for good

I’m really excited to be heading into 2012.

It’s been quite a journey over the last two years, and for the first time since 2009, I feel like I’m starting off a new year standing on solid ground.

Now don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of good things in 2010 and 2011, but I really feel like they’ve been two really big years of transition. I really started to realize this after a number of conversations in the last couple of weeks coupled with looking at a whole bunch of old pictures (thanks Facebook Timeline)

The pictures from the end of 2009 make me especially sad. I looked sick. And truth be told, I had stopped eating, so this fact isn’t surprising. I was so stressed and sad and lost and heading into a crazy, new life without the partner that I had spent the last 3.5 years growing alongside. Our break up was absolutely the right thing for both of us, but it hurt immensely and meant that 2010 was an even bigger year of change that I had originally anticipated when I quit my job and decided that I was going to go back to school. While I enjoyed many parts of 2010, I also spent a lot of time figuring out who I was, what I wanted and how I wanted to be spending my time.

2011 brought lots of good things, but was really up and down in a lot of ways. I went back to work full time in March, which made me feel like a big fat failure. Isn’t that what I was fighting against? Slowly I began to realize that I had made the right decision and that working full time as an executive assistant was a pretty okay thing, and that it gave me time to do all the things that I loved. I also realized that I didn’t want to be a nutritionist, and that this fact was perfectly fine. I loved nutrition school, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do as a career. Working 9-5 also meant that I was free to perform, and in the last 2 years I’ve had some amazing opportunities to be onstage with some incredibly talented people in musicals, concerts, and cabarets, including 3 Ashleyx2 shows.

Ash bought me Kristen Chenoweth’s book (gosh, I adore Kristen. I think we’d be such good friends. And how wonderful is Ash for getting me such a perfect gift?!) for Christmas, and I couldn’t stop thinking about this song while I finished reading the book on the train home from Belleville.

“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good”.

The people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had, the friends I’ve counted on, the places I’ve been, the tears I’ve shed, the mistakes I’ve made, the victories I’ve had – all of these experiences over the last 2 years have absolutely changed me to be the person I am at this very moment.

Who knows what the future brings, but I’m ready for it.

2012, here I come.

I Can’t Remain Quiet (Video of the Cabaret Included)

It started with a text message…

Ashley and I had been talking about putting on a cabaret for a few months and an innocent text message that I sent to her that read “I guess there’s just something about Ashley” became the catalyst for our show. It was that text that catapulted us into action and the planning began. Ashley and I have been friends since our musical theatre school days, but became really close after running into one another on the subway a few years ago. We have since worked on two shows together and have become one another’s confidantes in life, but especially in our performing careers. We started planning our show extensively while on vacation together this summer. We came back with two very long to-do lists, song ideas and some great story-telling material for the cabaret itself and got moving. We started working with our pianist extensively in September and worked our butts off to get the show together.

There’s a lot of amazing contemporary musical theatre out there that Ash and I were dying to sing. Composers like Kerrigan & Lowdermilk, Scott Alan, Jonathan Reid Gealt, and Kooman & Dimond are making beautiful music and telling amazing stories that need to be told and we were thrilled to have the platform to do just that. It was so fun to put together our set list with songs that showcased our voices and personalities, but also told the story of what it’s like to be an Ashley. This year has provided me with some pretty exciting performance opportunities. I didn’t think I could top the high that I had reached after meeting Sheldon Harnick whilst doing REX in Feburary or the experience of my first Fringe this summer, but putting together our cabaret was absolutely phenomenal. I felt so inspired, every single day, and it absolutely solidified my love for performing and being onstage.

Last Thursday I practically jumped out of bed, ready for our big day. After one final rehearsal we prepared to hit the stage. I was giddy.

We hit the stage and it was magical. We had a great audience of people from many different parts of our lives who were incredibly appreciative of all that we did. Ash and I had planned some little bits of banter which flowed smoothly (much to the audience’s delight) and our songs and harmonies were totally there. I left the stage at the end of the show on a total high. I was so proud of the work I had put out which was reciprocated by the audience’s reaction. The show was followed by a pretty amazing after party and I had a wonderful night mingling with our friends and supporters while dancing and indulging in the Ashleyx2 drink special. I left the party feeling excited, proud, giddy and most of all INSPIRED. The show reiterated for me that I need to be performing and often. So I’m working to make that happen.

