Why is This Time Going to Be Any Different?

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

There's been a question that's been brewing in the back of my brain and coming up in my thoughts of late:

Why is this time going to be any different?

This has been specifically related to my recent transformation and lifestyle change as a result of completing Insanity and (now) PiYo.

I've lost weight before. In 2006, I joined Weight Watchers and lost 30 lbs. Around the time of my break up, I lost another 10 unintentionally and not in a healthy way. Over the course of the next 2 years I would put some of that weight back on. There was a point where I almost took a leave of absence from Weight Watchers because I wasn't feeling good on the inside or the outside and was having a hard time reconciling those feelings while being outwardly positive in my meetings.

After I left WW in 2012, I focused on feeling good in my own skin, rather than basing my feelings on the scale. I stopped weighing myself for a long time and focused on nourishing my body. At the beginning of 2014, I set a goal to continue do exactly that and right before I started Insanity, was feeling really awesome.

Since joining Weight Watchers, I've dabbled in fitness off and on. I've had gym memberships, personal trainers, gone to boot camps and had great results. I remember looking back at photos from my boot camp days and thinking about how much I would LOVE to go back to having that body. But after boot camp, I didn't really keep up with my workouts as much as I could have and my body didn't stay that way.

With my weight and level of fitness fluctuating up and down since I took that initial step back in 2006, you can see why this question of "why is this time going to be different" has come into focus. And I know that I'm not alone in this. Instead of get down on myself and worry about what 'could' or 'might' happen, I've chosen to come up with a list of reasons as to why this time is going to be different.

I feel awesome, inside and out. 

It's interesting, but this is new for me. For the first time, I truly feel that how I feel on the inside, matches what's happening on the outside. I don't know that I've ever had that.

With my initial weight loss, I was so focused on the scale and getting down past a certain number. Even when I tried to focus on how I was FEELING, it was really difficult to shove the scale out of my brain. When I was at my fittest (during boot camp) I wrote in my journal about how I wanted to lose 5 more pounds (wtf?!), despite the fact that my body was toned, I had lost a significant amount of body fat and had increased my level of fitness significantly. When I stepped away from the scale, I was able to get back to feeling good about myself in a way that was totally separate from what I weighed. Going into Insanity with that mentality made my progress feel even better and gave me extra confidence.

I have an incredible support network. 

Having accountability and support has been an integral part throughout weight loss and fitness journey. Meetings, mentors and classes have always helped me. Having an inspiring and motivating Coach, along with an online support & accountability group has kept me focused and on track. It's something that I'm committed to continuing with going forward, as I know that it will help keep me motivated and on track.

And just because I'm a Coach now, doesn't mean that I'm going to stop focusing on my own progress and journey. I realize that feeling my best and actively working towards my own goals, is going to help me help others do the same. I am right down there in the trenches and that isn't about to end anytime soon. Helping others is INCREDIBLE and continues to inspire me every day. It's an amazing feeling that is just going to continue to grow over time.

My expectations feel manageable and realistic. 

Looking back at how my mentality about health, weight loss and fitness has changed over the years is really interesting to me.

As much as I tried not to be, there were times when I was a slave to the scale. 0.8 lbs would upset me. During that boot camp, I was fixated on losing 5 more pounds. I had a lot of expectations for myself that were all based around a number. I've weighed myself out of curiosity since finishing Insanity, but I've left the obsession with the number on the scale in the past.

Previously, I would feel guilty for eating certain foods or overindulging. In time, I've been able to get out of the 'good' and 'bad' food mentality, and just make choices about what I eat. Yesterday, I had a gluten free, vegan brownie and it was delicious. No guilt, no shame. Just enjoyment. I now write down what I eat to keep myself accountable, but also to see patterns and work towards fueling my body in the best way possible.

I missed a workout on the weekend because life was crazy and I was exhausted. I didn't beat myself up or stress out about it and just got back on track on Monday.  My attitude is firmly planted in positivity and moderation and it feels awesome. I'm committed to feeling good and nourishing my body, and that's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm done with the negative self talk. 

Allowing myself to hear the thought "why is this time going to be any different?" and answering the question honestly and realistically has been huge for me. Negative self talk could have previously convinced me that I wouldn't be able to maintain this healthy, positive lifestyle or that I would just quit or stop working out or gain weight or feel terrible. And to be honest, this post seemed a bit scary to write because I was publicly putting that question and these answers out into the world. I can see that all of the ups and downs and things that have brought me to this place have been experiences, and not failure.I refuse to beat myself up for things that have happened in the past or ways that life has changed. I recognize that things could change in an instant once again, but in this moment, I'm committing to feeling great, nourishing my body and continuing with the healthy habits that I've formed to help me do that successfully. Positive self talk is HUGE and I'm working on it every day.

Ashley Gibson progress PiYo Beachbody

Negative self talk, you can take a hike.

I'm so happy to be in this place and recognize that it's been a long journey to get here. This time is going to be different because of the way I feel, the attitude I've embraced and the expectations I've set for myself.

It already IS different this time around and I'm excited and inspired to keep moving forward.

What's different for YOU this time? What steps have you taken to stay motivated, focused and feeling great once you've made changes in your lifestyle?

And if you're ready to make a change in your lifestyle and make it different for YOU this time around, I wanna talk! I've got a new support & accountability group starting on Monday to run through the end of 2014 to help make that happen. Comment below with your email, message me on Facebook or send me a message in the 'contact' section. I would love to connect with you and hear more xo

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