Making Space

And just like that summer is behind us, and we're heading into the fall. It feels like yesterday that it was the end of May and I had some time off before starting a new job and embarking on a new part of this journey. Time certainly does fly.

There are a bunch of things that I'm excited to write about that happened this summer - finishing my latest fitness program, travelling to Indianapolis and Montreal, and finding my groove in Toronto's east end once again. But first I want to talk about something a bit more meta, and the thing that's enabling me to write this post at all: making space.

I've had some big changes in the last couple of years, and this summer brought on its own unique transition. Within less than a month, I started a brand new job with a new company and then moved in with my partner. Getting that job offer was very exciting, but it also put a lot of other things into motion - giving notice and leaving my previous job, as well as giving notice at my apartment. Suddenly I went from lots of comfort and familiarity to a whole lot of transition and change.

And that transition felt like it lasted the whole summer! Every time I looked at the calendar I felt like there was something else coming up, whilst still gaining my footing in the day-to-day of my new job. I am so grateful for everything that was thrown my way, but it felt chaotic and tiring at times, and didn't leave me much space to find my new normal.

And now we're here.

Post Labour Day with those back to school feelings that leave me yearning for new school supplies and a fresh day planner. I finally feel like I've caught up with all of the changes and can just enjoy this new chapter of life that I've decided upon.

I can breathe.
I can enjoy this place.
I can take space for the things that bring me joy.
And be intentional with how I fill the space.

I've been doing some of these things naturally (prioritizing time for lovely friends, trying new recipes, practicing good self care) and others need to be a concerted effort, like practicing piano, reading for pleasure, and writing more regularly.

When I was working in my old job that so was so heavily connected to social media, writing and blogs, I didn't feel excited to come home and write. I was also focused on doing all sorts of social media activities related to coaching, and that always left "write new blog post" at the very bottom of my to do list. I've been using this blog as my online home for 10 years now, and over the years my posts have continued to dwindle in numbers. I've talked about changing that multiple times, but in this moment I see where writing fits in to my life and I'm determined to make it a priority.

So, hi.

The goal is for this post to be the first of more regular posts. I've made a list of things I'd like to write about and would love to hear from you what you'd like to see here. Fitness, health, lifestyle, travel, who knows what else - if there's something you'd like to read from me, let me know in the comments.

Photo by Ian Brown, Make up by Megan Fraser
Quote & image by Morgan Harper Nichols (I've been pinning so many of her quotes of late because they all resonate so deeply)

Toronto Fringe 2016

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The Toronto Fringe Festival is basically the second coming of Christmas for performers.

It's an amazing opportunity to see lots of shows, visit with friends, hang out in the Fringe tent, frolic in the sunshine and enjoy the arts and general merriment for 10 days. This year is slightly bittersweet as it's the last year that the Fringe tent will be in the Honest Ed's alley (since Honest Ed's is set to close and be turned into condos...)

I've had many good memories in the Fringe tent over the years! It always takes at least 30 minutes to an hour to leave because anytime you try, you wind up running into 10,000 people you know and it's just a fun place to socialize and chat with people who you don't always get to see. I live nearby, so I end up in the tent many nights after seeing shows just to have that fun social time. Even though I'm not performing in a show this year, it's still such a blast and something I really look forward to every summer.

The Fringe officially starts today and I've already got a handful of shows picked out to get this ball rolling! With 160 shows, it can be tough to start making choices about which to prioritize. Since shows can also sell out quickly, it's also great if you can set your schedule, and pick up advance tickets for anything that you're desperate to see.

There's lots of great lists floating around (including ones from Derrick Chua and Steve Fisher at Post City whose opinions I value) But here are some things I'm getting started with this weekend / grabbing my advance tickets for!

Dance Animal - Knowing a friend in the cast and watching Dance Raccoon do a monologue at a recent event has me completely sold. Comedy + dance + animals = absurd hilarity.