In the meantime here’s a video of me singing “Quiet” by Jonathan Reid Gealt at the show.

It’s funny because I originally chose this song just because I loved it; It sat nicely in my voice, the lyrics were great and it fit right into the show. But once we got into rehearsals, the sentiment of the song started to resonate in various areas of my life and by the time I sang it on Thursday it had taken on a whole new meaning. Amazing.

I’m so thankful to have had such an incredible opportunity to perform so beautiful material with one of my favourite people. The show has left me feeling so inspired to perform and put myself out there and for the first time since musical theatre school, I truly feel ready to do so. Thank you to everyone who came and watched… and if you missed it, I’m sure it won’t be the last! I’m excited to see what opportunities the future brings…

M is for Make Up and Other Girly Things…

…and proof as to why Ashley should only make videos when she’s well rested.

While not directly related to food, I have really started to think about what kinds of products I’m using on my face, skin and hair. While we may be putting wholesome, delicious foods into our bodies, we also want to be nourishing them with natural products on the outside. I wanted to share some of my favourite products that make me feel amazing!

Living Libations, Best Skin Ever – Such an amazing product made from pure pressed plant oils. My skin feels soft, moisturized and happy when I use this product! “One bottle to cleanse, exfoliate and moisturize” – love that! A little bit goes a long way and the subtle scent is beautiful. Love love love this stuff and I really believe that it helps to make your skin its best ever! Purchased at their booth at the Vegetarian Food Fair.

Peaches and Cream Ultra Moisturizer – Yummy all over body moisturizer (Details on vegan and gluten free products in their FAQ) Available at The Big Carrot or Shoppers Drug Mart

Burt’s Bees Herbal Blemish Stick – My “zapper” (which I found in the couch after I finished the video) Tea tree and juniper oils combined with calendula helps to improve your skin naturally. Available at The Big Carrot or Shoppers Drug Mart

Bare Essentials – I started with the Get Started Kit (how fitting) in fair, which gives you two shades of foundation to work with and blend. It also comes with the mineral veil, warmth, brushes and the ever-important dvd! I also recently picked up eye shadows in Queen Tiffany and Blush shades  which are really pretty and neutral and make me feel glamorous. All of their products make you feel like you’re wearing nothing on your face and give you a natural glow with great coverage. Available at Sephora and Shoppers Drug Mart.

Korres B5 and rice bran mascara – Lovely product line from Greece. The mascara contains B5 which is said to strengthen and improve the quality of your lashes. I got a whole starter set at Sephora, but this product was my absolute fav!!

There are others I could have talked about, but these are definitely at the top of my list I’m also a huge fan of natural feminine care products, like the Diva Cup. I’ve been using mine for a couple of years and it’s such an amazing products. I love not having to use tampons anymore, it’s cost effective, you can leave it in all day and I swear it reduces my cramps. I would add the Diva Cup to my top five favourite girly products because it rocks! If you’ve been thinking about giving one a try, Meghan is currently giving one away.

If you’re looking for some more ideas on natural beauty products, be sure to check out Ange’s Project Natural Glow and  Meghan also has some classes coming up on Natural Body Care – and creating your own is as natural as it comes!

As I said in the video, I’m still learning about animal-free products and would love any suggestions that you have regarding your favourite brands. What do you look for in make up, skin products and other girly goods? What are your favourite products and which do you use every day?

Becoming Vegan

OooOo the cat is out of the bag! (And Eric even makes a special appearance in the video!)

I’m surprised that no one figured it out (or at least commented on it!) but roughly six weeks ago I did make the decision to go vegan and as a result I am feeling really good! I go into a lot more detail in the video, but my reasons were primarily based on doing what is best for my body. Consuming fewer animal products was something that I had discussed from the very beginning with my naturopath and as time went on, I seemed to be eating less and less meat. As I consumed less meat, I was concerned about how the meat I was eating was affecting my body and then made the decision to give veganism a go. Gluten free vegan living is really agreeing with my system and I couldn’t be happier!

