Aiming to Thrive - The Evolution of my Diet

Photo by Nicole De Khors from Burst

Since beginning my weight loss journey in 2006, my diet has been in constant evolution.

I first started by cutting out the crap, cooking more and eating more fruits and veggies. Eating healthier was an integral stepping stone for doing an elimination diet to help manage my Crohn's (and within two weeks being symptom free) and then in the summer of 2009 going vegan.

And for a long time, being gluten free and vegan was a great thing for me. I felt healthy. And symptom free. And happy. It felt like the right diet for me and was easy to maintain.

And then I started to question whether my diet was still the most optimal. With health being the primary focus of my transition to gluten free veganism, I wanted to ensure that I was still thriving. I was confident that I was making healthy choices and was nutritionally balanced, but I just started to wonder if it was still entirely right for me. I wasn't feeling awesome all the time and started to doubt that I was giving my body everything it needed with the foods that were available within my dietary choices.

When I was in St. Lucia last year, the doubts started to creep in even more. Some big conversations about maintaining a gluten free vegan diet that was also lower on the glycemic index and giving my body what it needed in times of stress made me feel like I was suddenly at a tug of war with myself. It felt so awful because being vegan had become such a big part of my identity and I wasn't sure that I was ready or willing to give that up. It was no longer just about the food.

It somehow felt wrong to be doubting my choices, but rationally I knew that I needed to do what was right for me. My diet was in constant evolution based on how I was feeling and the information that I had about nutrition, but this felt bigger than that. With all that I had learned and believed about being vegan, could I fathom the thought of changing that?

I knew that I didn't want to go back to eating meat again - it didn't feel like the right decision for my body / digestive system and the ethical side of veganism / vegetarianism just made that a no-go for me. Cow dairy was also a no-brainer as I believe that it was a huge contributor to my Crohn's symptoms and I felt so much better without it.

With all of this to consider, the support of my fellow retreat-goers and a heart to heart with Meghan, one morning I had some eggs with my breakfast. Eating eggs after not doing so for three years felt very foreign and bizarre, but following the meal I felt really good. I bought my first carton of organic, free-range eggs when I returned from St. Lucia and started having scrambled eggs with salad and veggies a few times a week for breakfast.

And I started to feel like I was thriving again.

I felt energetic and stopped feeling faint from time to time. My hair became glossier and thicker. I felt good about the choices I was making with the types of eggs I was choosing and was happy to have some more variety in my diet. It was the right decision for me and where I was at. It's been about a year since transitioning to gluten free, dairy free vegetarianism and I feel awesome. I have vegan meals probably 75-80% of the time, with some eggs and goat/sheep dairy thrown into the mix. The added protein and variety has agreed with me.

The hardest part of this change for me has been coming to terms with the fact that I was no longer vegan. I wondered if I would feel hesitant to tell my vegan friends, or change my position among the community. I removed references to being vegan in all of my social media platforms and slowly started to embrace my choice and share it with people along with my rationale. Most people were very accepting and with those who weren't, I reminded myself that it was my life, my choice and most of all my health.

In the past couple weeks I've read a couple of really interesting blog posts from prominent vegans who have changed their diets. Both Kristen Suzanne (from Kristen's Raw) and Alex Jamieson have written detailed accounts of why veganism was no longer right for them, which compelled me to write this post. The reaction from the vegan community regarding both posts has been interesting, heartening but sometimes sad to read. I applaud both women for speaking so candidly about their decisions and have done the research to make the choices that are right for them and their families.

I love what Michelle and Lori had to say about changing and evolving diets in this post, and I truly agree with their sentiment that there is no perfect diet. I don't believe that there is one-size-fits-all diet for every person on the planet, nor do I believe that others should try to dictate or condemn the dietary choices of others. It's an incredibly personal decision, and at the end of the day we should try to make conscious, informed decisions about what is right for us and what will help us best to thrive.

And that's what I intend to continue doing in my gluten free, dairy free, whole foods focused vegetarian way.

In With Love, Out With Fear

“We stop breathing when we think things are too hard”

Oh shit. I’m totally not breathing.

I found myself in a really crowded yoga class last night and I just couldn’t get out of my head no matter how hard I tried. It’s been a busy week at work with my new boss starting (she’s pretty awesome) and a million other things going on. I’m still recovering from Vegas (more on that soon) and a bunch of silly little things were getting the best of me. The tears started within the first five minutes of class and I found myself wishing that I was back in St. Lucia, staring at the ceiling of the barn where we had our yoga and meditation practice every morning.

While thankful I was in a yoga class at all, 1,000 thoughts continued to swirl through my head and I definitely was not breathing, maybe because I was trying not to cry too much. I think it was all the stress and worry just flowing out of me. And then I was reminded of my familiar mantra “in with love, out with fear” and took a step back to really reflect on that.

