I Know It's (Not) Today

You know what certainly wasn't today?

My latest show. 

Because that was July 26. 

It's now November. 

Oops.

I'll blame a crazy couple of months, commuting to Mississauga for work and a month of hummus, but better late than never, right?!

Putting together a show about the trials and tribulations (and hilarity) of my dating life ever since that time I was engaged was a ton of fun. The crowd was into it, and I had so much fun with them during the crowd participation bits, starting at the very beginning:

"How many of you knew me when I was engaged?"

A few hands were raised

"How many of you met me after I had been engaged?"

Many hands were raised

"How many of you have no idea who the f*$! I am?"

A whole table raises their hands

"Oh boy, you're about to learn a lot about me and we're going to have an awesome night"

Tara did an amazing job arranging the tunes, including a version of Adele's Rolling in the Deep which was prefaced with a discussion about break up songs. The conversation had been sparked on Twitter over the days leading up to the show and culminated in a bar-wide singalong of Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" after the show. Ah-mazing.

My own Jewish Yente even made an unexpected appearance during the show to talk about what SHE thought I should be looking for in a man. Unfortunately she seemed to have missed the mark a little bit, bringing up men who I had already dated and broke my heart, slept with a friend or were just kind of terrible. Nevertheless, it was sweet that she paid us a visit, even if her suggestions were kind of the worst. No hard feelings.

I talked about being the Grid's Dating Diaries cover girl (and the aftermath), being auctioned off for charity and how my shoes should have actually made an appearance at my wedding that never happened (and how symbolic it was that I decided to take them off two songs into the show).

We talked about nicknames for the people I've dated that my friends had made up and the audience had some great contributions of their own on that topic! It was fun and therapeutic to share some of the silly tales of my dating history and also realize the learnings that I've come to along the way:

1. Relax
2. Have fun
3. It's okay to stand on the precipice and dive right it. Just choose love, right?



I think the show had the potential to be bitter and angry, but that just wouldn't have been me. I have had some ridiculous things happen to me in my dating life, but I've also met some really neat people and learned a lot about myself and what I'm looking for (also, NOT looking for). I'm such an optimist and deep down a romantic at heart, so in spite of a handful of less than stellar experiences, some heartbreak and encounters with complete assholes, I've still continued to say yes to life and let serendipity run its course. And I've gotta say, I wouldn't have it any other way. Especially now.

As for the rest? At least I've got some great stories to keep friends (and strangers) entertained.

And I'm still smiling 3+ months later. Thanks to everyone who came to the show and for the Flying Beaver Pubaret for hosting Tara and I once again!

And special thanks to Corbin Smith for the photos from the show

I Know it's Today - My New Solo Show

Remember that time I was engaged?

In some ways it feels like a whole lifetime ago. I was in a very different place in my life and I often reflect on how much has happened since then. Going from being in a long term relationship for a significant portion of my early 20’s to being single was an outrageous shift. While I don’t talk about my dating life often on the blog, I do have a lot of fun sharing stories with my close friends and occasionally ranting or raving on the Twitter.

Who knew that dating could be so fun, hilarious, ridiculous, joyous, heartbreaking, frustrating and awesome? With that in mind, I decided that these experiences would be most accurately shared the best way I know how: in song.

photo by Chris Luckhardt -  www.chrisluckhardt.com

I Know it’s Today is my newest solo show with Musical Director Tara Litvack. The set list covers a neat mix of old and new musical theatre along with some great new arrangements of some pop/rock songs as well. The show will detail everything that’s happened since that time I was engaged and all the hilarity, tragedy and joy that has ensued including the incredulous ways I’ve met people in this city, my time as the cover girl of The Grid’s Dating Diaries issue and being auctioned off for charity.

And because clearly I don’t have enough material and it’s not enough to be surrounded by those I’ve dated thanks to social media, in the last two weeks I’ve been constantly running into people I’ve dated. I have no idea HOW this is humanly possible in a city the size of Toronto, but I’ll definitely be sharing some of those stories too.

The show takes place Friday July 26 at 7pm at the Flying Beaver Pubaret (488 Parliament St). Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door, and you can call or email Heather at the Pubaret for a table reservation for dinner. I hope you’ll join me on Friday night for I Know it’s Today and my perspective on what it’s like to be a single gal in Toronto!

If you were putting on a show about your dating experiences, what song would you sing and why?

A date with me costs...

As if it wasn't enough to be on the cover of The Grid's Dating Diaries issue, my Valentine's Day included being auctioned off for charity at Love a Heart.

I spent the evening running around The Hideout laughing and smiling and catching up with friends in a sparkly dress with fancy hair. So many of my favourite people were there for moral support

to join the ranks of those being auctioned off and take off lots of clothes

and host (and be generally all kinds of awesome)

I was one of the last gals to hit the stage. All nerves had worn off and I really just thought the whole thing was hilarious by that point. Shawn took great care in getting me auctioned off, and Shannon joined us onstage to say extra nice things about me. I ended up fetching $450 for the Heart and Stroke Foundation, which helped bring the total for the evening to more than $11,000 and that's pretty cool. Not to mention the fact that I get to go on a fancy pants dinner date with a handsome guy, all in the name of charity.

Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all?

Thanks to Chris Luckhardt for capturing some great photos of the night! 