If you’re looking for a little vegan love, or you have been wanting to check out some new plant based recipes, Meghan is doing a tutorial called 5 Days Vegan beginning September 15.

The tutorial is a great source of information for anyone thinking about a vegan lifestyle or for those looking for ways to incorporate more plant based foods into their lives. It’s full of facts, worksheets, fantastic easy recipes (like lemon lentil soup!) and meal plan ideas for aspiring vegans, vegan-curious or those just looking for yummy food!

As I mentioned in the video, I really enjoyed Brenda Davis’ book

It is an incredibly useful tool for people looking to find out more information on making the transition to veganism. The only part I didn’t love about the book was a seemingly heavy reliance on tofu, soy and fake meat products. While I do eat tofu, I try not to make it my main/only source of protein and I’m not a huge fan of fan meats. I recognize that everyone is different, but I wasn’t a huge fan of that part of the book. Fake meat aside, it’s chock full of great information on everything pertaining to veganism and if you’re heading down that path it’s a great book to pick up. (I found it at our local library)

I really appreciate your continued support as I work to figure out what works for me and my tummy. This whole journey has been about discovering what I need to do to feel good, and right now going vegan felt like the next step for me. I aspire to keep things simple by eating good food from the earth. I look forward to continuing to document my journey as a Weight Watchin’ gluten free vegan gal with Crohn’s and hopefully spreading some love and inspiration along the way!

I found a great quote when I was flipping through my naturopath’s notes in preparation for this post and I really love it.

Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food.

-Hippocrates

In the spirit of back to school, I’ll be doing a post on packable lunches on Friday and be sure to check back this weekend for my recap of the Vegetarian Food Fair. I’m really looking forward to talks by the likes of Brenda Davis, Brendan Brazier plus cooking demos with Meghan, jae steele, and Ricki Heller. I think it’s awesome that I’ll be attending for the first time so soon after my decision to go vegan!

August's Activity Results Video

Thanks for your amazing and inspiring feedback on my vest post. I love hearing your stories of finding things to compare your weight loss to and seeing the difference in your bodies in pictures! I loved the visual of Kate carrying around a huge piece of 64 lb metal! And wow, Diana, congratulations on 96 lbs lost!! It's important that we give credit where credit is do and applaud ourselves for all the hard work we put into this journey!!

And I think Meghan had a good point as well, wearing clothes that fit makes a big difference. At my highest weight, I used to squeeze myself into thing and I have no idea why I did that. (The vest was a different story since it was a costume piece) I think in some ways I was in a bit of denial and did not realize that my weight had gotten up as much as it did (it was certainly a shock to step on that scale at Weight Watchers Day 1) For me, it was about getting to a point where I felt comfortable in my own skin again and I'm happy to report that I feel that way now!

Rather than just give you another post on my activity results for the month, I made video #2

Here is a picture of my activity chart:

21 stickers - hooray!
Here is Annika's:

How amazing is she??? She is WAY up north and if she can get out and be active, than those of us further south have absolutely no excuse!!

How's your September chart coming along?? Do you have anything fun planned for the long weekend?

Ashley takes a vacation and makes a video

I am going on vacation so I made a video for this post. Please be patient with me as this is my first video and I do apologize for whirring noise that kicks in after a couple of minutes! I hope you can still hear me okay. This was fun and I may begin doing videos once in awhile. Let me know what you think (or if you would prefer I stick to writing my posts)

I found Cream Hill Estates Gluten Free Oats at Wholesome Food Market at 2234 Queen Street East (at Beech Ave). They had 500 g or 1kg boxes of the oats and I also noticed that they carried the oat flour as well.

Meal recipes:

Snickerdoodle oatmeal (I blended mine to be super creamy!)
Cran Apple Salad
Veggie Wraps


In-a-Rush Curried Hummus

(This is an approximation because I was seriously rushing... I think next time I would use more curry powder)

1 can chickpeas, rinsed
1 tbsp curry powder
3 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp oil of choice (I used EVOO)
pinch salt

Whirl everything together in your food processor.
Great with veggies or crackers

As I said about 8 times in the video, I hope you have an amazing week and I will be back this weekend with a recap of the vacation goodness!