The uneasiness and worry and unnecessary little stresses will pass, I know that.

Goodbye fear.

I have so much love and so many amazing things to be thankful for… wonderful people, great news on Tuesday(!!), a stellar weekend planned, a bunch of auditions… the list goes on.

We all have cranky days and yesterday I had one. I’m not quite sure why. But today I’m focusing on all the love and awesome stuff and leaving the silly, crummy, negative crankiness behind.

And when all else fails, I’ll just imagine that I’m back in St. Lucia.

Nourishing My Tummy in St. Lucia

Travelling to another country with any sort of dietary restriction can be a challenge, but going on a retreat with Meghan meant that I knew I would be taken care of 100%. I could probably go on about every single meal that I ate at Balanbouche, because Tania and Laila (who I went to nutrition school with!) took the most amazing care with every meal that we ate, but instead I’m going to give you the highlights.
 
Warning: Expect to feel hungry, curious and envious by the end of this post.

Green smoothies that just kept getting greener

Meghan definitely introduced me to the joy that is the green smoothie, and Tania made sure we got our daily dose of greens nearly every morning. The smoothies all week were delicious and filled with unexpected combinations of fresh organic greens and herbs from the nearby farm, coconut, aloe, garlic and many surprises. This incarnation included greens, parsley, cilantro, garlic, avocado and oj. Wonderfully refreshing and the perfect start to our brunches.

Fresh tropical fruit, picked less than 50 meters away

Our mornings always began with wonderful tea and fresh fruit. Bananas, papaya, coconuts, citrus and mangoes that put any fruit that I’ve eaten in Canada to shame. The mangoes were quite possibly one of the most delicious things I’ve ever put in my mouth. Whenever we walked to the nearby beach I would enlist a tall person to pick starfruit for me, which had the most amazing combination of sweet and sour. I could have probably just been a fruitarian all week and have been the happiest girl on the planet.

Okra spinach soup

Have you ever made okra at home? I sure haven’t. I had nothing against this often neglected southern vegetable, I’ve just never really thought much about it nor have I had an epiphanies on what the heck to do with it. This soup changed my mind and I really need to give okra some more love. It was brilliant, made creamy with coconut milk (as many things were) and enhanced with garlic and some simple herbs. Oh so delicious. Going to make and tweak Meghan’s version in the future and show my love for okra…

Laila’s cocoa pancakes

Laila still owes me the recipe for these (hint, hint) but I know that she used a mixture of buckwheat, brown rice and legume flours. Some might be sceptical of a gluten free vegan pancake, but these little guys were out of this world. Paired with a cacao sauce and mango sauce (pureed mango with lime), I couldn’t get enough!! I’m running out of words for delicious, but these absolutely were. Can’t wait to make them at home for an extra special breakfast treat.

Cassava

Prior to St. Lucia I don’t think I had ever heard of cassava, but little did I know I had been eating it for quite some time as tapioca. It’s a root vegetable and in St. Lucia it is often made into this amazing bread that is kind of like naan. It was all kinds of awesome. Tania also made it into a pizza crust for us one day, and it may have been the best gluten free pizza I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to make this and blow other people’s minds with its awesome flavour and texture.

Green banana salad

Similar to potato salad, but much more delicious and not as heavy with green bananas replacing the potatoes and coconut milk adding creaminess. Totally changed my opinion of bananas and reminded me that they don’t just have to be a sweet fruit!

Amazing teas

It’s no secret that I love tea… so it was kind of heaven to experience wonderful, fresh teas from many locally grown ingredients including hibiscus, lemongrass, turmeric, ginger and cacao. Every tea was such a delight, and I brought back a couple cacao sticks so I can make it at home to remind me of St. Lucia.

Cacao Seed Truffles

Cacao, almond butter, chia, maple syrup, vanilla and rum – do I really need to say much more? Bonus points for the presentation in the cacao pods.

Special mention go to: the banana flambé, the spiralized cristophine, the wonderful porridges, the vibrant salads, the plaintain sushi, the chilled cucumber soup and anything seamoss related. Oh. So. Good.

The food at the estate continually blew me away and I’m glad that I’m not committed to picking just one or two favourites! While the objective of the trip was for my soul to be nourished, my tummy was definitely nourished as well! More to come on some of the amazing superfoods that we enjoyed whilst on the island!

If you’re looking for some more travel food porn, be sure to check out Lisa’s blog post discussing the best of the best amid her travels through India, Bali, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand and Hawaii

What’s the best meal or food you’ve experienced while travelling?

