Sunday Diaries

How do you find new music to listen to?

When I was younger, I loved attending concerts, listening to the radio, and buying the CDs of the new artists I loved. (Yes, CDs. And cassettes before that when I was really young) Somewhere in the last 10 years I stopped actively discovering new music, and kept listening to stuff I had previously enjoyed. Even now, I still find myself listening to albums and artists that are familiar instead of seeking out new things to listening to. 

This weekend Paul and I went down a bit of a rabbit hole, and found ourselves listening to a lot of music from the Eurovision Song Contest. This kind of started after we watched the Eurovision Song Contest movie and started talking more about the actual Eurovision Song Contest. Eurovision isn't something that I've followed actively over the years (though my best friend Mel has spoken about it with great enthusiasm) and this meant we had a lot of learning to do. We listened to the winners of the contest over the last few decades, and also enjoyed a playlist of songs from the 2019 contest. 

Our exploration led us to learn about Dadi Freyr and the song Think About Things, which was Iceland's entry for Eurovision this year. I think this may be my new favourite song and I'm sort of obsessed with learning the dance moves! The contest/shows were unfortunately cancelled this year due to COVID-19, but that didn't diminish our enjoyment of this song, and the rest of the entries for 2020. 

While Eurovision may only be once a year (and some of the songs may not be my jam) I think I may have been converted to a fan of the contest, and may follow it more closely it in the years to come. For now, it gave me some fun internet research to do and a whole lot of new to me music to listen to (and dance moves to master).

NXNE 2014 favourites

Since NXNE ended on Sunday, I've seen a lot of posts about what people liked / didn't like / thought could be better / the end of the short-lived radius clause. I was lucky to win some wristbands from My Apollo (thank you!) and wanted to post some of my own highlights from the last week.

Donovan Woods
Corbin introduced me to Donovan Woods early in our relationship and I instantly adored Donovan's smooth voice and brilliant storytelling (and Corbin's good taste in music). I saw a tweet from Donovan during the festival saying that he was playing at the Dakota and I was stoked! The Dakota is one of my favourite small venues in the city and I was pleased to be able to see Donovan live finally.

I nabbed a seat right next to the stage and got to enjoy sweet tunes and Donovan's endearing and engaging stage banter including requests to ensure he drank enough water and a story about a song he wrote for a guy who had found out that his ex had gotten engaged through Facebook to try and win the gal back. He played a mix of old and new (mostly sad songs, to his own admission) and I really enjoyed the simplicity of his set: just him, his guitar and harmonica. He didn't play one of my favourites, The Coldest State, so I'll leave the video below because it's charming.

Autre Ne Veut

Autre Ne Veut was actually the artist I was most looking forward to seeing when I got my wristband. I've been a fan of Arthur Ashin's smooth vocals for about a year and have sadly missed his previous visits to Toronto. I had a much-needed giggle before the show after a terrible bicycle ride to the venue (more on that in another post) when the man himself tweeted back at me, making no promises for the show making it up to me for my terrible ride. Thankfully, he delivered! 

I really enjoyed his energy, onstage persona, killer backup singer and vocals. While I worry for the sake of his voice (there was a lotta yelling happening) I was enthralled by his set. Autre Ne Veut was followed by 'secret act' of the night Sleigh Bells and I left after a couple of songs because apparently 'noise pop' is more noise than anything else and I just wasn't into it (and apparently I wasn't alone)
tUnE-yArDs

I read an article about tUnE-yArDs and Merrill Garbus at the beginning of the festival and after getting a recommendation from a friend I decided to check out her set at Massey Hall. I'm so glad that I did because their set ended up being my very favourite thing I saw! Having Massey Hall as a venue is really awesome and provided a wonderful platform for Merrill and her band's energy. She recorded loops live, sang, clapped and drummed with another percussionist, guitarist and two back up singers/dancers alongside her. My new aspiration in life is to be a backup singer for Merrill. I'm not even joking. The whole crowd was standing by the second song, and she commented on everyone's polite Canadian nature when she was recording her loops for each track. It was an incredible performance that I'm so glad I got to witness and very cool to have discovered a stellar new-to-me artist. 

