The Difference a Year Makes

Last summer I did a show called "I Know it's Today" which was all about boys, dating, relationships and everything that's happened since that time I was engaged. At the time of the show, I had no idea that my life was about to change substantially in all sorts of ways, both personally and professionally.

Now, I've had my share of massive changes over the last five years from leaving jobs (to go to other jobs, attend nutrition school or due to changes in the job itself), starting new jobs, finding a balance of where performing fit into my life, dating people and figuring out what I was looking for in a partner, trying out new things and figuring out what I wanted to be doing with my life. But last year was different.

A year ago I was working in a job that I was quickly beginning to realize wasn't a good fit for me while commuting to Mississauga (1.5 hours each way) 5 days a week. It started to take a toll on my mental health and I was not a happy person. While this was all happening, I was building a new relationship with someone,who (thankfully) was patient, helpful and loving while I was trying to manage a whole lot of stress and some big decisions. I was just about to audition for a show that would go up in January, but had to turn down some other auditions because they didn't fit into my life.

On December 30, 2013, I made some huge changes and almost a year later, my life couldn't be more different.

Right now I'm busy rehearsing for two shows, auditioning more regularly, working at a part time job 10 minutes from my house and doing other work that has flexible timing and location. I have time for the things that are important in my life and have cultivated a great deal of balance. I continue to build an incredible relationship with a partner who remains patient, helpful and loving. Thankfully, I'm now in a place where I feel that I can contribute equally to our growth and love. I have time to work out and nourish my body and spend time with the amazing people in my life.

It's truly amazing the difference a year can make, and next Friday at 9pm I'm going to be sharing more about the things I've experienced and the changes I've made in my show, The Difference a Year Makes (or How to Quit Your Job, Fall in Love and Live the Life of Your Dreams) at the Flying Beaver Pubaret.

Withe the help of mega talented Music Director, Giustin MacLean, I'll be singing songs and telling stories about the crazy year that I've had, how I decided to make those big changes and everything that has happened as a result!

Tickets are available for $15 in advance or $20 at the door either online or at the Pubaret. I would love to see you there so you can help me celebrate the difference a year can really make!

If you were doing a show about how YOUR life has changed over the last year, what song(s) would be required on the set list?

The Confidential Music Theatre Project

Last Thursday I had the opportunity to be a part of something magical.

It started 6 weeks ago, when I walked into my voice lesson feeling kinda bummed out. It was mostly due to 'a change in direction by the producers'  resulting in me losing a singing gig that I was really excited about. I was also feeling run down in my ongoing hunt for an agent and disappointed that I hadn't gotten times for a couple of auditions that I was stoked about. These are totally normal occurrences and feelings in this industry, but everything had just piled up and I was feeling a bit disheartened. I told my voice teacher about how I was feeling at the start of our lesson. We had a great session together and she mentioned that there was a project she was working on that may need someone like me. SO nice. The offer + the lesson was a definite pick me up, and just what I needed.

The next day I was contacted by Robert, one of the organizers of The Confidential Music Theatre Project. He told me that they were assembling a cast who would learn well-known (but not done often enough) show on their own and then put it on for an audience, who wouldn't know what show they were seeing until they arrived at the theatre. The cast would gather an hour before the show and then perform. It was the very first time they were going to be doing this and were really excited about the show choice. I was intrigued and excited so of course I said yes!

Then I learned what the show was.

I found out that I had agreed to play the Nurse / Harriet in Stephen Sondheim's Sunday in the Park with George. Not only was I excited, but now I was mildly terrified. I am confident in my singing and acting abilities, but I had just signed on to learn a show by STEPHEN FUCKING SONDHEIM on my own to be performed with a group of unknown people for the very first time in front of an audience. (For those who aren't musical theatre aficionados, Stephen Sondheim is an amazing composer who has written shows like Into the Woods, Sweeney Todd and Follies and writes incredibly difficult (and brilliant!) music and harmonies). I equated it to having sex for the first time - you have an idea of what you're doing before it happens, you've practiced on your own and then you jump in head first with another person not really knowing how it will really go. Except my first time was going to be with a cast of others AND an audience. How's that for pressure?

I slowly started to put the pieces of the puzzle together and had fun keeping the secret of the show's identity. I realized I knew some people in the cast and poured over my script and score as much as I could. In the days leading up to the show, I could hardly believe what we were about to do. Tickets were selling well and it became apparent that this crazy, secret, theatrical experiment was going to be a real thing!