10 Things I learned Whilst Nourishing My Soul In St. Lucia

1. Everything will be just fine

I was so anxious the day before I left for St. Lucia. I woke up around 4:30am, and wasn’t able to get back to sleep and actually found myself crying. I wasn’t worried about the trip, but I was freaking out about all the travel leading up to my arrival in St. Lucia (thanks to my friends at Expedia and Delta, my flight went Toronto – Minneapolis – Atlanta, spent the night in Atlanta before flying to St. Lucia) I led two WW meetings in the morning before having a driver pick me up to take me to the airport. Little did he know, but that man calmed me down. We talked about everything but my trip really, and I arrived at Pearson feeling happy, calmer and excited. I was on my way to St. Lucia, how bad could things really be?

2. It’s a good thing to shut down

There was a big part of me that wasn’t sure how well I was going to deal with being without being connected to my world, but it was truly amazing. No iPhone. No Twitter. No Facebook. No email. Nada. It was incredibly freeing to be without my phone, only using it to blast tunes while I was in the shower in the mornings and to do a little bit of texting towards the end of the week when I was really missing my friends. I loved living in the moment and enjoying every single second that I was in St. Lucia.

3. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, SPF 60 is my friend

I am a pale gal. I did not want to burn on day one in St. Lucia and spend the trip grimacing in pain as my skin turned a lobster shade. I accomplished this goal with the help of some SPF 60 and an amazing roomie who supported me in its application. Win. Don’t bother laughing at my non-tan, because I’m happy about it.

4. Meghan Telpner is one of my heroes

It’s no secret that I’m a huge Meghan fan. I found Meghan’s blog very soon after being diagnosed with Crohn’s, enrolled in her cooking classes and she soon became a huge inspiration in my life. She was the person that I needed to meet and St. Lucia in 2012 was absolutely meant to be. I’m so thankful for her friendship, inspiration, guidance, encouragement and love, not to mention all the giggles that we share. The trip and Meghan’s talks just reinforced for me how far I’ve come from the time that I was really sick. I am that I’ve taken this journey to health over the last 4 years and that I’ve been able to lean on Meghan along the way.

5. Just breathe

Even when there’s a cockroach on your toothbrush. Seriously.

6. In with love, out with fear

I heard this in a yoga class once and the sentiment has stuck with me and it’s something I often meditate on. It’s incredibly freeing to rid yourself of fear and let love in. I reminded myself of this each morning during meditation and it had a profound impact on my mental state.

7. The only constant is change

I knew that St. Lucia was going to change my perspective on things, but I didn’t anticipate exactly where those changes were going to come into play. After some thinking, dreaming, soul searching and pep talks, I walked out of St. Lucia feeling inspired and armed to make some changes in my life. Not crazy “I’m-quitting-my-job-ending-all-relationships-cutting-people-off-total-180” kinda changes, but ones that make a lot of sense for where I’m at in my life right now. I feel grounded, calm and happy to put these changes into effect as the weeks and months go on. Stay tuned.

8. I have a pretty sweet life

While I’m ready to be making some changes in certain areas of my life (and in some areas have already started to make some shifts), I feel like I’m just doing some fine tuning. I’m in love with the life that I’m living and the people that I’ve chosen to surround myself with. St. Lucia solidified for me how awesome life really is and I came back feeling energized to continue enjoying every single moment. I was also so thankful to be in a place where I could leave my normal day-to-day and enjoy an incredible 8 days of sunshine, beauty, delicious food, new adventures and wonderful people.

9. Make it happen

On our final day at Balanbouche, Meghan did a workshop on making it happen. She guided us through a meditation that asked us to find our ideal day in our ideal life, and through a series of exercises, we determined steps to push past our barriers and harness our greatest and absolute potential. It’s great to have ideas, hopes and dreams, but it really comes down to making them happen and this trip inspired me to keep reaching and working hard to get to exactly where I want to be.

10. Twinkle, sparkle and shine

February is generally a very hard month for me. As I’ve already said, I came home from St. Lucia happy, calm, grounded, excited and loving life. People said I was glowing. While I usually pride myself on having a happy, positive demeanour, it felt so good to be coming back from my trip and starting the month in such a great place. I feel like the best possible me when I’m sparkly.

This is One Sparkly Soul

I’m back from St. Lucia feeling happier, lighter, calmer, sparkly, inspired and nourished. I can’t wait to share all of my adventures, learnings and excitement with you. I’m still going through the hundreds of photos I took, and jotting down lots of ideas on how to share everything here on the blog. Between the yoga, meditation, beaches, sights, people, inspiration, education and incredible food, it’s a lot to cover.

One of my roommates told me today that I was glowing, and I think it’s because I’m full of sunshine, love, happiness, joy and a whole lot of mangoes, coconut and green stuff. It was life changing and I am so thankful for the experience…