#MannequinGirl: the musical - I really enjoyed writer Elize Blue Musselwhite's fringe musical last year and the premise of becoming an internet sensation after being hit with a mannequin in the street speaks to the social media lover in me. Alyssa Minchillo is a heck of a talent and I think it should be really cute!

SexT - The conservative parents of Ontario have been livid over the province's new sex ed curriculum and from my perspective it's all been pretty ridiculous to watch unfold. This show has been developed with a bunch of teens and I love that they're bringing sex, consent, sexting and relationships, front and centre from their perspective.

The Pirate Queen of the Stars - I met Megan (who is in the show as well as producing it) years and years ago on an internet message board (true story) and we finally met last year in Toronto during Fringe. It's been amazing to watch her grow over the years as a human and as an artist, so I'm ultra excited for this show! I've been hearing bits and pieces of some of the songs over the last few weeks which has piqued my interest and I'm really looking forward to seeing it all come together. They've assembled an incredible cast of hilarious powerhouse performers and it's billed a sci-fi musical comedy - COME ON.

Other shows I'm looking forward to: Life After (I was part of a reading of this a few years ago and can't wait to see how far it's come. Britta Johnson is such a talent), Bright Lights (top notch cast + Kat Sandler = Fringe magic), Romeo and Juliet Chainsaw Massacre (so much happening and lots of great folks involved), The Fence (Johnson, Johnston and Wilde are incredible and I adored Summerland last year), Wasteland (Sex T-Rex is always awesome), Blind to Happiness (coming highly recommended!) and Echoes (again another great team with a new musical)

I'm sure there will be other shows that come and go onto my list as word of mouth starts to spread - which is half the fun. I can't wait!

If you'd like to follow along with my adventures, I'll be tweeting up a storm (@ashleydtl) and probably adding some snaps to my story (ashleydtl) likely with shenanigans from the tent!

If you're in Toronto over the next 10 days, I highly suggest you grab a program or download the app and support some amazing theatre! All ticket sales go back to the artists involved and be sure to take a moment to tip the Fringe.

What are you looking forward to this Fringe?

I'm ready for spring

I posted a photo on Instagram last night and my awesome photographer friend Chris Luckhardt commented that we need to do another shoot again soon. I then found myself going through photos that we shot last June and it made me long for spring and summer.

 

I guess I can't really complain, it's only April 4, but a big part of me just wants to ditch the heavier coat and hat and get back to walking home a few times a week and do more frolicking in the sunshine. I'm craving asparagus and berries and cherries and fiddleheads and peaches.

My birthday is around the corner and I distinctly remember there being a year where my birthday fell on Easter and there was actually a snowstorm. (please don't get any ideas Mother Nature, snow is not cool)

I'm happy that it's April. It's a good month. One of the best things about this month so far has been the launch of Meghan Telpner's new book, Undiet especially after it reached #1 on the Amazon chart!! So unbelievably proud of Meghan. We're going to be doing an interview this month as part of her virtual book tour to be posted in May. Reading the book has been a good reminder to twinkle, sparkle and shine!

 

I'm going to be channeling spring this weekend with some popsicle making for my girlfriends, a sweet lemon cake from Bunner's, an adorable new party frock and some awesome tunes from one of my favourite Toronto bands.

What are you doing to make it feel like spring?

Dresses & green cardigan - Gap 

Yellow cardigan - Banana Republic

Necklace - Tabula Rasa

All photos by Chris Luckhardt  

An Empire State of Mind - Labor Day weekend highlights

New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do

Now you're in New York... these dreams will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you

Let's hear it for New York...

I was so lucky to spend Labor Day weekend in my favourite place. Here are some of my highlights

1. Babycakes 

Always a highlight, that place brings me such immense joy. The decor. The selection. The sweet music they have playing. The adorable plates they serve your donuts on. It's all so charming. I had a caramel coconut chocolate donut and a cookie sandwich. Food swoon. 

