I Can’t Remain Quiet (Video of the Cabaret Included)

It started with a text message…

Ashley and I had been talking about putting on a cabaret for a few months and an innocent text message that I sent to her that read “I guess there’s just something about Ashley” became the catalyst for our show. It was that text that catapulted us into action and the planning began. Ashley and I have been friends since our musical theatre school days, but became really close after running into one another on the subway a few years ago. We have since worked on two shows together and have become one another’s confidantes in life, but especially in our performing careers. We started planning our show extensively while on vacation together this summer. We came back with two very long to-do lists, song ideas and some great story-telling material for the cabaret itself and got moving. We started working with our pianist extensively in September and worked our butts off to get the show together.

There’s a lot of amazing contemporary musical theatre out there that Ash and I were dying to sing. Composers like Kerrigan & Lowdermilk, Scott Alan, Jonathan Reid Gealt, and Kooman & Dimond are making beautiful music and telling amazing stories that need to be told and we were thrilled to have the platform to do just that. It was so fun to put together our set list with songs that showcased our voices and personalities, but also told the story of what it’s like to be an Ashley. This year has provided me with some pretty exciting performance opportunities. I didn’t think I could top the high that I had reached after meeting Sheldon Harnick whilst doing REX in Feburary or the experience of my first Fringe this summer, but putting together our cabaret was absolutely phenomenal. I felt so inspired, every single day, and it absolutely solidified my love for performing and being onstage.

Last Thursday I practically jumped out of bed, ready for our big day. After one final rehearsal we prepared to hit the stage. I was giddy.

We hit the stage and it was magical. We had a great audience of people from many different parts of our lives who were incredibly appreciative of all that we did. Ash and I had planned some little bits of banter which flowed smoothly (much to the audience’s delight) and our songs and harmonies were totally there. I left the stage at the end of the show on a total high. I was so proud of the work I had put out which was reciprocated by the audience’s reaction. The show was followed by a pretty amazing after party and I had a wonderful night mingling with our friends and supporters while dancing and indulging in the Ashleyx2 drink special. I left the party feeling excited, proud, giddy and most of all INSPIRED. The show reiterated for me that I need to be performing and often. So I’m working to make that happen.

In the meantime here’s a video of me singing “Quiet” by Jonathan Reid Gealt at the show.

It’s funny because I originally chose this song just because I loved it; It sat nicely in my voice, the lyrics were great and it fit right into the show. But once we got into rehearsals, the sentiment of the song started to resonate in various areas of my life and by the time I sang it on Thursday it had taken on a whole new meaning. Amazing.

I’m so thankful to have had such an incredible opportunity to perform so beautiful material with one of my favourite people. The show has left me feeling so inspired to perform and put myself out there and for the first time since musical theatre school, I truly feel ready to do so. Thank you to everyone who came and watched… and if you missed it, I’m sure it won’t be the last! I’m excited to see what opportunities the future brings…

There’s Just Something About Ashley

This week is epic and I’m absolutely thrilled.

Today I’ll be in school, then in rehearsal then heading to Curtains Down for a little open mic fun and promotion of our cabaret.

On Tuesday I will spend the day working, preparing and rehearsing for RENT in the evening.

On Wednesday I have a VERY BIG audition that I’m super excited for.

Thursday is the day I’ve been waiting oh-so-patiently for…

Exciting days ahead!!

And proper blog entries to come… I promise!!

Veggies, Leaders And No Sleep In Sight

This weekend was epic!

It was my second year of attending the Vegetarian Food Fair in Toronto and this year I was even busier. On Friday I hung out with Meghan Telpner at her booth chatting up her classes, tutorials and retreats in St. Lucia. We had a lot of fun in our pink aprons and I felt right at home amongst all the flowers in her booth! It was nice to meet so many new people and share my experiences in Meghan’s classes. Our beautiful friend Nicole was there as well and together we ran off to score some goodies from the über cute guy at Vega (whose Shake & Go chocolate smoothie I’ve been really enjoying) and Living Libations, as well as find some dinner. 