That time I was on the cover of The Grid

February was a crazy, awesome, intense ride. The Life is Sweet project was so gratifying and kept me extremely busy amid the usual work/play. While I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day normally, this year it was a tonne of fun with a couple of really neat things happening in my world.

In early February I saw a tweet from The Grid (my favourite Toronto weekly newspaper) about a photo shoot they were having for their upcoming dating diaries issue. I inquired and decided it would be fun, so the week before V-Day, I found myself in a loft with about 50 Toronto singles mingling and getting photos taken! I ended up finding one person I knew (Karen, who I hadn't seen since we had done another photo shoot together two years before!) but had a blast meeting lots of new people who also weren't sure what to expect from the event.

Throughout the event we were encouraged to write something that we look for in a person that we're dating... I wrote assertive. And then later had a good giggle when Karen and I took a selfie right under where someone had written "doesn't take selfies" and "doesn't have a blog". 

Looks like it just wasn't meant to be with me and whoever those people were...

The day before the issue came out I got a message from a friend who had seen the cover of the new issue and told me that I was on the cover! Lo and behold, the next day my face was all over the city

It was kind of hilarious and flattering to get all sorts of messages and texts and instagram notifications about my face popping up everywhere. 

Yaw finds me... 

I even got a message from an ex-boyfriend stating that he didn't realize how many Grid boxes there were in Toronto until that week. I had to laugh. 

Shannon made me grab her a copy and then took this photo

Apparently my "move" is my laugh

I'm glad that I went to the event and it was definitely awesome to land on the cover. Also awesome? Sharing with the GTA that you're single by appearing on the cover of a dating issue and then disclosing that if you were a Muppet, you'd be Miss Piggy "because she wears dresses and squeals a lot"

And let's be honest, it was the ONLY suitable answer for me. 

More to come on my ridiculous V-Day week... 

Before You Date Me You Should Know…

I’m a gluten free, vegan, Weight Watchers Leader, holistic nutrition student with Crohn’s Disease. Okay so maybe those aren’t the FIRST words to come out of my mouth when I meet someone new… but unless you knew something about me before we started talking or went out for the first time, I’m sure that collection of facts would come up pretty early in the conversation.

Like when we’re making plans to go out.
Or talking about what I do in life.
Or even just choosing a restaurant.

And in all honesty, how do you come off telling someone all of those things without sounding just a little nutty? (Especially when you go on to tell them that you even write a blog about the whole thing??)

I always took for granted that Joey met me the week I joined Weight Watchers and embraced my changes in eating as they happened. In dating new people, it has been an interesting experience to get to explain all of these things to people without the same background knowledge.

How much is too much?

In my meetings I always joke that I tell everyone in the world that I’m on Weight Watchers. I have always been a very open person and I’m pretty transparent about the fact that I’m gluten free and vegan and that I make these choices as a result of having Crohn's. (heck, I write a blog about the whole thing, don’t I?) I recognize that not everyone is as open as I am, and that my candour might be a little much for some, but I like to think that if someone is going to want to date me, that they will embrace everything about me. And if not, their loss.

Communication is key.

Now you might not want to come out and tell the person within 4 minutes of meeting them that you’re trying to lose weight (or vegan or whatever), but you also want to be honest about who you truly are. Your personality is going to be part of the reason that they want to date you in the first place, right? So don’t act like you’re ashamed of losing weight or love of exercise (because you’re making a healthy change in your life!) or the way you eat (because it works for you!) or how you live your life (because you’re trying to be the best you you can be!) There are maybe some things that can be saved for date #2, 5 or 12 (I try to skimp on the details of my Crohn’s diagnosis…) but I strongly believe that communication is really important

So, um, what do you eat?

If I haven’t scared someone off with my list of things I don’t eat, I make some suggestions on places to go and so far I’ve found people to be very accommodating and willing to try new things.This is awesome, because I’m not going to want to date someone who doesn’t “get it” and badgers me into a steakhouse or an all-you-can-eat buffet because Fresh or Live or Lady Marmalade doesn’t seem like a good idea. 

Doing Weight Watchers? Maybe Jack Astors and the 51-Point “Grilled Salmon Provencal” might not be the best choice. Vegan? Barbarian’s steak house isn’t gonna work. Gluten free? No thanks on the all-you-can-eat-white-pasta. There are casual ways to make your opinions known and be confident enough to suggest places that will cater to your needs, so you’ll have one less thing to stress about on your date.

Now what?

So you’ve gotten past date #1.
You enjoy this person’s company.
Date #2 or 4 or 7 is on the horizon… what do you do?

Just be yourself.

In everything that I’ve done in my life, this is probably one of the greatest lessons that I’ve learned whether it be on a date, a job interview, an audition or in life in general. Your personality with all its quirks and nuances makes you unique and with the billions of people in the world (and 2.5 million people in Toronto alone) it is going to stand you apart from the crowd. If you’re hiding part of yourself because of how you think this new person might react, it will probably just come back to bite you in the butt, and why would you want to waste time hiding the “real you” whilst getting to know this new person anyway? If they’re worth your time, they will be understanding, making them even sexier than they originally appeared.

So before you date me, you should know that…

I’m just me.

Take it or leave it.

How have your lifestyle choices impacted your dating life? Single peeps – how do you tell new people about your dietary/food/etc. choices? Coupled peeps – how have your significant others dealt with any lifestyle changes you’ve made? What words of advice would you offer to anyone who is in dating land and disclosing things like losing weight, veganism or other lifestyle choices?