2. High Line at sunset

The High Line is wonderful at any time of day, but add sunset into the mix and it's pretty much all kinds of amazing. 

3. Sleep No More

I had a very different experience this time around, but it was equally brilliant and inspiring and breathtaking. I saw things that I had seen the first time and saw a bunch of new things, corridors and rooms as well. It was awesome to experience the show with two people who had never seen it and spend time in the lounge afterward debriefing on what each of us had experienced. I had a beautiful moment at the end of the show with one of my favourite members of the cast, that made the experience that much more wonderful and intense. I must see it again. And so should you. 

4. Toronto friends who find you in your travels

So many of my Toronto friends were in and around NYC this weekend and I was delighted to be able to meet up with a couple of them. 

Rebecca and I are kindred spirits - redheaded, singing, gluten free, veg loving gals. We had a wonderful brunch in Brooklyn at one of my very favourite places and also got to experience Sleep No More on the same evening. She's a delight and it was awesome to spend more time with her. 

Also got to spend a very fun evening at Marie`s Crisis with my awesome friend (and musical director for the upcoming Ashleyx2 cabaret!) Tara. I got to meet her sister and her sister`s boyfriend (whose sister reads my blog - hi!) AND Jim Rash. Who is an Oscar winner who happens to be on Community. Just another night in New York with friends, new and old. 

5. Smiling, squealing and skipping, because you`re in your favourite city

Amazing eats. Coney Island. Grand piano concerts in parks. Epic wandering. Beautiful artwork. Awesome weather. Taking the subway. Central Park. Not getting lost. Until F trains turn into G trains. Fancy pants restaurants. Hunting for wifi. Getting excited about yellow tights and owl stickers. Times Square. Brooklyn. Wrinkly puppies. Belting out showtunes as the token soprano. Gushing to waitresses about how much you love the peanut butter cheesecake. Watching someone experience your favourite city for the first time. And that person being really awesome to share everything with. And only calling you a food picture Nazi once, when you forced him to take his cookie out of the wrapper so you could get a better photo. 

Absolutely feeling brand new and inspired. Gah, I love New York. 

I promise that more foodie details are on their way. I can't wait to post more pictures of deliciousness from some of my new favourite places! And what perfect timing that detox-ing is just around the corner. Have you entered the giveaway yet?

How was your Labo(u)r Day weekend?

My new answers to "What have you been up to lately?"

It's been interesting to run into people lately and answer the question "what have you been up to lately?" Rather than be able to default to my usual answer of "working" or "doing a show", I've had a wider variety of answers... 

including playing in the sandbox that is now in my sunroom (true story), attending weddings and wedding related events, frolicking in parks, art journalling and having silly photo shoots with my little sister (in unplanned matching outfits no less). I've been singing and auditioning and seeing great theatre. Ash and I have started to talk about our next cabaret (October!!!). I've been doing hot yoga and rekindling my relationship with the gym. I find myself spending more time in the kitchen, making yummy things to bring to BBQ's, popsicles and treats for awesome people. I've had a lot of me time and time to reflect on what is important in my life.

This isn't what I had originally planned for my summer, but when life changed a whole lot at the end of May, this is what it became, and I'm pretty okay with that. I'm really thankful that I'm going to be able to look back  fondly on the summer of 2012.

Coming up....
This awesome fundraiser - tonight!
Seeing one of my very favourite bands
A weekend trip to Ottawa for a bachelorette
Singing in a vampire opera
Ashleyx2 cabaret planning
More popsicles
More sunshine (hopefully)
And so much more frolicking

Ashlicles filled with Lemongrass, Apricots, Ginger and Love

I'm terrible at making rice.

It seems like a really silly thing to be bad at, but I swear I'm awful. The last guy I dated was always in charge of making rice if we were having it with dinner. In spite of this, these apricot rice pudding popsicles sounded so delicious that I decided to try and get over my ridiculous rice cooking apprehensions. 

