I’m Not Sorry There’s Nothing to Say

Friday, January 29, 2010

Photo by Matthew Henry from Burst

I’m always amazed when the Weight Watchers topic of the week corresponds with my life. You think by now I would have figured it out. I get the guide a month in advance, giving me the ability to peek ahead to the topics that are coming, but I guess at that time I can’t always relate to them nor do they account for unplanned events. I’ve been hesitant to write this post, but I feel like I need to get some stuff off my chest and my blog has been a good outlet for me and my readers have been incredibly supportive. (Thank you for that!!) It’s also a personal insight into emotional eating, which is this week’s topic at Weight Watchers. I also feel like I should explain why I’ve been pretty distracted lately (aside from the fact that I’m still growing accustomed to my new life)

Joey and I broke up. I don’t want to get into the details of it, but we’re no longer together. I’m sad, and feeling a little lost, but recognize that it’s the right thing for us. I am grateful that we were together for the last 3 & 1/2 years; he’s really been a huge supporter of me in everything I’ve done.

I haven’t had to deal with the emotions of a break up for quite a long time now, so the feelings are unfamiliar to me. It’s times like this that it’s really easy to turn to food due to feelings of sadness, depression, anger or loneliness. My response has actually been to do the opposite and I can’t say that I was eating a lot over the last couple of weeks. I’m slowly getting back to normal now that the constant feeling of anxiety and sadness is gone, but it’s definitely taking time

It’s really scary to me that I, knowing all I know and am learning about food and nutrition, would deal with my emotions in such a way. To my defence, I didn’t feel like eating too much after getting out of the hospital (although I believe that my infection probably had to do with the emotions I was feeling too, but we’ll leave that for another post someday) but while things were in limbo and being discussed I did not feel hungry, nor did I feel like eating. I actually felt like like I was in a constant state of nausea, and in that state food did not appeal to me.

I feel so blessed to have amazing friends around me to support me through this difficult time (and in some cases shove delicious tropical smoothies down my throat) These beautiful gals have listened to my feelings, given me a shoulder to cry on and have pushed me to take care of myself.

Part of the recovery from emotional eating (or non-eating) comes from finding non-food ways to deal with your emotions. Some of the things that I’m going to work on this week is getting back to eating and cooking normally, getting back to the gym (attending a BodyFlow class at lunch today) and doing some nice things for me (like booking a massage and being kind to myself in rehearsal for my show) I’ve also been pretty busy with school, rehearsal and leading up to 8 WW meetings a week, but I think that’s helping me to keep my mind occupied.

Maybe right now it’s not a break up that’s causing you to eat, perhaps you eat when you’re stressed or happy or tired or anxious. Whatever your reason, it’s important to try and find other ways to cope that aren’t related to food. Do something that makes you feel good. Phone a friend. Practice yoga. Go shopping. Take your dog for a walk. Rearrange your closet. Read. Sleep. You’ll be taking care of yourself and end up feeling so much better in the long run.

I appreciate the gentle reminder from the Weight Watchers corporate writers gods to take care of myself this week in ways that don’t involve food (or not food) I’m working on getting back to me in the best and only ways I know how.


Pure2Raw Twins said...

So sorry girl to hear about your news! I know you will get back on tracks sounds like you have a great support system and action plan to get back :) Hand in there! Don't worry too much about the food (eating on emotions) we all do it from time to time, even me! Just remember you if you keep your head up and look to the future you can change and everything will work out the way it is supposed too! My sister and I have you in our thoughts, but we know you are a very strong person that will get through this :) sending you lots of xoxoxox !!!!!

Amanda said...

Ashley, I'm sorry to hear the news; to say that the break-up of a long term relationship is tough is somewhat of an understatement. I just wanted to let you know how much you inspire me and so many others -- through your blog, and through your meetings (I've recently joined Saturday mornings at the carrot). Surely you will be able to inspire yourself and get through this and be better for it on the other side. Good luck, be good to yourself.

nikbis said...

Oh Ash :( you're so wonderful , strong and lets not forget beautiful. It breaks my heart to know that you would ever be in any pain.

You sound like you're dealing with it and that's all you can do really. Take care of you.

Who knows why these things don't work out - only the 2 people involved - and sometimes even they can't really pinpoint it.

If you are up to reading, I'd recommend Its Called a Breakup Because its Broken. I've had to read it a couple times in my life. And it has helped every time. Also, a little comedic relief.

Love you lots girl, it warms my heart to know that you have such wonderful supportive friends around at this time (and always). xoxo

kathyj333 said...

Losing someone from your life is painful. It's wonderful that you have support. Take care of yourself. This too will pass.

Rachel said...

Awww..sweetie - I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm really glad you're focusing on being kind to yourself though. Chin up, beautiful! I'm sure your life is changing for the better long term.

Megan said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this Ashley.

Just keep strong and positive and remember all of the great things you have in your life!

I hope you start feeling better soon,

Thinking about you!

Miss M. said...

Oh honey.
I'm so sorry.

The only thing I can say is: read the book "zen and the art of falling in love".

Love you kitten, I'm so sorry.

Annika said...

Big hugs, Ashley.

Meghan (Making Love In The Kitchen) said...

Here's the thing... we're not supposed to eat when we're feeling sad/lonely/stressed/depressed etc. Most of us do because some cake and ice cream might be a momentary hug and kiss but it doesn't last. Though this has been a challenging time for you, perhaps you can also see the good- see how far you have come in your relationship with food and your own body. And perhaps this might also be a reminder of why it is healthful to keep a little extra junk in that trunk... for the times when we need our spare tire to help us out ;)

You are on the right path, and I know that you know, feel and believe this. Sometimes we have to treck to sticky icky mud puddles, and survive the storms before we see the sunshine and rainbows and get to dip our feet in the calm seas.... knowing that can make things easier, but having trust and faith int that is the challenge when you are well in it.

Love you!

K8 said...


Unknown said...

So sad when I read your post today. But then I smiled because I know if anyone can get through the tough stuff and come out shining it is certainly you. I know I speak for myself and (many) others when I say your grace, beauty, wit and charm resonates in all our hearts. My new favorite quote compliments from a tee-shirt at the blue banana - Keep calm and carry on! xoxo Amanda Gibson

Alex said...

Sometimes we need certain people in our lives at some points, and we release them when we are ready. I wish you courage and happiness as you move on.

If you need an extra friend right now, I'm in the neighbourhood if you want to chat or need a hug.

Good for you for identifying your emotions and being accountable for them. You'll heal all the faster for it :)

Big hugs,

carm said...

Hi Ashley, I just started following your blog a few weeks ago, and I'm really sorry to hear about the recent news!

I just recently got out of a 3.5 yr relationship as well, and I know the hurt you are going through, if I could offer one piece of wisdom is that when things changes so drastic happen in life like this one, they usually spark other changes, and although you are probably thinking "so much has changed for me already" have faith that even better things are to come.

In the meantime, take the time to heal your heart, worry about yourself for awhile and let your friends support you

Unknown said...

Just catching up on your blogs.....wow Ash. Can't believe it, but with such big changes in your life lately I can't help but think there may be some good in this too? Breaking up is so hard - cherish the good times with Joey. Don't forget him - and know that you have a million people (including me) around you who love and support you always:)

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