The day of the show arrived and I needed to trust that I knew everything as well as I was going to know everything. My role wasn't huge, but I still had some solo bits and was certainly challenged learning harmonies on my own. The cast met 90 minutes before the show, quickly went through the Act Two finale and that was it! I posted a video that joked that I was distracting myself from puking, when really the whole thing just felt surreal. The Berkeley Street Theatre was pretty much sold out and we learned that the audience wasn't actually going to be told what the show was - we were just going to start after an introduction from Robert. With scripts in hand, we took our seats on stage and James Woods (our George) began.

One of my very favourite moments of the whole night happened as soon as James uttered his first few words, and it was then that I realized the magic of this project. He started, and I watched a gal in the audience visibly LIGHT UP and gasp. I later learned that it was her very favourite show and she was over the moon thrilled to be seeing it onstage.

The cast was incredible. It was beautiful to watch James and Blair Irwin as George and Dot/Marie. There were awesome demonstrations of spontaneity that you often see at first reads for shows, but everyone did an amazing job at building relationships and familiarity without really having met one another previously. As the Nurse in act one, I had a blast playing with Qasim Khan in our few moments together (and hilariously asking backstage, "what's your name again?!") I can identify one noticeable moment where the whole thing went off the rails (somewhere around part 396 of 'Putting it Together). The whole thing went by in a blur, with our audience generously giving us a standing ovation after both act one and act two. When it was all over, we were all exhausted, exhilarated and generally in awe that we had done it.

After a very late night (considering we previewed, opened, closed & cast partied all in one night), I woke up the next day feeling very inspired. The fact that I was a part of something entirely unique and incredibly special was not lost on me and I was so grateful to have had the chance to be onstage with a such a generous, brave and talented group of performers. I was thankful for the opportunity to step outside my comfort zone and do something mildly terrifying and mostly thrilling in front of an audience.

And while Sondheim's melodies are complex and his lyrics can be wordy, I can't stop humming the songs and revisiting moments in the show. The music and lyrics resonate pretty deeply and the entire experience has been a reminder that I'm on the right path with so many possibilities to follow.

"White. A blank page of canvas. His favorite. So many possibilities..."

- George, Sunday in the Park with George

Love List - July

Hello sunshine!! I am loving the summer weather and adventures that naturally follow. Here's what's making me extra happy this month.

Toronto Fringe
Over the last week my world has been flipped over by Fringe and I feel like it's actor Christmas once again. While I'm not in a show this year, it's been a ton of fun to see all sorts of shows, run into everyone I know and hang out at the Fringe tent. So far I've seen 7 shows with my favorites being Toronto I Love You (hilarious improv all about Toronto and such a stellar line up from Bad Dog Theatre. We saw it on opening and our show focused on Wychwood Barns, Sushi on Roncy and the Downsview airport hangar / concert venue), Punch Up (brilliant comedy from Writer, Director and Fringe regular, Kat Sandler with a stellar cast), Potosi (winner of the new play contest with a fantastic script & cast), Confessions of a Redheaded Coffeeshop Girl (by my ridiculously talented friend Rebecca Perry) and Roller Derby Saved my Soul (which kinda made me want to pick up roller derby...) The Fringe runs until Sunday night and I plan to see even more shows and spend way too much time socializing in the Fringe tent. Like I said, it's basically Christmas. Check out this great list from Torontoist with even more recommendations. 

Roadtrip Adventures
Corbin and I took a trip to Niagara-on-the-Lake over the long weekend to visit the Shaw Festival to see Cabaret. Not only did we get to see Cabaret, but we got to see my dear friend Tara CONDUCT Cabaret. She is the Musical Directing intern at Shaw this year and I was so proud to see her in the pit conducting the orchestra and cast! The show was great. I loved the set (which included a giant, rotating staircase in the centre of the stage), the costumes and the performances from the cast were mesmerizing. Corbin and I really enjoyed our day in the city including a lovely little picnic and some gelato following the show. The drive was gorgeous and it was a really incredible day all around. Bravo, Tara!

Feeling Inspired
I had a moment during the opening of Cabaret (Willkommen, bienvenue...) where I got really teary as I thought to myself "Yes, THAT is what I want to be doing". To make matters worse, Corbin leaned over and said "You need to be up on that stage" (cue even more tears).

This year has been quite the ride, but there have been a few moments where I've doubted myself and wondered if I was on the right path. Performing is all that I've wanted to do for my entire life and for a long time I made it a side project and not the thing I gave all of my attention to. Those days are over, and I'm working to do everything in my power to make my dream a reality and seeing Cabaret at Shaw really solidified that for me. Seeing some great Fringe and networking has reinforced that as well. I've got a couple neat projects coming up this summer including The Confidential Musical Theatre Project and shooting a very fun pilot for a sitcom called Mythfits. There's some other stuff in the works, but I just need to keep this feeling of inspiration going. I'm excited.