Apricot Rice Pudding Popsicles 

(inspired by bon appetit) 

gluten free & vegan

1 cup non-dairy milk (I used unsweetened vanilla almond milk)

1 cup coconut milk

1 lemongrass stalk, outer layer removed, thinly sliced

1 tablespoon minced peeled ginger

1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise (mine came from sweet Lisa's travels!)

1/2 cup water

3 tbsp short grain rice

1/3 cup 1/4" pieces dried organic apricots

1/8 cup agave

Instructions
Combine non-dairy milk, coconut milk, lemongrass, ginger, and water in a medium saucepan. Scrape in seeds from vanilla bean; add bean. Bring to a boil; remove from heat, cover, and let steep for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, place rice and 1/2 cup water in a small bowl; let stand for 10 minutes (to soften and release some starch). Drain.
Strain coconut-milk mixture through a fine-mesh sieve into a saucepan. Add rice and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer (try to keep the stirring to a minimum so things don't get too starchy) until rice is very tender, 30-35 minutes. Let cool slightly.
Stir in apricots and agave. Transfer mixture to a large glass measuring cup to divide mixture among popsicle molds. You will need to spoon the rice and apricots into the molds. Freeze until firm and then enjoy.

Yields 4-6 popsicles depending on the size of your molds

So much deliciousness! I swear, coconut milk in popsicles is making my whole summer infinitely better. And the lemongrass and coconut (and mango I was eating while I was making them) reminded me of St. Lucia

Coming next week - NYC post (I promise!) plus all sorts of Fringe fun!

Minty Chocolately Goodness for the Long Weekend

An art store on Yonge is clearly down with the Summer of Popsicles

Love it! This week we had mint chocolate... 

I ran out of agave so I couldn't make the chocolately drizzle and instead I melted chocolate chips and added a chocolate coating. Not the most attractive picture of life, but it tasted delicious. My roommate and I even had one without chocolate, and they were just refereshing and minty with a wicked texture. So far I've been delighted with the results and my roommates' enthusiasm for my project. Next week: something fruity and awesome with a new recipe in the works. Stay tuned. 

Stoked for lots of fun in the city this week! Happy Pride! Happy birthday Canada! And Fringe starts on Wednesday (What are you seeing? I'm excited to blog about some great shows!!). And it's a long weekend... though given my schedule of late it just feels like some more great summer days ahead. 

Summer is oh so sweet... 

Where are the Boys, I have a Milkshake...

Yesterday I declared it the summer of milkshakes popsicles

I wanted last summer to be the summer of popsicles, but somehow it never panned out. We've had a bit of a heatwave this week and I've felt inspired to keep cool in as many ways as possible. especially since we don't have AC at home. I decided that awesome homemade popsicles would be the only way to go. 

I procured some popsicle molds at iQLiving (love that store), started up a pinterest board and the Summer of Popsicles was in motion. First up? Roasted strawberry and coconut 

So maybe roasting strawberries in 34 degree heat wasn't the best idea I've ever had, but to be honest, our house was so hot that I don't think it mattered, and it was only about 30 minutes of oven time. Roasting the strawberries with a bit of sugar made them so sweet and juicy and I used my immersion blender to create a delicious puree. Mixed with coconut milk and a bit of agave, 8 hours later (at midnight) one of my roommates and I were enjoying delicious popsicles

Oh. My. Gosh. They're so f-ing delicious. Creamy and strawberry-y and not too sweet. So easy to create, making them the perfect treat for summer. The worst part is waiting for them to freeze... I think these guys are up next. 

Yes, this WILL be the summer of the popsicle. And maybe they'll even bring the boys to the yard. That's if I want to share...

What's your favourite popsicle flavour? Post links to your favourite recipes / pins in the comments!

Ending my War with the Scale

Before I started Weight Watchers in 2006, I wasn't in the habit of weighing myself.

