Sunday Diaries

 

Two weeks ago I resigned from my job, and on Thursday I had my last day. 

If you had asked me at the start of 2020 if I thought mid summer I'd be leaving my job at Shopify and starting something new, I probably would have laughed a lot and scoffed at the very notion. But the last few months have brought their fair share of challenges and change. I started to feel like so much was happening to me, and I was no longer in the driver's seat. Deep down in my gut, I knew that I needed to make a bold move and that was really scary.

I've known for a long time that I'm someone who operates more in the feeling/emotional/intuition realm vs. the logical. This is a place I feel pretty comfortable in, and it's served me well in my life. There's a lot of ways that people talk about this inner voice, including intuition, gut feeling, or inner voice. I listened to a great podcast with Glennon Doyle and Liz Moody this weekend where Glennon talked about this very idea. She encouraged listeners to listen to that inner voice and said "we need to stop following other people's maps and trust our inner compass."

I'm grateful that I was in a role that got to carry on throughout COVID-19 and transition to working from home. Working from home was certainly a change, but I was able to carve out a little space to work in our second bedroom. I missed the office, having a regular routine, my co-workers, traveling, planning in person events and so much more. It was announced that we wouldn't be going back to the office in the same way for the foreseeable future and I also changed roles in late April. Everything just felt different and I wasn't certain I was in the right place for the long term. That inner voice became a persistent whisper once summer hit, and I started to ponder the what-ifs of making a change. 

I eased into the idea slowly and took time to explore my options. I made lists. I took walks. I cried. I continued phone therapy. I'm thankful for Paul and my lovely friends who also helped to talk through it all with me. Once I gave my notice there was no turning back. It was empowering to feel like I was reclaiming 2020, and making the right choice for myself going forward.

It's very strange to end a job whilst working from home. There's no in person goodbyes or packing up your desk, dropping off your laptop or leaving the building for the last time. There's no hugs, and limited options for seeing folks in real life to say farewell. I was honoured to receive lots of well wishes, kind words, flowers and cards - some folks even organized a big google hangout with a group of people that I had supported and worked with during my time. I went through the week feeling a whole mix of emotions, and while there were a lot of tears, I didn't doubt my decision; I felt empowered and excited for what comes next.

Tomorrow I start a new role at a new company and the whole thing still feels surreal. I'll be continuing to work from home, but on Friday I got to meet my team in person for a socially distanced lunch and wine tasting. It was pretty special! I'm beyond thrilled for this next chapter. My intuition knew what was up, and I'm so thankful that I listened.

via Morgan Harper Nicols