What's making you happy this month? What's on your Fringe must-see list?!

I Know It's (Not) Today

You know what certainly wasn't today?

My latest show. 

Because that was July 26. 

It's now November. 

Oops.

I'll blame a crazy couple of months, commuting to Mississauga for work and a month of hummus, but better late than never, right?!

Putting together a show about the trials and tribulations (and hilarity) of my dating life ever since that time I was engaged was a ton of fun. The crowd was into it, and I had so much fun with them during the crowd participation bits, starting at the very beginning:

"How many of you knew me when I was engaged?"

A few hands were raised

"How many of you met me after I had been engaged?"

Many hands were raised

"How many of you have no idea who the f*$! I am?"

A whole table raises their hands

"Oh boy, you're about to learn a lot about me and we're going to have an awesome night"

Tara did an amazing job arranging the tunes, including a version of Adele's Rolling in the Deep which was prefaced with a discussion about break up songs. The conversation had been sparked on Twitter over the days leading up to the show and culminated in a bar-wide singalong of Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" after the show. Ah-mazing.

My own Jewish Yente even made an unexpected appearance during the show to talk about what SHE thought I should be looking for in a man. Unfortunately she seemed to have missed the mark a little bit, bringing up men who I had already dated and broke my heart, slept with a friend or were just kind of terrible. Nevertheless, it was sweet that she paid us a visit, even if her suggestions were kind of the worst. No hard feelings.

I talked about being the Grid's Dating Diaries cover girl (and the aftermath), being auctioned off for charity and how my shoes should have actually made an appearance at my wedding that never happened (and how symbolic it was that I decided to take them off two songs into the show).

We talked about nicknames for the people I've dated that my friends had made up and the audience had some great contributions of their own on that topic! It was fun and therapeutic to share some of the silly tales of my dating history and also realize the learnings that I've come to along the way:

1. Relax
2. Have fun
3. It's okay to stand on the precipice and dive right it. Just choose love, right?



I think the show had the potential to be bitter and angry, but that just wouldn't have been me. I have had some ridiculous things happen to me in my dating life, but I've also met some really neat people and learned a lot about myself and what I'm looking for (also, NOT looking for). I'm such an optimist and deep down a romantic at heart, so in spite of a handful of less than stellar experiences, some heartbreak and encounters with complete assholes, I've still continued to say yes to life and let serendipity run its course. And I've gotta say, I wouldn't have it any other way. Especially now.

As for the rest? At least I've got some great stories to keep friends (and strangers) entertained.

And I'm still smiling 3+ months later. Thanks to everyone who came to the show and for the Flying Beaver Pubaret for hosting Tara and I once again!

And special thanks to Corbin Smith for the photos from the show

I Know it's Today - My New Solo Show

Remember that time I was engaged?

In some ways it feels like a whole lifetime ago. I was in a very different place in my life and I often reflect on how much has happened since then. Going from being in a long term relationship for a significant portion of my early 20’s to being single was an outrageous shift. While I don’t talk about my dating life often on the blog, I do have a lot of fun sharing stories with my close friends and occasionally ranting or raving on the Twitter.

Who knew that dating could be so fun, hilarious, ridiculous, joyous, heartbreaking, frustrating and awesome? With that in mind, I decided that these experiences would be most accurately shared the best way I know how: in song.

photo by Chris Luckhardt -  www.chrisluckhardt.com

I Know it’s Today is my newest solo show with Musical Director Tara Litvack. The set list covers a neat mix of old and new musical theatre along with some great new arrangements of some pop/rock songs as well. The show will detail everything that’s happened since that time I was engaged and all the hilarity, tragedy and joy that has ensued including the incredulous ways I’ve met people in this city, my time as the cover girl of The Grid’s Dating Diaries issue and being auctioned off for charity.

And because clearly I don’t have enough material and it’s not enough to be surrounded by those I’ve dated thanks to social media, in the last two weeks I’ve been constantly running into people I’ve dated. I have no idea HOW this is humanly possible in a city the size of Toronto, but I’ll definitely be sharing some of those stories too.

The show takes place Friday July 26 at 7pm at the Flying Beaver Pubaret (488 Parliament St). Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door, and you can call or email Heather at the Pubaret for a table reservation for dinner. I hope you’ll join me on Friday night for I Know it’s Today and my perspective on what it’s like to be a single gal in Toronto!

If you were putting on a show about your dating experiences, what song would you sing and why?

for good

I’m really excited to be heading into 2012.