We never had a scale at home growing up and in my early 20's I would only occasionally peek at a friend's scale or check in at the gym if I felt inclined. Should I have been paying more attention? Maybe. But it wasn't until 2006 that I really started to think about my weight when a director asked me to lose 20 lbs for a role and then again when I returned from 3 weeks in Europe unable to recognize the girl that was staring back at me in the photos.

Doing Weight Watchers, becoming healthier and losing the weight that I did was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I stand by the fact that it absolutely changed my life and set me up for success in so many ways.

It did however create a bit of an obsession with the scale.

It's interesting that as a leader I was able to support so many members through their weight loss journeys and encourage them to look beyond the scale, especially when things weren't going as they hoped. I would often remind them that it wasn't just about the scale and that there were so many other factors that they could examine - health, eating habits, clothing sizes, fitness level, measurements - and celebrate as a measure of their success. While I definitely believed this myself, I, like so many others, had trouble always putting it into action.

Looking back at my weight loss journey, I can tell you that I was never really happy or satisfied. I was unhappy at my heaviest. I was unhappy at my thinnest (which came as a result of a lot of stress in my life). And at my fittest, I still wrote in my journal about wanting to lose 5 more lbs. I was notorious for stepping on the scale all the time, and far too often, the number that appeared would consume my thoughts and influence my mood. There was a point in 2011 where I nearly took a leave of absence from Weight Watchers because I was obsessing about my weight and didn't know how to turn things around. I worked through it, changed my perspective, but my weight still held great power over me.

This year I started to feel more comfortable with my body, though as part of my job with Weight Watchers, I needed to weigh in at least once a month and send my weight to head office. After I stepped down as a leader in March, I still intended to weigh in each month as a Lifetime Member, and did so just after I left. For whatever reason I wasn't able to weigh in in April or May and recently it dawned on me that it had been a long time since I had weighed myself.

I also realized that I felt really great.

Yes, I've been doing lots of great things physically and with my eating, but I believed that there was a direct correlation between how I was feeling and the fact that I had no idea what the scale had to say.

I bought a new bikini last week and posted the above picture on Instagram with a comment about the fact that I was feeling great in my own skin and that I hadn't weighed myself in a few months. The comments I received from people were amazing and unexpected; I only posted the photo as a testament to my own feelings of empowerment and happiness in this new state of being, but the idea really resonated with people, as did the quote on my mirror (get rid of the thoughts that don't serve you) and I'm pretty sure a bunch of boys just pressed like because I posted a photo of myself nearly naked. I'll take it. I feel awesome and appreciate that other people can get behind it too.

I plan to continue on this path without a scale for as long as it feels good. I've started to take some classes at Primal Movement, I'm getting back into the swing of things at the gym and I'm eating mindfully to nourish my body. These are all good things that make me happy, which is something the scale hasn't consistently done ever really. We'll see how this goes. I would like to get back to WW as a member at some point, but I think this break is doing me so much better than a monthly weigh in could. I'm done with giving so much power to a silly inanimate object.

Without the scale I feel lighter.

Does the scale help or hinder you? How do you stay on track without weighing yourself? What are your measures of success unrelated to the scale?

Food, Fitness, Friends and Follies on a Friday

TGIF took on a whole new meaning on my second day in NYC.  I started with a beginner class at Physique 57. I had read about Physique 57 on Gina’s blog and after doing a bit more research before my trip, decided that I really wanted to try it since it’s something that I’ve never seen offered in Toronto.

Based on the Lottie Berk method, Physique 57 is a unique fitness experience that targets all your trouble zones through pilates, ballet and strength based movements. I traveled to the studio on Avenue of the Americas and felt instantly at home and zen in the studio. The class uses a variety of props including ballet barres, playground balls, free weights, bands and mats, and the studios are carpeted in the participants don’t wear shoes.

This class kicked my ass.

