting, mingling and networking in the beer tent and seeing lots of other great shows (11 in total!) This year I'm performing in Cellar Hotel with 20 other incredibly talented performers. Last night we had our final dress rehearsal and everyone was on their game, the energy was high and all that was missing was an audienceWe open on Thursday and have shows on the following dates at the Bathurst Street Theatre (736 Bathurst)

Thursday July 7, 8:45pm
Saturday July 9, 5:15pm
Monday July 11, 12:45pm
Tuesday July 12, 6:45pm
Wednesday July 13, 3:30pm
Thursday July 14, 5:15pm
Saturday July 16, 11:00pm

Tickets are $10 and can be purchased in advance on the Fringe site or by coming to the box office one hour before each showtime.

I'm being optimistic and aiming to beat last year's record by seeing 15 shows - yikes! Wanna see some shows (other than mine) but don't know where to start?

• Pick up a Fringe program or check out the website and read the descriptions for the shows. With 145 shows in the Fringe, there's bound to be something to interest everyone


• Check out Derrick Chua's list of recommendations. Derrick is a superstar at seeing pretty much every show in the Fringe and is a huge supporter of the Toronto theatre community


• Check out Now Magazine, BlogTO, Torontoist, Mooney on Theatre or some of the other local newspapers/websites for their picks and reviews


• Follow the #FringeTO hashtag on Twitter. It's been really awesome to see how much more engaged the theatre community has been this year and I'm sure it will just continue as more people see shows and check in along the way


• Take a risk and just see something! Fringe is meant to be an exciting, fun avenue for people to perform their work. Don't be like this grumpy-pants and start judging shows before you get there. You never know what you might miss if you take on that kind of bad attitude.

I'm going to try and blog about the shows that I see throughout the week and hopefully that will be of some assistance as well! And if you're hanging around the Fringe tent or catching a show, chances are I'll be somewhere in the vicinity so send me a message on Twitter (@ashleydtl) and let's hang out!

Expressing My Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians! I hope you had a great weekend with your family and friends and were able to find time to enjoy the gorgeous weather and beautiful colours of the leaves that have been changing rapidly over the last few weeks. I had a wonderful weekend and was reminded of all the fantastic things in my life that I have to be thankful for. While different than last year’s list in some ways, many of the elements remain constant.

I am thankful for my beautiful friends and family with whom I had the pleasure of spending a lot of quality time with this weekend. I neglected to take a ton of pictures of my beautiful walk through our neighbourhood with Nicole (my new roommate!), but managed to snap a photo of our delicious almond chai lattes from Broadview Espresso. On Friday I enjoyed a delicious lunch at Fresh with a delightful friend and then spent the afternoon basking in the sunshine on the U of T campus. [insert giddy Ashley here]Friday night also marked the first of two shows I saw this weekend, fuelling another one of the things that I’m thankful for this year: performing and being inspired. I’ve been so lucky this year to be a part of some amazing shows and it’s absolutely wonderful to go see other talented folks onstage and feel inspired. Ashley and I had the pleasure of seeing [title of show] at the Toronto Centre for the Arts. I’m so sad that it has since closed, because I would tell all of you to go see it. It was smart, hilarious and brilliantly performed and both Ashley and I left the theatre feeling inspired. I laughed my face off, left humming the songs and plan to adopt the song Die Vampire, Die! as my new theme song when I’m feeling insecure. I loved the show and was so thrilled that I had the chance to see it.

The Ashleyx2 adventures continued with a matinee of Banana Shpeel on Saturday.

We had a lot of fun at the show. The sets, costumes and lighting were breathtaking, the featured performers were ridiculously talented and the ensemble were awesome too. We had fabulous seats and truly enjoyed ourselves. Cirque du Soleil is pretty amazing…

Both shows left me wanting more and feeling inspired to come home and work on my own art. I want to be performing more and more these days and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many talented people to influence my art.

It goes without saying that I’m thankful for my health, and one of the reasons for the way that I feel is how I eat! Gluten-free vegan living is so normal to me now and I was thankful to enjoy some delightful fall/Thanksgiving inspired treats this weekend including Fitnessista pumpkin chocolate chip muffins Snobby joe lentils stuffed into acorn squashand my weekend pride and joy – a gluten free vegan apple pie!I’ve never made a pie crust before, so it was pretty exciting that my first one was actually gluten free and vegan! As usual, Meghan’s recipe rocked and the crust was super easy to make. I made the apple filling from 2 lbs of peeled & diced apples (Granny smith/Pink lady combo), cinnamon and agave. It was delicious!! I had so much fun baking, eating and sharing it – I felt so domestic and the house smelled amazing.

It was such a great weekend and demonstrated that I have a lot to be thankful for on top of a pretty amazing year… what are you thankful for?

I Can’t Remain Quiet (Video of the Cabaret Included)

It started with a text message…

Ashley and I had been talking about putting on a cabaret for a few months and an innocent text message that I sent to her that read “I guess there’s just something about Ashley” became the catalyst for our show. It was that text that catapulted us into action and the planning began. Ashley and I have been friends since our musical theatre school days, but became really close after running into one another on the subway a few years ago. We have since worked on two shows together and have become one another’s confidantes in life, but especially in our performing careers. We started planning our show extensively while on vacation together this summer. We came back with two very long to-do lists, song ideas and some great story-telling material for the cabaret itself and got moving. We started working with our pianist extensively in September and worked our butts off to get the show together.

There’s a lot of amazing contemporary musical theatre out there that Ash and I were dying to sing. Composers like Kerrigan & Lowdermilk, Scott Alan, Jonathan Reid Gealt, and Kooman & Dimond are making beautiful music and telling amazing stories that need to be told and we were thrilled to have the platform to do just that. It was so fun to put together our set list with songs that showcased our voices and personalities, but also told the story of what it’s like to be an Ashley. This year has provided me with some pretty exciting performance opportunities. I didn’t think I could top the high that I had reached after meeting Sheldon Harnick whilst doing REX in Feburary or the experience of my first Fringe this summer, but putting together our cabaret was absolutely phenomenal. I felt so inspired, every single day, and it absolutely solidified my love for performing and being onstage.

Last Thursday I practically jumped out of bed, ready for our big day. After one final rehearsal we prepared to hit the stage. I was giddy.

We hit the stage and it was magical. We had a great audience of people from many different parts of our lives who were incredibly appreciative of all that we did. Ash and I had planned some little bits of banter which flowed smoothly (much to the audience’s delight) and our songs and harmonies were totally there. I left the stage at the end of the show on a total high. I was so proud of the work I had put out which was reciprocated by the audience’s reaction. The show was followed by a pretty amazing after party and I had a wonderful night mingling with our friends and supporters while dancing and indulging in the Ashleyx2 drink special. I left the party feeling excited, proud, giddy and most of all INSPIRED. The show reiterated for me that I need to be performing and often. So I’m working to make that happen.

In the meantime here’s a video of me singing “Quiet” by Jonathan Reid Gealt at the show.

It’s funny because I originally chose this song just because I loved it; It sat nicely in my voice, the lyrics were great and it fit right into the show. But once we got into rehearsals, the sentiment of the song started to resonate in various areas of my life and by the time I sang it on Thursday it had taken on a whole new meaning. Amazing.

I’m so thankful to have had such an incredible opportunity to perform so beautiful material with one of my favourite people. The show has left me feeling so inspired to perform and put myself out there and for the first time since musical theatre school, I truly feel ready to do so. Thank you to everyone who came and watched… and if you missed it, I’m sure it won’t be the last! I’m excited to see what opportunities the future brings…