It’s been quite a journey over the last two years, and for the first time since 2009, I feel like I’m starting off a new year standing on solid ground.

Now don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of good things in 2010 and 2011, but I really feel like they’ve been two really big years of transition. I really started to realize this after a number of conversations in the last couple of weeks coupled with looking at a whole bunch of old pictures (thanks Facebook Timeline)

The pictures from the end of 2009 make me especially sad. I looked sick. And truth be told, I had stopped eating, so this fact isn’t surprising. I was so stressed and sad and lost and heading into a crazy, new life without the partner that I had spent the last 3.5 years growing alongside. Our break up was absolutely the right thing for both of us, but it hurt immensely and meant that 2010 was an even bigger year of change that I had originally anticipated when I quit my job and decided that I was going to go back to school. While I enjoyed many parts of 2010, I also spent a lot of time figuring out who I was, what I wanted and how I wanted to be spending my time.

2011 brought lots of good things, but was really up and down in a lot of ways. I went back to work full time in March, which made me feel like a big fat failure. Isn’t that what I was fighting against? Slowly I began to realize that I had made the right decision and that working full time as an executive assistant was a pretty okay thing, and that it gave me time to do all the things that I loved. I also realized that I didn’t want to be a nutritionist, and that this fact was perfectly fine. I loved nutrition school, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do as a career. Working 9-5 also meant that I was free to perform, and in the last 2 years I’ve had some amazing opportunities to be onstage with some incredibly talented people in musicals, concerts, and cabarets, including 3 Ashleyx2 shows.

Ash bought me Kristen Chenoweth’s book (gosh, I adore Kristen. I think we’d be such good friends. And how wonderful is Ash for getting me such a perfect gift?!) for Christmas, and I couldn’t stop thinking about this song while I finished reading the book on the train home from Belleville.

“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good”.

The people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had, the friends I’ve counted on, the places I’ve been, the tears I’ve shed, the mistakes I’ve made, the victories I’ve had – all of these experiences over the last 2 years have absolutely changed me to be the person I am at this very moment.

Who knows what the future brings, but I’m ready for it.

2012, here I come.

There’s No Denying It…

There’s just something about Ashley…

Thank you to the amazing Rich Burdett for the photos and our fabulous make up artist Claire McClelland for making us look so pretty. Our press release went out today and our show is less than 2 weeks away!

There’s Just Something About Ashley
Saturday October 22, 2011
7:30pm

Annex Theatre
730 Bathurst St
Doors at 7pm

We’d love to have you there, and we’d also love for you to take a minute to ‘like’ our Ashleyx2 facebook page where you can stay up to date with everything we’re doing!

It’s so much fun to be an Ashley…

Into the Woods then out of the Woods...

And home before dark! I make this face once or twice in the show...

Watch for some epic sobs around :31 and :42...

We are sold out for tonight and tomorrow, but have shows on Saturday at 2pm and 8pm as well as Sunday at 2pm. Into the Woods is one of my favourite shows ever and I'm having a blast playing Rapunzel. Also excited to have some amazing friends in the audience all weekend.

Grab your tickets on the Stageworks website

I'm also squealing because as of today I only have 7 more sleeps til NYC part 2... Is there anything you think I should do while I'm there? I'm already seeing this and this (starring Bernadette Peters who has also starred in Into the Woods -- see the connection there?).

Remember that time I was in the Fringe?

I can't believe Fringe ended over a week ago. Between seeing 13 shows, performing in 7 of my own and spending a whole lot of time frolicking in the sunshine and mingling in the beer tent, I was one busy gal. While I may not have been posting on my blog, I was popping up in various places on the internet, including a piece on Fringe on Photojunkie's blog

and my beautiful & creative friend Stefne’s tumblr

(unrelated -- I've been reading lots of fashionista blogs lately and I want to add a weekly outfit post to my blog. Stay tuned!)

I feel so lucky to have seen some pretty fantastic shows and performances. Standouts included Kim's Convenience, Tiki Bikini Beach Paradise Party-a-go-go, 5th Element, Mickey & Judy, Ellamentary, Infinitum and Hypnogogic Logic. I saw 3 shows on both Fridays and managed to squeeze the others in amid the craziness. Between 2 performer passes, some advance purchases and some comps, I was a very happy theatre-goer. It was really amazing to see so much talent and ended up feeling very inspired by the fantastic work around me. If you missed Fringe or didn’t get to see all the shows you wanted, The Best of Fringe Uptown is happening until August 5th.

Cellar Hotel went well. We had a sold out show on the first Saturday and a nearly sold out house for closing. I received some sweet compliments on my performance and it was an honour to be onstage with such a talented group of people.