I loved the use of all the props and ballet bar. The instructor was motivating and encouraging and did a great job at giving all the gals in the class individualized attention and corrections. Outside of some of the alignment and use of props, the moves are not difficult to learn, but are done in repetition that get your muscles working! I loved the focus on areas that I feel need more work, like my hips, thighs and mid-section.
After climbing the 4 flights of stairs back to the hotel room (remember when I said I knew this would be a bad idea at some point?) I walked down to the 3rd and 14th street to meet up with the lovely Sheryl!!

We had such a blast the last time I was in NYC, I was so looking forward to hanging out again. We hopped on the MTA to make my first ever trip into Brooklyn. Sheryl wanted to take me to a vegan bar called the Pine Box Rock Shop, but when we arrived at 2pm we discovered that they didn’t open until 4 and weren’t even willing to make exceptions for two gorgeous vegan ladies. So, we changed our plans, and headed into Williamsburg to go to Champs.

Champs was awesome. Super cute decor, huge vegan baked goods, and a delectable brunch menu. I opted for scrambled tofu with tempeh bacon, salad and home fries. It was oh so good, especially after such an intense workout! Sheryl grabbed a giant vegan brownie

(she was still riding the high of her birth week) and the vegan french toast. Sheryl’s friend Amanda joined us for a little bit and I have to say that I drooled a bit over her giant cinnamon bun!!

After Champs, we headed back into Manhattan for some shopping adventures at Sephora and Trader Joe’s, although didn’t make it into the store due to the massive pre-Irene insanity. I love our friendship and our hilarious conversations and adventures. I look forward to more to come!! I love that I managed to score a free hug…

I did some wandering and shopping before heading up to Candle 79 for dinner. I’ve heard so much about Candle 79 and was incredibly excited to finally eat there! It was early, so I scored a sweet table by the window. I started with a delicious muddled berry juice to sip on along with some sparkling water. It was really refreshing but was kind of disappointed that they hadn’t perfected their own version of the “hurricane” in honour of the upcoming storm before I ordered.

For my main, I chose the Moroccan spiced chickpea cake. 

I wanted more spice/Moroccan flavour from the chickpeas, but everything worked really well together and my body was happy to have the good green stuff. I loved the restaurant had a separate gluten free menu and my server was incredibly cognizant of my gfree needs. I asked for his expertise when deciding on dessert. He advised me to choose the brownie, and said that it was going to be the best brownie ever and it honestly did not disappoint!!

Chewy, dense, chocolaty brownie with ice cream and deliciousness. It was like heaven!! I’m such a dessert gal and this was ah-mazing. I had such a great experience at Candle 79 and can’t wait to go back AND pick up their soon-to-be-released cookbook!

I had been waiting for 8pm on Friday night for weeks, as it meant that I was going to be entering the Marquis theatre to see one of my musical theatre idols, Bernadette Peters, sitting fourth row centre in Follies. I started tearing up while walking into the theatre. No joke.

The show was amazing. Bernadette was unbelievable. She embodied the most magnificent performance of everything I’ve been taught about musical theatre and crushed my expectations and hopes for seeing her onstage. Seeing her sing Losing My Mind was breathtaking. The rest of the cast were phenomenal and I really enjoyed the story and of course all of Sondheim’s music. I knew many of the songs and was enthralled from start to finish. I can’t wait until the cast recording comes out so I can re-live all of the wonderfulness.

As if I needed to top the whole night off, I managed to discover the stage door and had the chance to briefly meet Bernadette and have her sign my program. There were many people around so I didn’t accost her for a photo. In real life she’s a teeny tiny person, but has such a wonderful presence onstage. It was unforgettable and worth the wait.

Seriously, delicious vegan eats, a great class, adventures with a gorgeous friend and seeing my musical theatre idol in a brilliant show - What more could you ask for in a Friday?!

How about a photo opp with a group of sailors with a combined age of about 29 in Times Square?

Oh yes, that happened.