Similar to last year, I was truly disappointed by the lack of yummy options for dinner. There were lots of yummy treats and samples, but many of the vendors in the food tent were serving more fried and complicated tofu dishes that really didn’t appeal to me. Cruda Cafe was originally supposed to be a part of the show, but sadly they cancelled. With all of the amazing vegetarian, vegan and raw restaurants that we have in the city, I think it would be awesome for more of them to have a presence at the Food Fair (especially since it’s touted as being North America’s largest!). All of that being said, we decided to get some Mexican food It was okay. There was rice, cactus salad and a tofu/corn/something mix. It was kind of pricey, but filling and I learned my lesson for the following day.

I sadly missed Meghan’s demo on Saturday afternoon (but you can check out all the recipes on her blog!) but showed up just in time to catch the flurry of people around 12:30.  I ended up bringing lots of food with me and definitely did not go hungry. Lots of fruit, almonds plus a great salad of romaine, peppers, onions, avocado, black beans, hemp seeds and pumpkin seeds with a little bit of salsa. It was awesome!!

I traded in my fuchsia apron for a beige one with a SFTE logo as I was at the Sweets From the Earth tent selling delightful vegan baked goods. I love their gluten free line and had the pleasure of testing a brand new gluten free vegan chocolate cake!! I forgot to take a picture of that or anything on Saturday really. I talked to so many people and sold so many cakes, cookies and squares that it was all really a blur. It was non-stop from 1 to 9 and I was just wiped by the end of the day. On Sunday I had the pleasure of attending a giant Weight Watchers meeting with many of my colleagues including my two lovely Lindsays. It was great to connect with others who are passionate about their jobs and helping others lose weight!! Lindsay won an award for her meeting and our row was definitely the loudest, cheering her on and ensuring that she was commended for her team’s success. So so proud of her.

I felt like a zombie by the end of the day and after a wee nap I made myself a simple but delicious bowl for dinner. Mmmmm quinoa with swiss chard, baby portabellas and tempeh sautéed in garlic & ginger with tamari, pickled ginger and sesame seeds. It was a delightful end to the weekend!

This month is going to be insane, but I am so excited about everything that is to come! I’m back to school today and looking forward to getting back into some sort of routine whilst rehearsing for 2 shows, a big audition and doing all my usual stuff as well.  Where did the summer go?

How was your weekend? Did you get to the Vegetarian Food Fair? What were your thoughts?

Living the Width

“I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it.  I want to have lived the width of it as well”. 

~Diane Ackerman

"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth."

~Evan Esar

A few weeks ago one of my Saturday morning members shared the sentiment of these quotes with my meeting and everyone in the room just nodded and clapped in agreement. I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept of late, and I’ve been unknowingly working to apply it all summer.

To me, living the width means savouring the present moment. I have been so blessed this year to be living the most amazing life I know how. While I have had some challenges, I couldn’t be happier with everything that surrounds me each day. When I originally decided to go to school, I didn’t think I would be starting until this September. I think back to my frame of mind last fall, and cannot imagine having had to wait an entire year to begin school!! I think I would have lost my marbles and been incredibly unhappy. Starting school in January was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I don’t know how I ever could have done things differently. It feels so great to be living the life that I want to live and doing so many things that I love. Between Fringe-ing, cottage-ing, picnicking in the park, singing, frolicking in the sunshine, meeting new people or just reading a good book sprawled out at the top of the Riverdale hill, I’ve had a pretty brilliant summer. I feel as though I’ve been living the width of each spontaneous moment and for the first time in a very long time, I’ve been able to actually enjoy summer, rather than be stuck at a desk 9-5. It has truly been a gift.

Living the width of your life also involves listening to your heart. I’m a go-with-my-gut kinda gal. Sometimes this gets me into trouble, but it’s always the right thing to do. It’s so easy to over think/over analyze any situation. This year has taught me that in my heart I know what I need to do, and it’s just about being brave enough to take a leap of faith and actually do it.

While we can positively impact the length of our lives through the choices we are making, it is absolutely up to us to live for the moment and expand the width as well. Every day is a new opportunity to do something great and enjoy the wonderful gifts that life has to offer. I am thankful for this amazing summer that I have had, and look forward to continuing to live the width of my life well beyond 2010.

What does living the width of your life mean to you?

When Life Sends You Lemons, Kiss Goats

Yesterday was not one of my best days. It started off well:
Woke up around 9:00.
Made a smoothie (banana, blueberries, spinach, soy, spirulina)
Biked to the gym.
Went for a 30 minute run & BodyFlow class.
Biked home and prepped lunch for my picnic in the park with Lindsay.

So far so good, right?