What were you faves from NXNE?

Birds of Bellwoods

Toronto is lucky to be home to to so many fantastic bands and music venues, and a few weeks ago I got to visit a new-to-me place to see a band with a brand new name. Habits Gastropub played host to the newly coined Birds of Bellwoods, featuring Stevie Joffe on mandolin and vocals, Adrian Morningstar on guitar and vocals, Kintaro Akiyama on Upright Bass and Backup Vocals, and Chris Blades on Banjo and Backup Vocals.

The night opened up with a trio of opening acts with the standout being Kenisha Humber. The gal has an incredible set of pipes and wowed the crowd with her vocal abilities and awesome vibe. I was so impressed and look forward to making a point to see her perform again.

The Birds of Bellwoods' set did not disappoint. There have been some changes in the band and I was stoked to see the addition of the banjo and upright bass; The dynamic of the four-piece certainly suits the folk sound that they've been honing. The four of them are solid musicians and bring great energy and talent to the group. Joffe's lyrics are heartfelt and often heartbreaking, giving you the sense that he is an old soul who has seen a lot in his time. Their harmonies are stellar and Adrian and Stevie do a good job at keeping the crowd engaged and appear to be having a ball whilst doing so. Their songs are charming and enjoyable and the crowd was with them every step of the way.

The boys have a gig coming up tonight at the Horseshoe Tavern at 9pm along with some residencies at Round Venue and Habits and are currently in the midst of recording an EP. I'm stoked to see how the band evolves now that they're a four piece and look forward to attending more of their shows in the future.

You can find Birds of Bellwoods all over the internet to keep up with their music and upcoming shows

Facebook | Twitter | Soundcloud

My interview with New Kids on the Block

Remember when I talked about the things I'd tell my 8 year old self?

Let's add this to the list: if I could go back and tell younger me that 20 years down the road I'd be interviewing Jordan Knight and Danny Wood of New Kids on the Block, I think I would have lost my mind completely.

And because I'm me, I told Danny and Jordan that fact. Jordan asked what I thought about it all now and I said that 29 year old me was still really flippin' excited.

And halfway through the interview they decided to follow me on Twitter. 

Danny also retweeted me, and suddenly I had a whole lot of new followers and a slew of BlockHeads (NKOTB fans) who were super stoked to read my interview. 

And Jordan nuzzled my face.

And Danny told me I had pretty eyes.

I seriously giggled for days about the whole thing. 

Amid the ridiculousness, we talked about their reunion, the annual NKOTB Boat cruise (the All Access New Kids Harem on the Sea as it was referred to...) the new album, 10, their upcoming tour with 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men and what it's like to still be doing this 20 years later with fans like me who remember the Step by Step days. It was seriously a surreal moment and I'm so thankful for the opportunity.

Head over to the ShawConnect music blog to read the full interview!

Thanks to Chris Cartwright for giving me such an awesome opportunity and Alexandra Gater for being my partner in crime and taking some sweet photos!

Missing You

It's Thursday night before my sold out show, Life is Sweet, Even in February. Tara and I had an amazing rehearsal with the band on Sunday and we had our final rehearsal on Wednesday evening. I'm so excited for the friends, family and supporters who will make up the audience and so thankful to all those who have been making donations to the CAMH Foundation in lieu of attending the show. The whole thing has been an intense process from start to finish but I can't wait to get it on stage tomorrow night.

It's strange because I feel like the one person missing will be my mom.

I'm thankful that my mom was able to see me perform numerous times as I was growing up. I had two tap and jazz recitals between the ages of 7 and 9 and 2 great roles in my elementary school musicals including Leah Ballerina in Clowns and Mrs. Claus in The Night the Reindeer Rocked. She attended countless choir and band concerts and I distinctly remember her being at Roy Thompson Hall when our choir performed there in elementary school. Truth be told, I don't think musical theatre or choral music was my mom's cup of tea, but I know that she was determined to support me in whatever I loved to do.

