just being me

It's crazy to think that as of this past weekend, it's been a whole year since I led my last Weight Watchers meeting.

It was a tough decision to make after following the program since 2006, losing 30 lbs and becoming a leader in 2007. The first week that I didn't wake up on a Saturday morning at the crack of dawn felt very strange and for awhile I felt a void in my life.

I missed my members.
I missed the community.
I missed the inspirational quotes.
And I missed helping people succeed in their journeys.

On the flip side of all of that, I felt like a new person.

For a long time I had felt a lot of pressure about my weight and the way I looked and was perceived. I felt the need to be a role model to so many and was also really tired of sending my weight to head office. Not being a leader gave me the freedom to just be me and end my war with the scale.

Being a year away from doing Weight Watchers also means that it's been about a year since I've weighed myself. I'd be lying if I said that it's been smooth sailing, but so far in 2013 I've been feeling pretty great physically.


I've been eating well, being active (back to Insanity) and in general feeling happy, calm and beautiful. It's refreshing to just feel that way, rather than letting an inanimate object dictate my overall perception of my body. I know that I wouldn't be where I am without doing Weight Watchers, but I also realize that it was a stepping stone for me and that I was ready to move forward. I feel good and I like it.

"We can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are" ~Oprah

My intuition told me that it was the right time to move forward and a year later I can look back and say that I was absolutely right.

Often the hardest decisions are the most important ones to make.

3 comments:

Chris V said...

Congratulations, Ashley!! Sounds like things are going well!! Somehow we are just wired to make the right, even if tough decisions.

Gena said...

Great post, Ashley. It can be hard to leave behind identities to which we've become attached, but it often opens up so much room for growth. Lately, I've been thinking more and more about the way I define myself as someone who has had an eating disorder. I want to find a way both to continue sharing that part of my life and being protective of my recovery, while also allowing myself to say "I'm recovered now, and don't need to be defined by my ED anymore." It's an interesting balance, and I'm just letting my reaction to it unfold organically :)

xo

CL said...

Congrats! Weight Watchers helped me to loose over 60 pounds 6 years ago and I've held it off since then!