Lunch was brilliant. I made rice paper veggie wraps and carrot slaw with mango chutney dressing. Lindsay brought an amazing quinoa tabbouleh. I wasn’t having a great day emotionally and Lindsay and I had a pretty intense conversation about life, habits, body image and all kinds of good stuff. I love her to death and am so happy to have such a beautiful friend to share my innermost thoughts with.

When I got home, I noticed that there was a piece of mail waiting for me on the dining room table. Something told me it was the letter that I had been waiting for over the last couple of weeks. In June I applied for the UCBeyond Scholarship.

UCB Canada, a division of UCB Inc., is dedicated to creating unique programs and tools to aid Crohn’s disease (CD) patients in reaching above and beyond the boundaries of their disease and fulfilling their educational ambitions. This award is a one-time scholarship of up to $5,000.00 CAN. In 2010, eight (8) scholarships will be awarded to individuals diagnosed with CD.

When I had learned about the scholarship, I was jumping for joy. $5,000 would cover the remainder of my tuition and books for school and would relieve me of a great deal of financial stress. It seemed like an amazing gift from the universe and I was determined to win. It was a fairly extensive application but I gathered all of the necessary components, including 2 fantastic references from 2 trusted, influential people who I have worked with very closely.

“Ashley has turned the challenges she faces with Crohn’s into opportunities. She takes a passionate and enthusiastic approach to all that she does, while ensuring that she stays true to a message of ‘Crohn’s won’t get the best of me, I will get the best of me.’ Rather than letting her symptoms slow her down, they have actually helped fuel her interest in nutrition – a subject she is now pursuing with formal education.”

“Ashley carries with her a dynamic energy and charisma that is absolutely infectious. Her personal story is one of the most inspiring I have come to know. After overcoming a challenge with her weight, to then be diagnosed with Crohnʼs disease, might be enough to discourage anyone that the path to health could be found through healthy eating. Ashley however, believed that the changes she had already made, only prepared her to go a step further and through her efforts and attitude is living symptoms free.

Simply helping herself, would not fit with Ashleyʼs inherent generosity and giving nature. It took much strength, confidence and bravery to leave her place of full-time employment to embark on her formal nutrition education. She made the transition with, what I have come to know, in her normal fashion- with spark, enthusiasm, dynamism and unwavering commitment.”

I got the information required from my school, gastroenterologist and worked really hard on my one page essay, telling my story of diagnosis, treatment, and new life. I felt confident sending in the application and was anxiously waiting to hear back from the committee sometime in mid August.

Well yesterday was that day. And I didn’t win one of the 8 scholarships. I was speechless.

I had been thinking nothing but positive thoughts about the scholarship; I was so proud of my application; I had so many amazing people supporting me, but alas it was not enough.

After a lot of crying and hugs from Lindsay and my roommates, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from the world for awhile. Sometimes I just need to do that, but instead I remembered that wallowing really isn’t my style and that Lindsay wouldn’t care if I cried for the entire duration of our walk. So we walked and ended up in Riverdale Farm.

As much as I had wanted to hide from the world for a little bit, the walk, sunshine, adorable animals and amazing friendship was exactly what I needed. We continued our walk all the way to the Annex where I met up with other friends and ended up having a great evening, despite how I was feeling on the inside.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset about the scholarship. It would have taken away some definite financial stress and enabled me to continue moving forward without having to worry about tuition or books, making my life a little bit easier. That being said, I know that it’s not the end of the world and that I will continue to “keep on keepin’ on”. I was going to go to school without the scholarship so I’m confident that I’ll figure it out. I’m constantly thankful for this amazing life that I’m living, and you really can’t put a monetary value on that.

This morning I reread my scholarship application, and I’m still really proud of all the work that I put into getting to where I am today:

While there have been moments in my life where my disease has been an issue, it has been more of a blessing than any sort of misfortune. I feel that I have struck a beautiful balance of things in my life that I love (nutrition, helping others and performing), and I now feel healthier than ever. By writing about my experience on my blog and through my role as Honorary Chair, I have been able to share this inspirational and uplifting story of health, balance and happiness with others. My education in holistic nutrition is going to empower me to inspire and help even more people, and this scholarship would allow me to do that without financial concern. My life has changed instrumentally since being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have worked incredibly hard to get to where I am today, and look forward to what the future holds for me.

Scholarship or not, I’m truly excited for the future.