I've often thought about my mother's absence on opening nights or during runs of shows that I was particularly proud of. The first performance I think I officially dedicated to my mum was my graduating show at Randolph. The show was Into the Woods and I had been cast as Cinderella. I remember the first time I had to sing No One is Alone in rehearsal. Rosalie, who was also playing Cinderella had to go first because I was just sitting in the audience crying. Cinderella's story along with the lyrics to the song just hit so close to home and it really hit me in that rehearsal. Throughout the rehearsal process, I found myself working hard to utilize my own experience in my performance in a safe way.

Sometimes people leave you, halfway through the wood

At 21, her death still felt so close but it also felt as though she had already missed so much. I think coming to the end of college was another one of those realizations of all that she was going to miss. I was so proud to be cast in that role amid such a talented class and it helped to think that even though should wouldn't be there, my mom would have been really proud too.

This month I've felt closer to my mom than I have in such a long time. Through choosing the songs, reading her journal, talking about her with people who knew her and talking to people about depression, mental illness and suicide I've felt so connected to her. It's been 15 years since I've had the chance to talk to her or see her, but I've definitely felt her presence this month. The show includes a lot of songs that remind me of her and our particularly memorable years together and I think she would really like what we've put together.

My mom loved Diana Ross. Her music reminded my mom of my Uncle Tim who passed away when I was 9. This song almost made it into the show, but Tara and I decided on another Diana Ross track instead. It still comes up on my Life is Sweet playlist and I definitely think about my mom whenever I hear it. 

Doing the show has made me miss her a lot too. It's hard to feel close to someone who you know you'll never see or talk to again. Without her death there would be no show. But without her life there would be no me. Her life and death have made me who I am. And while I miss her everyday, I am truly thankful for all that her death has taught me. 

I'm so honoured to be able to pay tribute to someone who has had such a profound impact on my life in front of a sold out audience. Putting it together has been an unforgettable experience. While I'll be missing her infectious laugh and beautiful smile in the audience, I'm confident it's going to be an amazing evening and an incredible way to close off this very special month. 

I hope that somewhere I'm making her proud and reminding her how loved she truly was. 

Left Behind

I've been lucky to see Graydon James and the Young Novelists play numerous times here in Toronto. The first time I heard their song Left Behind, I kinda lost it. Anything related to suicide often has a deep impact on me, and the emotion in this song was no exception. The next time I saw the band play, they opened the set with the song and I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. Following that reaction, I felt compelled to talk to Graydon about his inspiration for writing the song. I appreciate that he was willing to share this song's story for Life is Sweet month.

 

Lisa told me about John's suicide, shortly after New Year's Eve a couple of years ago. I didn't know John very well -- I had been at his wedding with Lisa, mainly because she needed a ride and I like to dance at weddings. His suicide was a shock to both of us, but the main thing that I understood, as Lisa told me the story, were the gamut of emotions that she felt at John's passing. Sadness, of course, but also frustration that she hadn't seen it coming. And anger that John had given up, especially without truly discussing it with any of his friends.

I was transfixed by the idea that these huge, bewildering, and sometimes conflicting emotions among all of John's friends were the collateral damage from one person's decision to commit suicide. When I wrote "Left Behind" I tried to capture and convey all of those emotions, although any one of them is too much to really fit into a single song. I hadn't thought of suicide in terms of the life-changing event that it would be for all those who knew the person. It reminds me of the impact, often unknown or unforeseen, that we have on others.

John died alone, in his basement apartment bedroom, after blocking the door with towels and opening the valve on a helium canister. He went to sleep and he didn't wake up. I have no idea if it was a peaceful death or not, although it seems that John took pains to make it peaceful. The next morning his best friend got a priority delivery by courier. It was a note, written by John, explaining that he had committed suicide and that he would need his friend to make all the necessary arrangements for the disposition of his body and assets. I can only barely imagine what it would be like to get that note, or to be in John's position, with all the careful planning that it entailed.

It's hard enough thinking about the hardship, emotional turmoil, and personal pain that goes into the decision to commit suicide. If people could be reminded, somehow, that their actions will have ramifications for everyone they know, hopefully it would make them think twice. Or reach out and talk to someone, and realize that they have something that is worth living for: people who care about them.

Left Behind was included on Graydon James and the Young Novelists' third album, in the year you were born.