But to be honest, I was really thankful when it was over.

Working 2 jobs and doing 2 shows was really taking a toll on me. I developed a cold just before opening and I just found myself exhausted. As per usual when I'm doing a show, I didn't have much time for myself or groceries or sleep or working out. It was really nice to get back to all of those things once the show had its final curtain call.

I'm now only working 2 jobs and rehearsing for ONE show.

From August 18-21 I'll be playing Rapunzel in Into the Woods. I would love for you to come out and see this show, it is absolutely one of my favourites. And playing Rapunzel means I basically stand in a tower and scream as a blonde for much of the show. Why would you want to miss that!? You can get tickets here.

Summer seems to be about seeing shows, which is totally fine by me. I was lucky enough to see Next to Normal last week as it opened at the Four Seasons. What an incredible show with some ridiculously talented performers. I knew a few tunes from the show and the basic plotline before going in, but had no idea how close to home it was really going to be. I did a lot of crying and was lucky enough to be sitting between two of my best friends. It runs until Saturday and I would highly recommend nabbing tickets if you can. I was also really thrilled to see Ashley in A Chorus Line out in Brampton, have been trying to map out some plans to catch some Summerworks shows and need to get to Stratford ASAP.

That should tide me over till I'm seeing Bernadette Peters onstage on August 25?

Oh yes, I'm back in New York City in less than a month. The squeals have already begun...

Coming up on the bloggy -- my final NYC post and some fun summertime frolicking! Also really excited to have a new digital camera (mine died in NYC), which means there will be some foodie goodness pictures coming up.

How is your summer? Did you Fringe? Have you seen any good shows of late?

I Can’t Remain Quiet (Video of the Cabaret Included)

It started with a text message…

Ashley and I had been talking about putting on a cabaret for a few months and an innocent text message that I sent to her that read “I guess there’s just something about Ashley” became the catalyst for our show. It was that text that catapulted us into action and the planning began. Ashley and I have been friends since our musical theatre school days, but became really close after running into one another on the subway a few years ago. We have since worked on two shows together and have become one another’s confidantes in life, but especially in our performing careers. We started planning our show extensively while on vacation together this summer. We came back with two very long to-do lists, song ideas and some great story-telling material for the cabaret itself and got moving. We started working with our pianist extensively in September and worked our butts off to get the show together.

There’s a lot of amazing contemporary musical theatre out there that Ash and I were dying to sing. Composers like Kerrigan & Lowdermilk, Scott Alan, Jonathan Reid Gealt, and Kooman & Dimond are making beautiful music and telling amazing stories that need to be told and we were thrilled to have the platform to do just that. It was so fun to put together our set list with songs that showcased our voices and personalities, but also told the story of what it’s like to be an Ashley. This year has provided me with some pretty exciting performance opportunities. I didn’t think I could top the high that I had reached after meeting Sheldon Harnick whilst doing REX in Feburary or the experience of my first Fringe this summer, but putting together our cabaret was absolutely phenomenal. I felt so inspired, every single day, and it absolutely solidified my love for performing and being onstage.

Last Thursday I practically jumped out of bed, ready for our big day. After one final rehearsal we prepared to hit the stage. I was giddy.

We hit the stage and it was magical. We had a great audience of people from many different parts of our lives who were incredibly appreciative of all that we did. Ash and I had planned some little bits of banter which flowed smoothly (much to the audience’s delight) and our songs and harmonies were totally there. I left the stage at the end of the show on a total high. I was so proud of the work I had put out which was reciprocated by the audience’s reaction. The show was followed by a pretty amazing after party and I had a wonderful night mingling with our friends and supporters while dancing and indulging in the Ashleyx2 drink special. I left the party feeling excited, proud, giddy and most of all INSPIRED. The show reiterated for me that I need to be performing and often. So I’m working to make that happen.

In the meantime here’s a video of me singing “Quiet” by Jonathan Reid Gealt at the show.

It’s funny because I originally chose this song just because I loved it; It sat nicely in my voice, the lyrics were great and it fit right into the show. But once we got into rehearsals, the sentiment of the song started to resonate in various areas of my life and by the time I sang it on Thursday it had taken on a whole new meaning. Amazing.

I’m so thankful to have had such an incredible opportunity to perform so beautiful material with one of my favourite people. The show has left me feeling so inspired to perform and put myself out there and for the first time since musical theatre school, I truly feel ready to do so. Thank you to everyone who came and watched… and if you missed it, I’m sure it won’t be the last! I’m excited to see what opportunities the future brings…